12/05/2026
【Real Talk: Submission? Suppressing? 🤔】
Recently, I sat down with a bunch of uni students to open up the Bible, and we hit 1 Peter chapter 3.
Right off the bat, it says: "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands..."
Sure enough, the second the crew heard the word "submit," alarm bells went off and you could instantly feel the pushback.
Honestly, I totally get it! For a lot of girls, the first thought that pops into their heads when they hear "submission" is definitely: "Yeah right, why should I?" It sounds like the moment a Christian girl gets hitched, she has to switch off her brain, suppress her own thoughts no matter what happens, and just blindly go along with whatever her husband decides.
That sounds absolutely gutting, right? But... is that actually what the Bible means? What does a "God-honouring marriage" really look like?
Tell you what, let's talk about the guys first!
A lot of people have a massive misunderstanding about male "leadership," thinking that being the leader just means being the "Big Boss who calls all the shots at home." But check out what 1 Peter 3:7 says: "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives..."
That phrase "be considerate" actually carries a deep sense of understanding and truly knowing her. In other words, bros, your job is never to use your "authority" to crush your wife, but to put in the hard yards to genuinely understand her! A guy can't just care about his own preferences and ego; he needs to tune in to his wife's feelings, personality, and needs.
The Bible's meaning is super clear: True, mature leadership in a marriage isn't about saying, "What I say goes." It's about saying, "I'm willing to take the time to truly get you."
That same verse goes on to say: "...and treat them with respect as the weaker partner..."
Hold up, does "weaker" mean girls are less smart or lack faith? Absolutely not! What it's getting at here is more about the physical differences between guys and girls, and even more so, it's God's call for men to step up and show "protection and respect."
Let me give you a crackin' example:
Imagine you and your girlfriend are walking down the street, and suddenly a guy with a knife jumps out! At that exact moment, you remember, whoa, your petite girlfriend is actually a black belt in Karate, and you've literally never been in a scrap in your life.
Lads, let me remind you of something: No matter how good of a fighter she is, you still need to step up first! You need to shield her behind you and yell at the attacker: "Back off! Don't even think about touching her!" Even if it ends up being the girl who drops the guy with a flying kick (which is entirely sweet 😂), the point is: as a husband, are you the guy who is willing to step up and take the heat when faced with danger and pressure? That is what a real man does!
So, the "submission" the Bible talks about is never about the wife just being suppressed and taken advantage of.
Paul makes it even clearer in Ephesians 5: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
See what he did there? In God’s design, true godly leadership is never about establishing authority through barking orders and control. Instead, a godly husband is keen to listen to his wife's voice and is even willing to "sacrifice himself" for his family.
＊ A healthy marriage isn't about who bosses who around; it's a partnership of carrying the load together.
＊ When dealing with life's ups and downs, both of you should feel safe putting your thoughts on the table and making decisions together as a team.
＊ "Submission" is never about suppressing who you are; it’s about willingly having each other's backs in a space of love and trust.
When a couple drops the need to control and the "who wins/who loses" mentality, and replaces it with a willingness to lay down their lives for each other with understanding and respect—that’s where you find the most irreplaceable intimacy in a marriage. ❤️
