16/02/2025
Ways to respect your husband:
1. Refrain from interrupting him in conversation.
2. Make eye contact while listening to him.
3. Avoid rolling your eyes while speaking with him. This communicates that you think his ideas are stupid – he’ll stop sharing what he thinks with you if you keep responding this way.
4. When he is speaking, listen intently, trying to understand.
5. Appear approachable instead of judgmental while listening, asking questions to further your understanding, even if you think you might disagree.
6. Understand his point of view when you disagree, knowing that even though he may not be communicating emotionally, he might feel strongly about his thoughts.
7. Affirm his point of view, especially when you disagree.
8. Help him carve out time to spend with his friends.
9. Choose carefully whether or not the issue at hand is worthy of disagreement – the more you disagree with him, the less he values your input.
10. If you disagree with a position he holds, after understanding and affirming it (“If I understand you correctly, you are saying…I can see why you would say that because…”) let him know you have another thought (“A concern I have about this is,” or, “What I am wondering is,” “What I’m struggling with is…”)
11. Say, “Thank you!” when he does something for you, regardless of what it is – wise women are appreciative of all things. Anyone can be grateful for big things, a wise woman is grateful for the small also.
12. Say, “Thank you for going to work,” or “Thank you for looking for work today,” if he is doing either. Wise people thank others for doing the things they do daily, instead of taking them for granted.
13. Compliment him on acts of generosity, “You are so generous! Thank you for doing that.”
14. Have emotional control when you bring up issues.
15. Understand that talking about issues when you are upset does not yield the best result for either of you.
16. Don’t get frustrated with him when he doesn’t express his feelings well.
17. Accept his feelings, and affirm him for sharing them, even if you don’t agree with his position (“That sounds like it is a difficult thing for you…I appreciate your sharing this with me. How can I help?”)
18. Don’t talk about issues when he is tired, distracted, or hungry.
19. Don’t assume he has a negative feeling, instead, tell him, “I’m sure you have a good reason for what you are saying, can you share with me what it is? I’m confused.”
20. Say, “Excuse me,” when you are trying to get his attention, or say his name.
21. Introduce him to people at social gatherings, even if he’s already met them, unless they are very good friends of yours whom he sees frequently.
22. Don’t be disagreeable.
23. Initiate intimacy.
24. Cultivate your own relationship with God.
25. Take care of yourself physically – get rest, exercise, and eat right.
26. Let him finish his sentences without interrupting and without finishing them for him.
27. Ask him what he thinks about stuff that’s important to you or the kids.
28. Stop whatever you are doing when he is talking and make eye contact with him, being a good listener by being interested in what he is saying.
29. Give him at least one compliment a day that builds him up – point out a character strength and say why it matters.
30. Be enthusiastic about intimacy, pursuing him…
31. Encourage him to spend time with his friends, and make it easy for him to do so.
32. Make him favorite meals regularly.
33. Ask him for advice about things you are dealing with.
34. Do what he suggests.
35. Ask him daily if there is something you can do for him that day. Then do it.
36. Help him de-tox from his day by providing a quiet, calm environment for him to come home to.
37. If you are working, try to work your schedule such that you can arrive a few minutes before he does to relax and freshen up a bit.
38. Get dressed daily and avoid “letting yourself go” physically.
39. Let him know daily something you admire about him.
40. Don’t poison your marriage with criticism. Ask him for what you want, but refrain from telling him he is failing at something – it will demotivate him.
41. Ask him how his day went – then really listen to him about it.
42. If you break something of his, fix it.
43. Don’t openly disagree with him in front of others.
44. When he apologizes, smile broadly, kiss him, and thank him for apologizing and understanding. Then tell him you forgive him. It’s like it never happened.
45. Don’t dredge up issues – if you choose not to confront him about something, you have chosen to let it go. He won’t trust you if you bring up things from the past.
46. Avoid getting lazy in your relationship – ask God to keep your heart prioritizing your husband in your life.
47. When he comes back from work or an errand, stop what you are doing, and greet him enthusiastically. “Honey! I’m glad you are back! I missed you!”
48. Let him know how whatever he does positively impacts you. “Baby, thank you for consistently paying the bills for our family – I appreciate that and am thankful to not have to deal with that stressful task.
49. If he lets you know something is bothering him, be a good listener – don’t give him advice unless he asks for it.
50. If you have an idea that might help him with something, come to him and say, “I’ve been thinking about how ABC has been bothering you, and this might be a silly idea, and you probably already thought of it, but would it work to XYZ?”
51. If he wants to talk to you and you are in the middle of something (texting, email, completing a sale, reading the last paragraph of a chapter, a complicated work project, whatever) don’t try to multi-task. STOP. Say, “I really want to hear about this – I want to give you my undivided attention, and I’m in the middle of a conversation with so-and-so about such-and-such. If you give me just five minutes, I’ll be all yours.”
52. Better yet, if it is something that can wait, let it wait – that way he’ll feel important to you.
53. If he approaches you for s*x at an inopportune time, give him a passionate kiss and say, “I am SO into this right now! And you know what? I’m dyin’ because I’m late to XYZ – so you keep this fire burning until (time later that same day) and you will be so very glad you started this…I don’t know how I’m going to think straight today now that my mind is on YOU!” Wink.
54. If he gives you a gift, receive it graciously, no matter what it is. He will grow more confident as a gift giver over time and will most likely figure out what you really want, unless you criticize the desire to improve out of him.
55. When he fails at something and tells you about it, no matter how awful and dire the situation is, respond with, “Honey, I am behind you. I believe in you. You are a smart guy and a hard-working man and I know we’ll get through this.” Then let him figure it out. Pray for him while he does. Know he’s already kicking himself for failing at something, so getting mad at him doesn’t help and just makes him demotivated.
56. Don’t offer to rescue your husband or do something to solve his problem. If he wants your help, he will ask for it. He needs time to think through what to do, and needs to know you trust him to figure it out. If you mother him, you will turn him into a dependent boy instead of allowing him to figure out how to be a real man.
57. Don’t make jokes at his expense. Ever. Not in private, not in public. Not ever.
58. Don’t demean him in public. Ever. If he didn’t do something he said he would, speak to him as if he were a colleague of yours if you were in a fine educational institution. Do not berate him in private or in public.
59. Have grace if he makes a mistake or forgets something, even if it is important. Men do not think the same way we do – expecting him to act the way you (or another female) would is ridiculous.
60. Don’t compete with your husband. If you must play against him, don’t be out for blood. Try to set up game situations such that you and he are on the same team.
61. If you lose at something and your husband wins, congratulate him on his skills – even if he behaves like an egomaniac.
62. If you are supposed to leave at a certain time, be ready to go at that time.
63. Follow up with him about a struggle he’s shared – ask him how it’s going, especially if you sense it is going well, then look for an opportunity to compliment him.
64. NEVER criticize him in front of people he works.
65. Talk about things he is interested in.
66. Engage in hobbies he enjoys with him.
67. If he is completing a task, just go hang out with him. Offer to bring him a glass of water or cup of coffee. If he asks why you are there, say, “I just like being with you.” If he is like most men, he will appreciate your presence, even if you aren’t working together.
68. If he is working outside, in the garage or something similar, ask if you can be with him while he does it.
69. Avoid arguing with him. Instead, try to find areas of common ground and talk about those.
70. Touch him in the middle of a disagreement. Better yet, plant a big kiss on him. It will help both of you.
71. Don’t speak critically about his family, especially his mother. Handle conversations about his family with care, remembering that he loves these people.
72. Don’t tell him directly that he is wrong, but rather after telling him, “I’m sure you have a good reason for thinking/doing ABC – do you mind if I ask you a few questions to help me understand? A concern I have is XYZ… how does that fit?”
73. The most important thing you can do for your husband is spend time with God, developing THAT relationship, as it is the most important one
in your life.
