16/06/2023
FATHERHOOD AND SONSHIP IN MINISTRY (2)
This is the second part in this crucial and scriptural subject, but which has been much abused today. Kindly read it with open heart and prayers, for it might shatter most of what you have previously been taught. There is still more to come. Here we go again.
C. Responsibilities of Spiritual Fathers – I Cor. 4:15, Isaiah 42:1-4, Prov. 13:22.
One of my friends asked me a question about distant or abstract mentoring, coaching or fathering, and this is my reply; In some situations like the one you mentioned, there is possibility of distant and abstract mentoring. I have benefitted from this also. Even, lots of people are mentored by my posts, books and teachings over the years, but the ideal nature of mentoring is one on one sir. Personal contact, nurturing, covering, impartation, accountability, and sharing is fundamental to scriptural mentoring. Another scriptural name for mentoring or fathering is discipleship
Spiritual fathers have awesome responsibilities in the body of Christ. Much more than physical fathers, they are to nurture the next generation of leaders for Christ. Once you preach the gospel of Christ and you have converts that looks up to you for spiritual growth and walk with God, you are a spiritual parent, and your responsibilities are inclusive of these:
➢ Nurturing and empowering
➢ Lay a legacy of good work and value system
➢ Be a good model and worthy example
➢ Broadminded and developer of talents
➢ Discipline and correction in truth.
➢ Encourage the weak, lift the fallen.
➢ Provide a ladder and platform
➢ Challenge and motivate for great impact
➢ Invoke divine blessings, favour and open doors.
A good and godly father must be free from selfishness, pettiness and jealousy, He is happy to raise up the foundation of many generations and rebuild the old waste places - Isaiah 58: 10-12. He must be ready to invest in the potentials,gifts and ministry of others.
D. Difference between a Father and Mentor.
Too many people are confused about the difference between a spiritual father and a mentor. Yes, in many instances, both can be the same, yet in lots of occasions also, they can be different. Different people can play these roles in your life over period of time. For example, I have some few spiritual fathers In my life, and also have many mentors. My spiritual fathers were there for me at the beginning of my spiritual walk with the Lord, they were there for me at the foundation of my ministry. But have to look for mentors in the unique area of ministry that God called me into, because it was way beyond the understanding of my spiritual fathers then. Well, you may only have one or two fathers, however, you can have many mentors in your life, such as marriage, finance, ministry, health and leadership mentors or coaches. The followings are major differences between a spiritual father and mentors:
• A father helped you to start, a mentor keep you on track.
• A father build you up, a mentor gives you clarified vision.
• A father sees your potentials, a mentor makes you fulfill it.
• A father keeps track of you, a mentor speaks to you candidly.
• A father deserves your care, a mentor receives your gifts.
• A father endures with you, a mentor place a demand on you.
• A father knows you well, a mentor seeks to know you.
• A true father will never abuse you, a mentor can take advantage of you.
• A true father sets you on the way, a mentor gives you a ladder to climb.
• A true father posses a large, patient heart, a mentor wants verifiable results.
Apostle Paul writes through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, "For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel" You will almost always need a mentor and father in the ministry, if you are going to go far. Your father or mentor may not be popular, well known nor have a 'big' ministry, but once he has demonstrates the qualities of a good father or mentor, it is wicked to abandon him for a popular one.
It's a lie to say you can't have two fathers. You sure definitely can have more than one father or mentor, because the one who gave birth to you, either biologically or spiritually, may not, or do not play that role in your life to any appreciable degree.
D. Types of Spiritual Fathers in Ministry Today
I need to repeat again and again, a good and godly mentor will add good value to your life and set you in the ways of God, to realize His assignment for your life. A mentor or father that only takes from you but doesn't add to you is an aberration.
Over the years, both in my personal experience and research work, I have come across many different types of fathers in ministry. Check out these:
1. Self-imposed Fathers
These are senior ministers that felt that you should be under them, because they see the good work God is doing through you. They behave as if they are your mentor and impose themselves on you. They place a demand on you and get offended if you don't treat them as they expected. Without much ado, they proudly refer to you as 'my son in the ministry', when you invite them to preach in your church, yet they are not contributing anything to you, but only interested in your seed, tithes and gifts.
2. Absentee Fathers
They are truly your father, but they are never available.. They are not there for you when you need them. They only collect your tithe and write you a receipt. To see them might take 3-6 months. They see you as a pest in their lives, just a number or meal ticket. In most cases, they don't know you, visit you nor out a call through to you to ask of your welfare. But when they don't receive your tithes in time, they threaten to place a curse on you.
3. Abusive Fathers
They take advantages of you and inflict pain on you. They demand for money, respect and things you cannot afford. They see whatever you give them as a right and never really appreciate your sacrifices. They castigate, backstab and injure you. They sided with your accusers and run you down at every opportunity.
4. Cash Fathers
They are only after money, gifts and benefits from you. They will never correct nor rebuke you for any wrong. They relate with you on cash and carry basis. They sing and talk of their needs in your ears, and you only get close to their good book when money is flowing from you to them. Once the money stops, you are a bad boy!
5. Backsliding Fathers
They started with God, but have somehow gone back into sin and error. They now live against what they once preached. Their lives and ministries have become corrupt, immoral and against the scripture, yet they are laying hands on upcoming young ministers here and there, thus contaminating their future. Moreover, they see you as their sons and they keep a hold on you. They find it hard to accept their errors. Some of them have dabble into occultism, spurious prophetic acts and strange miracles in ministry, and they want to lure you in too by your close proximity to them.
6. Selfish Fathers
These are fathers that are like King Saul of old. They are jealous, insecure of the graces, potentials and gifting of their young David. They are threatened, reactionary and will do anything to keep their protege in bo***ge and not release them to go and fulfill their God given purposes. They only think in terms of Me, I, Myself.
7. Nurturing Fathers
They spent time, talent and treasures to nurture and empower sons in the Lord. They discipline and correct where possible. They demonstrate concern for the person than their gifts. They holds relational meetings, counseling sessions, question and answer sessions for their mentees. They visit, call, pray for and intercede for those who look up to them as spiritual parents..They are willing to provide resources that will uplift their dependants in the Lord. They are fruitful grounds to sow.
What kind of spiritual father, mentor or coach are you to those looking up to you?
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