08/08/2026
ONGOING 2026 DYF CONVENTION RIVERS STATE CHAPTER
OUR FORMER DYF NATIONAL PRESIDENT WAS ONE OF THE GUEST MINISTER AT THE ONGOING DYF RIVERS STATE PROGRAM
M.S.A F. ABBEY
SEMINAR II: SINGLE AND MARRIED
BY MOST SP.AP. ABBEY FINIARISA.
ADVICE FOR SINGLES AND MARRIED COUPLES
Marriage Begins With Personal Development
Marriage is not just about finding the right person; it is also about becoming the right person. Before seeking a life partner, you should work on yourself and develop yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and financially.
Genesis 24:16–21 — Rebekah’s character and conduct were evident even before she entered into marriage.
Advice for Singles
- Know yourself: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, purpose, values, and what you desire in life.
- Put God first: Commit every aspect of your life and relationship to God.
- Do not marry because of pressure: Marriage should be entered into by conviction and readiness, not because of pressure from family, friends, or society.
- Choose character over appearance: Physical attraction is important, but good character is more important for a lasting marriage.
- Be intentional: Be deliberate about the person you choose and the kind of marriage you want to build.
- Learn to communicate: Healthy communication is essential in every relationship.
- Build emotional connection: Learn to understand, support, and connect with your partner emotionally.
- Pay attention to red flags: Do not ignore obvious warning signs by saying, “He or she will change.” Do not enter marriage expecting to change someone.
- Be financially prepared: Develop financial responsibility and learn how to manage money wisely.
- Learn to forgive: Forgiveness is essential in every relationship. Do not keep records of past mistakes.
- Seek good parental counsel: Listen to wise and godly counsel from mature parents or trusted mentors.
Marriage Requires Preparation
God saw that Adam was alone and provided a suitable helper for him (Genesis 2:18). Marriage is a partnership designed to provide companionship, support, and purpose.
If you are not properly built spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially, you may struggle to sustain a healthy marriage.
Advice for Married Couples
Keep God at the Centre
Always remember that God should remain at the centre of your marriage. When challenges arise, your response to the situation matters.
Psalm 118:8–9 reminds us to put our trust in the Lord rather than placing our confidence solely in people.
Love Each Other Intentionally
Do not assume that your spouse knows you love them. Express love through your words, actions, attention, kindness, and support.
Communicate
Learn to talk openly and respectfully about your feelings, concerns, expectations, finances, family matters, and future plans.
Learn to Forgive
Forgive one another and avoid constantly reminding your spouse of past mistakes. Once an issue has been genuinely resolved, do not continually use it as a weapon during future disagreements.
Protect Your Marriage
Protect your marriage from unnecessary interference, unhealthy relationships, secrecy, and anything that can weaken the trust between you and your spouse.
Control Your Response
You may not always be able to control what happens in your marriage, but you can control how you respond to the situation. Wisdom, patience, self-control, and prayer can help you handle difficult moments properly.
Remember: A successful marriage is not built by two perfect people. It is built by two people who are willing to grow, communicate, forgive, love intentionally, and keep God at the centre.If you want, I can also turn this into a powerful marriage seminar/teaching note with a title, introduction, Bible verses, and well-arranged subtopics.
