13/06/2026
I am in the best position to judge anyone else’s relationship.
I realize that opening line might not sit well. You’re likely questioning my intent, perhaps even feeling a bit defensive; and honestly, that’s fair. However consider this | when you are caught inside the storm of romantic attraction, you lose the ability to see the horizon.
A friend of mine is in a new relationship now, and I find myself genuinely joyful for him. Admittedly, I disliked his last few relationships. I could see the red flags and structural fractures that doomed those connections long before he did.
Falling in love transcends mere feelings. It forces us through a full neurological shift.
Dopamine is the primary chemical driver of the Eros reward system. Its surge brings heightened energy, intense motivation, and obsessive fixation on the beloved. In this phase, the brain’s reward centers mirror the neurobiological signature of substance addiction.
Under these conditions, the seat of rational judgment and long-term planning is essentially bypassed. Because the brain effectively disables its own “caution” alarms during the initial stage of romance, navigating the journey of love entirely on your own is inherently risky.
This is where the unmatched importance of parental and friendly guidance comes into play. Trusted mentors, parents, and friends act as your external prefrontal cortex. They are not blinded by the dopamine fog.
Guidance is not about control; it is about providing a clear view of the horizon. A suitable spouse is rarely found by accident. They are found through a combination of personal intention and the vetting eyes of those who hold your best interests at heart.
Alignment is not accidental. It’s engineered. And it’s far easier to engineer when you’ve allowed wise voices to speak into your Attraction stage. Those who reject guidance during the storm often crash when the weather clears.
So you see, I don’t claim to be a judge of people. Until intending spouses have moved into the Alignment Stage and the chemical clouds have parted, I remain in the best position to access the structural integrity of their relationship.
Have you found the balance between following your heart and listening to the voices of those who truly care about you?
Share with someone who needs to hear this.
