15/07/2017
Sometimes when I consider that along the path of life, it is possible to miss God and not even be aware of it; when I think that it is possible to sit relaxed around a particular move of God when actually God has moved further; when I consider that my idols and hidden ambitions can talk to me and sound like the voice of the Lord, and I would not be able to discern it because my heart is held in captivity and insincerity... These things make me cry for mercy...every step of the way Lord keep me on course... Keep me right in the centre of your will... Deliver me from the fear of man, the fear of what a man will think/say/do if I choose to obey You; and make me bold in Your will
It is possible that I am so busy servicing my secret idols and yet I think I am serving the Lord. Our idols are found in the very things that God gives to us, that is why the heart's pursuit, always, must remain only one thing: THE LORD, not the things He gives (anointing, position, graces, giftings, etc.)
Eyes must remain single otherwise the more we come into certain positions/graces/giftings, the stronger the tendency to 'settle', and the higher our tendency to think we have attained... We may never voice it out, but it's just there in our consciousness; and it certainly does speak forth in our relations with others who may not be positioned, graced, gifted, anointed as we are...
Poverty of spirit indeed is great stature in the spirit because it keeps the heart perpetually bowed! If there is any stature I seek at this time, it is to come into perpetual spiritual poverty, and become a 'beggar' who 'begs' God for everything, a man who can do nothing of himself except that which grace does; such a person I desire to be.
One would have thought that Moses should have known what to do when he stood before the Red Sea after all the wonders that God had wrought through him in Egypt, but Moses cried to God. He did not know what to do. He was a poor man indeed. He did not assume that he knew what to do with the rod, even though he had used the rod severally. Everything he did was by instruction; he never became overly familiar with the rod and he never relied on the rod rather than the Lord.
However, a season came in his life when the Lord raised him above the use of the rod and instructed him to speak to the rock rather than strike it. This happened after Moses' experience with the Lord God upon the Mount where he was helped to see the 'face' of God.
That encounter was a promotion for him in the spirit, but because Moses could not discern at that point in his life that he had been moved higher and didn't need the rod anymore, he used the rod. He was angry with the people... He had gotten sooo used to the rod that he was not able to relate with his new realm. He was expected to operate from his face (speak to the rock) rather from his hand (strike the rock). It is risky to remain on the same spot when God has actually made provisions for us to move into higher dimensions because there at that spot, darkness could catch up with us since the glory cloud has moved on from there. And because God needed to judge that singular sacrilegious act of Moses', God stopped him from entering the land of promise. All along the way Moses was upright before God, but at that point, he missed it and it was so costly...
All I am saying is that we must keep a broken, contrite and trembling heart before the Lord every step along the way. No matter the encounters, revelations, experiences, graces, giftings, position we have come into, we should cry for grace to maintain a bowed heart knowing that 'I can miss it, and just keep going in the wrong direction, and still be having encounters, completely unaware that I have missed it...'
No matter how powerful the 'rod' we have been given, we should never trust it rather than the Lord, we should hold it lightly, not with a firm grip, and we should be awake in the spirit/selfless enough to know when to stop using it and move further.
I need to keep my gaze on the Lord... I need to keep my eyes on Him... I need to desire nothing else but Him. And when He gives me His things, I should not let myself be defined by those things but by Him, my relationship with Him, my closeness to Him, my passion to hear His heartbeat. I should move at the frequency of His heart; I should desire just to sit at His feet, gazing into His eyes in deep communion... These are the things that should define my person, not the things He gives me.
I must never be attached to anything the Lord gives me, IT MUST BE HIM ALONE getting all my worship and attention... It must be Him alone that my heart is so inseparably attached to.
Let me just know that my soul yearns for nothing else but Him, and that it will not become a wrestling contest when He comes asking me to lay down my crown, even the very crown and glory He gave me. And if He asks me to fall to the ground and die, in order to take up a better resurrection, it will not be an issue because my soul would have been detached from those crowns
The only thing I should fear to lose is the Lord Himself. Any other thing can go, no other thing shall I cling to. No other thing will have me, no matter how beautiful the experience that comes with it. Yes the Lord uses His giftings, anointings, and encounters in my life to achieve His purposes and move me closer His heart, but may I also be wise at every point in the journey never to 'marry' the 'rod', never to settle with that which is but a means to an end (INTIMACY).
Elfrida Onuora