Wisdom for Living International

29/03/2026

Marriage is not neutral.
It doesn’t leave your life the same.

Marry right, and your life becomes easier, calmer, more stable.
Marry wrong… and you will feel it every single day.

Because you’re not just choosing a husband or wife—
You’re choosing your daily environment.

You’re choosing your emotional safety.
You’re choosing your source of support… or your source of stress.
You’re choosing the voice you’ll hear every day.

Some people bring peace.
They communicate with respect.
They are considerate.
They are emotionally mature.

Others bring chaos.
Every small issue turns into a fight.
Every conversation becomes tension.
You’re constantly explaining, defending, or apologizing.

Now imagine living like that… every day.

That’s why marriage is not something to rush.
Overlook this at your own risk.

Choosing partner who brings peace, kindness and joy is one of the greatest gifts you can have.

Marriage is a blessing and not a curse. Marriage is good. The people inside marriage determines the outcome.

Tobi I. Adesokan
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies.
[email protected]

07/12/2025

# IS # # #
One of the strongest weapons devil uses is deception. The ever green Book warned, “Take heed that no man / women deceive you” (Matthew 24:4). Deception is dangerous because it does not look like deception. It comes dressed in charm, charisma, and sometimes spirituality.
Wisdom manual says, “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). If Satan can disguise as light, then men and women he uses will not show up with horns, they will appear as perfect matches, quoting Scriptures, even praying in tongues.
Always remember: not every tongue is Holy Ghost fire; some are rehearsed performances. To make the matter worst, speaking in tongues in our churches is like competition. This is why discernment is more important than attraction. The devil knows he cannot stop your destiny, so he packages a counterfeit person to pollute your destiny.
I have seen sisters deceived by brothers who carried big Bibles but empty character. I have also seen brothers fall for sisters because she's active in church but carried Jezebel’s spirit. The body of Christ is full of charisma but lack character.
Deception thrives when emotions blind discernment. This is why you must never judge by appearance. Destiny is deeper than smiles and social media pictures. When Samuel saw Eliab, he concluded, “Surely the LORD’s anointed is before him.” But God replied, “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature… for the LORD seeth not as man seeth” (1 Samuel 16:6–7). If Samuel, a prophet, could almost miss it, how much more you without discernment?
Satan’s strategy is consistent: if he cannot stop you, he will deceive you. If he cannot block your journey, he will send a counterfeit person to travel with you. You need to sharpen your discernment. It is your responsibility and not God's responsibility to do that.
To choose who to marry, you need more than attraction. Beauty will fade away. That tall and handsome guy may not help your destiny because marriage is deeper than beauty and handsomeness. Your destiny is at stake if the only reason you are going into relationship is because of attraction.
TOBI I. ADESOKAN
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destiny
[email protected]

01/10/2025

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Marriage is not a fairy tale, it is a living, breathing covenant between two imperfect people. No matter how loving, spiritual, or emotionally mature you and your spouse may be, there will be moments of offense, misunderstanding, and hurt.

These moments are not evidence of a broken marriage; rather, they are opportunities for growth and deeper connection. What matters is not that offense happens, but how you both choose to handle it.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is always necessary. Holding on to bitterness poisons the heart and weakens the bond between you. Forgiveness is not about excusing wrongs, it is about releasing pain for your own peace. Marriage demands that we practice mercy again and again. If you cannot forgive or show mercy, you are not ready for marriage.

The Wisdom of Tolerance

Tolerance means accepting that your spouse will not always meet your expectations. They may forget, disappoint, frustrate, or fail to understand you. But instead of concluding that the marriage is a mistake, ask: What if this is an opportunity for better communication, deeper love, and intentional growth?

Many marriages are not destroyed by infidelity or abuse but by pride, unforgiveness, and overreaction to offense. Every small misunderstanding is treated as a crisis, and every offense becomes permanent. To thrive, you must separate a moment of weakness from the entire worth of your partner.

The Call to Intentionality

A strong marriage does not happen by accident. You must be deliberate in your words, reactions, and even your silence. Address mistakes with wisdom, not with emotional explosions. A strong marriage is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of mature resolution.

Too many couples give up just when things are about to get better. Offense is part of the package but so is resilience.

See Your Spouse as Human

Offense sometimes arises not because your spouse is cruel, but because they are human just like you. Don’t expect perfection; expect progress. Make room for correction and leave space for reconciliation.

Choose your battles wisely. Not everything requires a war. Some issues need a calm conversation, a pause for reflection, or even silence and prayer. Often, what you don’t say in anger saves your marriage more than what you shout in frustration.

The Real Enemy

Always remember: your spouse is not the enemy. The real enemies are unresolved offenses, grudges, bitterness, and pride. When you choose love over ego and forgiveness over revenge, your marriage becomes unbreakable.

Final Word

Let forgiveness be a lifestyle, not a last resort. That is how love lasts. That is how marriages endure.

TOBI I. ADESOKAN
Intimacy | Leadership | Transformation
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
[email protected]

17/06/2025

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13/06/2025

10/06/2025

Sometimes ago, someone asked me, "how do you know if a marriage is successful?". I replied, " there is no duration for successful marriage". We can only have blissful marriages.

At times, blissful marriages are not devoid of misunderstanding, lack, offences, debt, forgiveness, lies, arguments and so on.

The reason is that, everyone is a Work-in- Progress before God. Everyone will continue to work on their marriages till death separates them. There are no couples that can boast of reaching marital peak.

Challenges are part of blissful marriages. There is no marriage standing today that is challenge- free. If you are to move closer to some marriages or couples, you will find faults because the institution called marriage is driven by imperfect husbands and wives.

Don't be deceived by physical appearances of couples at times. Real marriage does not exist on social media, social gatherings, churches ---- . Real marriage exists between husband and wife at home.

For instance, I have seen marriages of two, five, ten, fifteen years old that collapsed. Recently, I heard of thirty-five years old marriage that experience divorce.

If your marriage is still standing, the mercy of God is preserving it. In addition, you are applying few principles or ingredients for it to work. The mercy of God is the supernatural while the ingredients are the naturals.

You have to combine the two (mercy of God and principles or ingredients) together for your marriage to work. Don't forget, marriage is hard work, couples need to work it out.

I will discuss three ingredients for a blissful marriage below;

1. Peace

There are lots of wonderful messages flying around. Messages like men love peace. You must understand that there is nothing like men love peace.

Everybody loves peace. Psalms 29:11b says, "the Lord will bless his people with peace". Peace is a relational skill. Peace is a relational need, not a gender need.

If couples can allow peace in their marriages, a lot of marital stress will be over. Couples should learn to accept their differences and not to have unreasonable expectations of their spouses.

2. Honour / Respect

There is nothing like men love to be honoured. Every human being wants to be honoured and needs to be respected.

Romans 12:10b says, "honour one another". Peace and honour are fundamental human needs. They are not gender needs.

Any home where there is no honour, abuses, lies, lack of trust, infidelity --- will take place. You don't really need money to honour your spouse. Appreciate his/her values and personalities.

My advise to the unmarried, before you go into marriage, have it in mind that you can never change a person who have different values from yours. Only God does.

3. Intimacy

After your intimacy with the Holy Spirit, your intimacy with your spouse is the most important in your life because God has designed both of you to become one.

I have heard of cases where couples starved each other for intimacy. Some couples no longer have s*x anymore. Nobody has never died because of not having s*x but many marriages have died because of not having s*x.

You are programming your marriage for infidelity if s*x is rare in your marriage. If care is not taken, devil will creep in.

TOBI I. ADESOKAN
Intimacy, | Leadership | Transformation
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
[email protected]

03/05/2025

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Mistakes are part of life. At times, they are inevitable. Mistakes can either be minor or major. Some mistakes can be corrected while some are irreversible in life. Once committed, you carry the scar(s) for life.

There are some mistakes that the effects are not enormous while the consequences of some mistakes can be forever. They will teach you life lessons even to next generations.

However, there are some mistakes someone can avoid in life through the wisdom of God. Such mistakes are in the area of choosing a life partner.

With my little experience, I observed that some young people don't see choosing life partner as big deal. The belief is that once they see their spec, someone who speaks good English, works in reputable organizations, tall and so on can be their partner for life.

Unfortunately, marriage is more than that. The mistake some ladies make is that they rush into marriage to choose a guy who will meet their emotional needs.

Meanwhile, life generally is beyond emotional satisfaction. If emotion is the driver of your destiny, accident is inevitable.

Wisdom manual says, " for as many that are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God (Romans 8:14)". He did not say, " for as many led by their emotions".

I will be discussing four common mistakes some ladies make in choosing life partners.

1. Fine / Nice man.

Physical attraction is good when considering who to marry. However, this should not be your major priority in choosing who to marry.

Marrying a tall or short man doesn't guarantee marital success because a tall man can be wicked, unforgiving, stingy ------.

I will rather advise you marry a "faithful man" instead of tall man. A faithful man won't cheat on you. He won't hide is phone password from you, he won't be bringing different women to your matrimonial bed-----.

A FAITHFUL MAN IS RARE TO FIND BUT A TALL / NICE MAN IS EASIER TO FIND.

2. Rich man.

Because of financial security, many ladies who lack self esteem have reduced their lives to marrying rich men. Money is good. It simplifies life.

Anyone can make money in respective of their gender. If your focus as a lady is to marry a rich man, you may end up marrying a fraudster, armed robber, kidnapper, ritualist and so on.

Instead of looking for a man to give you money, you can also make your own money legally. I always tell ladies, "one of the securities for any woman is to own her own source of income".

Instead of looking for rich man to marry, I will advise you marry a kind man. You can marry a rich man and be frustrated, unhappy, experience domestic violence ----- At times, rich men can be wicked, unforgiving, humanizing ---

3. Tall man

I have never seen anyone celebrating 40th wedding anniversary and saying that the secret to my marital bliss is because I marry a tall man.

One of the wrong mindset an average young lady has is marrying a tall man. I don't know where that mindset comes from. The word "tall" is a relative word because a short man in Nigeria is a tall man in Japan, China or South Korea.

Instead of looking for a tall man, I will advise you look for a tolerance man. A man who can tolerate your excesses, weakness, shortcomings ------.

A tall man may not be wise, intelligent, diligent, vision possessing, God fearing, prudent, abusive ------.

4. Someone who goes to church

Someone said, church is like an hospital. Some people are responding to treatment while some are not. Some people are in coma hoping they will come back to life.

So, you don't choose someone because they go to church or because they are active in church. It is wrong to marry someone because he's ordained in the church. A brother can be in four to five departments in church, speaking in tongues in baritone voice, quoting scriptures yet he does not know God. He's just full of church activities.

Unfortunately, we have armed robbers (men) who donates money in millions in different churches, men dating different girls within the same church and impregnated them.

I will advise you marry someone who possesses Christ's like characters - a man that Christ has been formed in him.

Galatians 4:19 says, " my little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you".

The man who knows the Person and the principles of Christ should be desired to marry and not just someone who goes to church. Today's church is like a market where people come to buy and sell.

In conclusion, one of the greatest power God has given to everyone is the power of choice. If you are choosing who to marry, allow the Scripture to guide you. Be careful who you marry,. The biggest prison is a home without peace.

TOBI I. ADESOKAN
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
Intimacy | Leadership | Transformation.
[email protected]

31/03/2025

Advise to Women

S*x is easy to get in this generation. To find true love is hard because wickedness is real. Money is even more difficult to come by except you steal or defraud people.

Therefore, if you are a woman and your husband gives you all three, it is advisable you better make your home a sanctuary of peace, love and an oasis of relaxation for him.

The truth is that, a man like your husband is another woman's prayer point with fasting.

Don't allow your attitude and behaviour to turn him into the answer of their prayers and fasting. If you keep tossing him around like a football, one woman may eventually catch him like a goalkeeper.

Advise to Men

S*x is easy to get. You can get that from prostitutes. Unconditional love is hard to find. To be financially buoyant is really challenging. Many combine multiple jobs to pay their bills.

Many women are like men. They carry the responsibilities attributed to men.

So, if you are a man and your wife gives you all the three, my friend, you better make your home conducive and peaceful for your wife and family.

Because, a woman like your wife is another man's prayer request.

Don't allow your ego to turn your helpmeet into the answer to their prayers.

If you keep treating her like slaves and maids, one man may eventually admire the great potentials in her and honor her.

In conclusion, marriage is an institution where you learn, unlearn and relearn. Marriage is not instituted to put anyone in bo***ge but to be a blessing.

There is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect human beings. So, focus on your spouse's strength and not his or her weakness. Every marriage can be blissful provided both couples can be a blessing to each other.

.
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
Intimacy | Leadership | Transformation
[email protected]

14/02/2025

*X

S*x is good. It is what every unmarried people are looking for. God created s*x between a man and a woman for different reasons. One of the reasons is for intimacy.

Abstinence from premarital s*x is the will of God for every unmarried man and woman. It is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid fornication and s*xual immorality ( 1 Thessalonians 4:3)

Unfortunately, premarital s*x is a norm in our society. Almost every young people involved in it. Even, the so-called the "light of the world" are actively involved in it.

The Creator established s*x between husband and wife. There is no good side to premarital s*x. Except loss of virtue, transferring of spirit, contacting HIV and other related transmitted diseases.

Research has shown that having multiple s*x partners cause cervical cancer. If you really love yourself, it is wise to abstain from premarital s*x.

Globally, valentine is celebrated today. Many people will choose to wear red clothes today inorder to demonstrate love and honor the day. If valentine means love, it should be expressed daily and not occasionally.

Your virginity is not a valentine gift to anyone. It is a gift you present to your spouse after your wedding. Whether you are a man or a woman, your virginity is important to God, yourself and spouse.

Don't be too cheap for anyone inorder to celebrate valentine. Today and this weekend will be used to celebrate s*xual immorality. Abstain from it, there is no gain in it.

You may cry for it after many years of loosing your virginity. Virginity once lost can never be stored. Don't be like Esau who lost his birthright because of food. He regretted his action later by crying for it but he couldn't get it back.

The good side of valentine is exchange of gift and not your body. Your body belongs to God. Therefore, honor God with your body.

, and

I.
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
Intimacy, Leadership and Transformation
[email protected]

20/01/2025

12 .

Before entering into marriage, intending couples must be intentional, strategic and committedly discuss vital areas of their marital journey.

Marriage needs adequate preparation. If not, when expectations are not met, couples are surprised and discouraged. Some even go into depression.

You know you prepare adequately for marital bliss based on the outcomes of your marital experience(s). There is no accidental success in life. This also applies to marriage.

Therefore, before having unsatisfactory experience(s), the need to discuss vital truth is important.

I have discussed few things in part one and two. Here are the concluding parts to discuss:

9. Family Dynamics :

Marriage is a family affair. This is why intending couples need to discuss their relationship with their families. How involved you expect them to be? What are the boundaries you want in your home from both family members?

Do you want your extended family members to live with you? Will you accommodate their impromptu visitation to your home without informing both of you, will you allow your parents to sleep on your matrimonial bed when they come for visit especially those living in one or two rooms?

Will you share your gadgets, electronics and kitchen with family members? If there are any potential conflicts, how do you want them to be resolved? Will you take them to your family members to resolve them for you?

10 . Children and Parenting:

If you plan to have children, it’s important to discuss your desires, parenting styles, and the number of children you envision having. This includes discussions on education, discipline, spiritual activities and family planning.

Parenting in the 21st century is challenging. You need to discuss values and beliefs you want your child(ren) to emulate and the strategies to adopt.

11. Finances and Financial Management:

Discuss your approach to money management. Whether you believe in joint accounts, saving for the future, investment, borrowing money to meet your needs, how to raise capital and your financial habits.

Financial compatibility is critical in any long-term relationship.
Finance is one of the pillars to a blissful marriage. Having deep conversations around this area is critical.

12. Health and Lifestyle:

Health is wealth. Discuss your health habits e.g. exercise, diet, mental health, any medical conditions, and how you both prioritize well-being. This can influence the quality of your life and how you support each other.

Both of you need to discuss unforseen health challenges and how you intend to deal with it. The quality of your health will determine whether both of you will become a liability or asset to one another.

Having discussed these salient matters early in any relationship allows both individuals to examine and assess whether you share common ground and to make informed decisions about moving forward with your marriage.

, and

TOBI I. ADESOKAN
Raising Kingdom Leader's with Great Destinies
Intimacy, Leadership and Transformation
[email protected]