10/05/2026
Wisdom for Living
May 10, 2026
Minister: Pastor Humphrey
Topic: The Consequences of Unforgiveness and The Benefits of Forgiveness
Teacher: Pst Humphrey Ibifubara
Last week, we started a conversation about unforgeiveness. Today we move to the root causes of unforgiveness- pain, betrayal and injustice.
Imagine you joined an ajo program and one person decided to abscond with the money. You'd naturally begin to hate the thief and the name called ajo, which leads to bitterness or resentment. If the thoughts of the person crosses your mind, you'd feel resentful towards that person.
Or, another case where the family of the deceased decides to strip the widow off the wealth of her late husband. It's another case of resentment and hatred due to injustice.
Sometimes unforgiveness could come from a place of pride and self preservation. When peoole use words like, "you don't deserve my forgiveness", it makes them appear as weaklings for forgiving a sin.
Imagine someone disrespects you openly, but chooses to apologise in secret? What will be your reaction? Perhaps, they should maintain the same energy when they want to apologise. Right?
But this could be a form of pride or self-presevation.
Unforgiveness is often caused by what we repeatedly think about. Every replay deepens the emotional wound that we have suffered.
The fear of being hurt again is another trigger that breeds unforgiveness. This kind of mindset will make thr person generalise. You stay away from people unconsciously because you don't want to be betrayed again.
Cost of unforgiveness
1. We feel justified but it's never free.
2. Poisons our inner life.
3. Makes bitterness to take root.
4. Small things trigger big reaction.
Bitterness doesn't not stay in one area. It spreads and often, we call it transferred aggression.
Unforgiveness affects our connection with God. It hardens our heart and hinders our spiritual growth.
Unforgiveness leads to relationship damage. You either become, guided, too careful, withdrawn or suspicious. There's a difference between being suspicious and being discerning.
Some sicknesses are linked to unforgiveness.
Next week, we'd look at forgiveness and reconciliation.
See you in church next Sunday.
Courtesy: The Writers' Club
