http://www.education-marriagecounseling.blogspot.com/

Humphrey-Mariae Omizegba, 1 Olatilewa Str, Lagos (2026)

31/10/2024

Overcoming Infidelity: A Path to Healing and Rebuilding

Introduction

Infidelity is a painful and traumatic experience that can shake the foundation of any marriage. However, with effort, commitment, and a willingness to heal, couples can overcome infidelity and rebuild their relationship.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity can take many forms, including:

1. Emotional Affairs: Developing an emotional connection with someone outside the primary relationship, often characterised by intimacy, secrecy, and emotional investment.

2. Physical Affairs: Engaging in sexual or physical intimacy with someone outside the primary relationship.

3. Online Infidelity: Engaging in online relationships, flirting, or sexual activities with others, often through social media, dating sites, or messaging apps.

4. Objectified Infidelity: Addiction to po*******hy, strip clubs, or other forms of objectified sexuality.

Infidelity is often a symptom of deeper issues, such as:

- Unhappiness in the relationship
- Unmet emotional needs
- Lack of intimacy
- Personal struggles (e.g., low self-esteem, addiction)
- Communication breakdown
- Unrealistic expectations
- Past traumas or unresolved conflicts

The Healing Process

Healing from infidelity requires a journey of self-reflection, communication, and rebuilding. Here are some steps to consider:

For the Betrayed Partner:

1. Allow yourself to grieve (Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…”)

2. Seek support (Proverbs 11:14, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls…”)

3. Communicate your needs (Ephesians 4:15, “Speaking the truth in love…”)

4. Set boundaries (Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go…”)

For the Unfaithful Partner:

1. Take responsibility (1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins…”)

2. Seek counselling (Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel plans go awry…”)

3. Be transparent (John 8:32, “The truth will set you free…”)

4. Demonstrate commitment (1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love bears all things, believes all things…”)

Rebuilding Together:

1. Reestablish Trust:

- Be consistent and reliable
- Communicate openly and honestly
- Follow through on commitments
- Show empathy and understanding

2. Foster Intimacy:

- Schedule regular date nights
- Practice emotional vulnerability
- Engage in physical affection
- Cultivate shared interests

3. Address Underlying Issues:

- Identify and resolve conflicts
- Develop healthy communication patterns
- Meet each other’s emotional needs
- Seek counselling or therapy

4. Cultivate Empathy:

- Practice active listening
- Show understanding and compassion
- Validate each other’s feelings
- Develop emotional intelligence

Challenges and Considerations

1. Forgiveness (Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive men their trespasses…”)

2. Trust rebuilding (Proverbs 10:9, “Whoever walks uprightly shall be safe…”)

3. Healing timelines (Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night…”)

4. Professional help (Proverbs 24:6, “For by wise guidance you can wage your war…”)

Scriptural References for Healing:

- Psalm 51:1-12 (David’s repentance)
- Hosea 3:1-5 (God’s love and redemption)
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 (The love chapter)
- Ephesians 5:22-33 (Marital love and submission)

Recommended Resources:

1. “Surviving an Affair” by Willard F. Harley Jr.
2. “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller
3. “His Needs, Her Needs” by Willard F. Harley Jr.
4. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman

Conclusion

Overcoming infidelity is a difficult and delicate journey. However, with commitment, effort, and a willingness to heal, couples can rebuild their relationship and emerge stronger.

Prayer

“Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you with broken hearts, seeking healing and restoration. Help us to forgive, to rebuild trust, and to cultivate a deeper love for each other. Amen.”

17/10/2024

The Importance of Self-Care in Marriage Relationships

Introduction

Marriage is a beautiful sacrament, symbolising Christ's love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25-33). However, maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship requires effort from both partners. Self-care, often overlooked, plays a vital role in nurturing a strong and loving marriage. This article explores the significance of self-care in marriage relationships.

Understanding Self-Care

Self-care encompasses intentional actions taken to preserve and enhance one's physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1992, para. 364). It involves recognising and meeting individual needs, allowing individuals to love and serve others more effectively.

Why Self-Care Matters in Marriage

1. Personal Growth: Self-care fosters personal growth, enabling individuals to become better versions of themselves (Proverbs 27:17). This, in turn, enhances their contribution to the marriage.

2. Emotional Intelligence: Practising self-care develops emotional intelligence, crucial for effective communication, conflict resolution, and empathy in marriage (Ephesians 4:29-32).

3. Reduced Stress: Self-care mitigates stress, preventing its negative impact on relationships (Matthew 11:28-30).

4. Increased Intimacy: By prioritising self-care, individuals become more present and engaged in their relationship, fostering deeper intimacy (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

5. Mutual Support: Self-care encourages mutual support, as partners recognise and respect each other's needs (Galatians 6:2).

6. Healthy Boundaries: Self-care helps establish healthy boundaries, protecting individual identities and preventing codependency.

7. Role Modelling: Practising self-care sets a positive example for children, teaching them the importance of self-love and care.

8. Spiritual Growth: Self-care facilitates spiritual growth, deepening one's relationship with God and enhancing prayer life.

Practical Self-Care Strategies for Couples

1. Schedule Personal Time: Regularly allocate time for individual pursuits and relaxation.

2. Communicate Openly: Share self-care needs and desires with your partner.

3. Prioritise Shared Activities: Engage in activities promoting mutual growth and bonding.

4. Seek Support Networks: Nurture relationships with family, friends, and community.

5. Practice Forgiveness: Release grudges and forgive oneself and others (Matthew 6:14-15).

Magisterial Guidance

The Catholic Church emphasises the importance of self-care through:

1. *Human Dignity*: The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1992, para. 364) states, "The human body shares in the dignity of the image of God." This underscores the value of caring for one's physical and emotional well-being.

2. *Love and Care*: Pope Francis' Amoris Laetitia (2016, para. 157) highlights, "Love is not merely a feeling, but a decision to take care of one another." Self-care enables couples to better care for each other.

3. *Family as Community*: St. John Paul II's Familiaris Consortio (1981, para. 66) emphasizes, "The family is a community of love and solidarity." Self-care strengthens this community by fostering individual well-being.

4. *Vocation to Love*: The Vatican II document Gaudium et Spes (1965, para. 24) reminds us, "Man, being the only creature created by God for its own sake, finds himself at the centre of the divine plan." Self-care helps individuals fulfill their vocation to love.

Conclusion

Self-care is not selfish; it's essential for building strong, loving marriages. By prioritising individual well-being and embracing self-care strategies, couples can cultivate healthier relationships, reflecting God's love and care for humanity.

References:

- The Holy Bible (KJV)
- Catechism of the Catholic Church (1992)
- Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia (2016)
- St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio (1981)
- Vatican II, Gaudium et Spes (1965)

09/10/2024

The Power of Emotional Intimacy: Nurturing Deep Connection

In the realm of relationships, emotional intimacy is the unseen thread that weaves two souls together. It is the foundation upon which trust, vulnerability and deep connection are built. Emotional intimacy is the sacred space where hearts beat as one, where love resonates deeply and where relationships flourish.

The Essence of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is often misunderstood as merely a physical or sexual connection. However, it is far more profound. It is the capacity to share your innermost thoughts, desires and fears with your partner, knowing you will be met with empathy, understanding and acceptance. Emotional intimacy is:

- Being seen, heard and validated
- Feeling safe to express yourself authentically
- Being vulnerable without fear of judgement
- Experiencing deep emotional resonance with your partner

The Barriers to Emotional Intimacy

Despite its importance, emotional intimacy can be elusive. Common barriers include:

- Fear of rejection or abandonment
- Past trauma or emotional scars
- Shame or self-doubt
- Communication breakdowns or conflict avoidance
- Emotional unavailability or numbness
Breaking Down Barriers

To overcome these obstacles, consider:

- Practising self-reflection and self-awareness
- Engaging in open, honest communication
- Embracing vulnerability and taking emotional risks
- Cultivating empathy and active listening
- Seeking professional help when needed
Nurturing Emotional Intimacy

To deepen your emotional connection, try:

- Scheduling regular, distraction-free conversations
- Engaging in shared activities that foster connection (e.g. cooking, hiking)
- Practising emotional validation and empathy
- Showing appreciation and gratitude
- Embracing conflicts as opportunities for growth

The Transformative Power of Emotional Intimacy

When nurtured, emotional intimacy:

- Fosters unconditional love and acceptance
- Encourages personal growth and self-awareness
- Strengthens resilience and conflict resolution
- Creates a sense of belonging and unity
- Transforms relationships into sacred, life-enriching experiences

A Call to Action

Emotional intimacy requires effort, commitment and vulnerability. As you embark on this journey, remember:

- Emotional intimacy is a muscle that must be exercised
- Vulnerability is strength, not weakness
- Connection is a choice, not a coincidence

By prioritising emotional intimacy, you will unlock the secrets to a deeply fulfilling, long-lasting connection. Embrace the power of emotional intimacy and watch your relationship blossom into a beautiful, life-affirming journey.

26/09/2024

Day 4:

Faith and Reason

Hey everyone! Day 4 of our exploration of Catholic teaching, and today we’re diving into faith and reason.

Did you know Catholicism sees them as partners, not rivals? Both are gifts from God to help us understand His creation and His word. What are your thoughts on faith and reason working together?

Reason:

Reason helps us make sense of the world around us - from logic to ethics, it even points us towards a Creator!

But some things are beyond our human understanding, right? That’s where faith comes in. It builds on reason and allows us to embrace truths revealed by God, like the Trinity.

Harmony, Not Conflict

Faith and reason work together! Reason helps us understand revealed truths, while faith illuminates our understanding of the world.

St. Thomas Aquinas

This great saint championed the harmony of faith and reason. He showed how reason points to God and faith completes our knowledge.
Vatican II

The Church continues to affirm the importance of both! Vatican II emphasised the need for dialogue between faith and modern science.

Seeking Truth Together

Faith without reason can become blind, and reason without faith can become lost. Together, they lead us to the fullness of truth!

Examples in History

Think of the great Catholic universities! They were founded on the belief that faith and reason work together to advance knowledge.

Challenges and Dialogue

Sometimes, faith and reason seem at odds. But through open dialogue and humble inquiry, we can bridge these gaps.

A Lifelong Journey

Exploring faith and reason is a lifelong adventure! Let's continue to seek truth with both our hearts and minds.

What questions do YOU have about faith and reason? Share your thoughts! Let's learn from each other. .

11/09/2024

If God is three persons and we are image of God, are we three persons as well? Please show your reasoning using scriptures.

This is an intriguing question! From a Catholic theological perspective, let's delve into this. The doctrine of the Trinity states God is one essence in three distinct persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19, 2 Corinthians 13:14). We are created in God's image (imago Dei) (Genesis 1:26-27), but this doesn't mean we are three persons.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) explains: "The divine image is present in every man... It is the basis of the dignity of the human person" (CCC 1700). Our likeness to God lies in our rational nature, free will, and capacity for love, not in being three persons. Scripture highlights our unity as individuals: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh" (Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:8). Paul writes, "You are one body and one spirit" (Ephesians 4:4).

The Catholic Church teaches we are composite beings, consisting of body and soul (CCC 365), but this duality doesn't equate to being three persons. When referencing Ephesians 4:4 ("one body and one spirit") in the context of imago Dei, I highlight the unity of human nature, created in God's image. In this sense, "one body" emphasizes the integral unity of the human person, comprising both material (body) and immaterial (soul) aspects. This unity reflects God's own unity and simplicity.

The phrase "one spirit" references the spiritual dimension of human nature, created to commune with God and share in His divine life. In the context of imago Dei, Ephesians 4:4 suggests our unity as human persons, comprising body and soul, reflects God's own unity and simplicity. This unity is a fundamental aspect of our creation in God's image.

God is One essence in Three Persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), a mystery of unity and diversity. In contrast, human beings are a unity in duality, comprising two fundamental aspects:

1. Material body (physical, corporeal)
2. Spiritual soul (immaterial, incorporeal)

This duality is not a separation but an integral union, forming a single, whole human person. The soul animates the body, and the body is the soul's physical expression. While God's nature is Trinitarian, human nature is dualistic, with a fundamental distinction between body and soul. This duality reflects God's creative design, making humans unique and capable of communion with Him.

In conclusion, while God's nature is Trinitarian, human nature is a unity in duality, comprising body and soul. This fundamental distinction reflects God's creative design, making humans unique and capable of communion with Him. Our likeness to God lies in our rational nature, free will, and capacity for love, not in being three persons. This understanding underscores the beauty and complexity of human nature, created in the image of God.

I hope this helps your understanding.

24/08/2024

How Does the Catholic Church Determine the Truth of the Bible?

Dear friend, thank you for this excellent question. In the Catholic Church, we take Scripture seriously, but to determine the truth of Scripture, we follow key principles:

1. Divine Revelation: Catholics believe Jesus, not just the Bible, is the fullness of divine revelation. Scripture and Tradition together convey God's truth, with Jesus at the centre.

2. Scripture and Tradition: We don't prioritise Tradition over Scripture, but rather see them as complementary. Apostolic Tradition, guided by the Holy Spirit, ensures the faithful transmission of God's Word.

3. Church Authority: The authority of the Bible rests on the Church. We use the Bible to prove the Church, not vice versa. The Gospels show that Christ founded a Church, and their inspired authority comes from the Church's word. As St. Paul writes, the Church being the pillar and support of the truth (1 Timothy 3:15), the Church has the prerogative of being the authentic interpreter of Scripture. This means that Scripture does not have authority over itself, but rather the Church has authority to interpret Scripture in a way consistent with Tradition. When the Church interprets Scripture in this manner, she is not adding to or altering the meaning of Scripture, but rather uncovering its authentic meaning in harmony with the apostolic faith.

1. Magisterium: The Church's teaching authority (Magisterium) ensures a faithful understanding and application of biblical truths, drawing from Scripture, Tradition, and the teachings of the early Church Fathers.
Biblical Foundations:

The Catholic Church's approach to determining the truth of Scripture is rooted in biblical teachings. Key passages include:

- 2 Peter 3:16: some things hard to understand (acknowledging the need for guidance in interpreting Scripture)

- Matthew 16:3: read the signs of the times (highlighting the importance of discernment and context in understanding Scripture)

Reading the Signs of the Times:

The Church not only interprets Scripture in light of Tradition but also applies it to modern challenges, serving Scripture faithfully by making it relevant to the Christian faithful in accordance with the mind of Christ. For instance:

- Abortion: The Church has consistently taught that human life is sacred, referencing Exodus 20:13 and Psalm 139:13-14 to emphasise the value of unborn life.

- Same-sex relationships: The Church has referenced Matthew 19:3-6 and Galatians 3:28 to emphasise respecting individual dignity while upholding traditional marriage.

By reading the signs of the times, the Church ensures that Scripture remains a living and relevant guide for modern believers.

Determining the Truth of Scripture – the Catholic Perspective

To determine the truth of Scripture, the Catholic Church employs a multifaceted approach:

1. Historical-critical analysis: Examining the text's historical context, authorship, and literary genre.

2. Tradition and patristics: Consulting the teachings of the early Church Fathers and Tradition to ensure continuity with the apostolic faith.

3. Linguistic analysis: Considering the original Greek or Hebrew language to ensure accurate interpretation.

4. Magisterial guidance: Consulting the teachings of the Magisterium and Church Councils to ensure unity and consistency.

5. Prayerful discernment: Seeking guidance from the Holy Spirit through prayer and discernment.

6. Synthesis: Integrating these elements to form a comprehensive understanding of the Scripture's truth.

By embracing this holistic approach, the Catholic Church ensures a faithful and accurate understanding of Scripture, guided by the Holy Spirit and rooted in the apostolic faith.

I sincerely pray that the Holy Spirit come to you to enlighten your mind. Amen!

08/06/2024

*Why is there no verse found in God's Word that a believer can lose or break fellowship or relationship with God?*

Dear Haddisah, thanks for this very important question. And I truly appreciate the fact that you specifically asked me to answer the question perhaps because you have read my previous answers.

As for your question, while the Bible teaches that our actions can grieve God and disrupt our fellowship with Him ( *_Ephesians 4:30, 1Thessalonians 5:19_* ), there is truly no verse that suggests a believer can completely lose or break their relationship with God.

This is mainly because God's relationship with His children is based on His unconditional love, grace, and covenant promises, not solely on our performance or works ( *_Romans 8:35-39, Hebrews 6:16-20*_ ). Once we have placed our faith in Jesus Christ, we are securely in God's family.

*_John 1:12*_ puts it this way: *_Some, however, did receive Him and believed in Him; so He gave them the right to become God’s children_* . In *_1 John 3:1-2_* Apostle John further reiterated the point: *_See how much the Father has loved us! His love is so great that we are called God’s children – and , in fact we are_* .

The point is that sonship is never truly lost but it might be strained as it was with the biblical prodigal son.

As God’s sons and daughters, through faith in Christ Jesus, it is not God’s desire that anyone be cut off from that sonship/daughtership but however, our fellowship with God can be affected by sin and disobedience, which can lead to a sense of distance or disconnection. The Prophet Isaiah captures that saying: _**It is because of your sins that he doesn’t hear you. It is your sins that separate you from God when you try to worship Him*_* .( *_Isaiah 59:2_* ), cf. also *_1 John 1:6-7_* .

But even in those times, God remains faithful and desires our return to Him ( *_Luke 15:11-32_* ) tells us of the Father’s yearning desire to receive back the prodigal or lost son with open arms. The great Evangelist puts it succinctly that: *_If we confess our sins to God, He will keep His promise and so what is right: He will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing_* ( *_1 John 1:9_* ).

So, while our fellowship with God can be impacted, our relationship as His children remains secure in His love and grace. A loving father never creates the opportunity or occasion for breaking or losing fellowship with his children and God is far better than the best of our earthly Fathers so He couldn’t make such a provision.

May you thrive in your union with God our beloved Father through Christ.

10/05/2024

Dear enquirer, the answer to the above question depends on different sources of our faith but I am going to answer from a purely Catholic perspective. Although not the only available perspective, yet it's a very certain and true perspective.
From the Catholic perspective, the concept of ***original sin ***is intimately connected to the innocence of children and their capacity for sin later in life.
According to the Catholic Church, ***original sin ***is not a personal fault of the child but rather, a hereditary condition passed down from our first parents -Adam and Eve — the first humans, due to their first sin. In this case, ***original sin ***may be seen to mean:
* The sin that Adam committed.
* The consequence of the first sin or the original stain with which we are born since we are descendants of Adam and Eve.
Apostle Paul was succinct in saying that: ***Sin came into the world through one man, (Adam) and his (Adam's) sin brought death with it. (ROM.5:12)***
The Catholic Church teaches the original sin is a state into which all human beings are born, and it is not due to any personal fault hence, original sin is a ***deprivation of original holiness and justice, and it's this state that makes humans inclined to sin, which we call concupiscence.***
Although children are born innocent, in the sense that they are born without any personal sin, yet since they are a member of the human race and are of the stock of Adam the inclination to or bent to sin (concupiscence) is still with them.
To put it another way, ***while children are born with original sin (concupiscence) they are born without any personal guilt or sin.***
But why then do we baptise infants?
**Reason**
The reason why we baptise infants is simple and clear
* It is Catholic belief that baptism cleanses from both ***original sin ***and **actual sin. **Even though actual sin is absent in children, the stain or taint of original sin must be removed.
* Since original sin is a bentto concupiscence and sin, they need the grace to resist sin and grow in the virtues a condition made possible by baptism.
When Apostle Paul spoke about the adamic sin and it's consequences he used the phrase ***All men died… (ROM.5: 15) ***infants and children are a part of this fallen **All men ***and are not exempt from it.*
It is important to note that the word ***sin ***in ***original sin ***is only used in an analogous sense. Many people do not seem to realise this and think that weean it in the sense of the personal sin. To be clear, the Church says, ***Original sin is called 'sin' only in an analogical sense: it is a sin 'contracted' and not 'committed’ — a state and not an act (CCC 404).***
The Church is not saying that infants are not fundamentally ***innocent ***— they are in so far as they do not yet know of a personal sin. What the Church is saying is ***yes, they ‘committed’ no sin but yet they, by virtue of their being humans in the race of Adam, they 'contracted' the original sin.***
It is scriptural that by the ***sin of one man (Adam) All men died and it is by the grace of the one Man (Jesus) that all men are saved (Romans 5: 15–16 cf). ***The way the Church unites all persons to that grace provided by Christ Jesus is via the way of baptism the sacrament which cleanses us from all sins (original and actual) making us Christian's and translating us into members of God's kingdom.
I hope this helps your quest dear. God bless you richly.

19/04/2024

Who Called Mary "Mother of God" at the Council of Ephesus?

The Council of Ephesus (431AD) was the Council in which the title "Mother of God" ("Theotokos") was solemnly confirmed as a truth of the Church's faith.

The first person to use this title of "Mother of God" at the Council was St Cyril of Alexandria (He was the Patriarch of Alexandria).

At the Council of Ephesus, St Cyril argued forcefully that since Jesus Christ was both fully divine and fully human, the Virgin Mary, who gave birth to Him, could fittingly and rightly be called "Theotokos" ("Mother of God"). That way, the unity of Christ's divine and human natures were affirmed in opposition to the teachings of Nestorius (nestorianism) who claimed that Mary should only be called "Christotokus" ("Mother of Christ"), as he did not recognise the divine nature of Jesus to be inseparable from His human nature.

17/04/2024

How Come Jesus Died on Friday and Rose on Sunday? That's not Three Day and Nights.

Dear friend, the passage which seems to cause you doubt is found in the Gospel of Mt. 12:40: ***For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the sea monster (whale), so for three days and three nights the Son of Man will be in the heart of the earth***.

If you take that scripture literally, Jesus was supposed to stay in the grave for 72 hours before rising to make it a complete three days and three nights but that does not seem to be what happened right?

If Jesus died on Friday by 3 pm and rose by the dawn of Sunday, it implies that He was only in the grave on Saturday alone for a complete day. By the conclusion of the 21st Century man, and as I have read the answers of many here on Quora, the conclusion would be that He couldn’t have died on Friday.

Many, here, posit that He could only have died on Wednesday so that He could have full Thursday, Friday and Saturday to be in the grave and then rise on Sunday. This is also not possible as it would only mean that Jesus rose, not on the third day as He has said but that He rose on the fourth day contrary to the Gospel account of the resurrection. That poses a fresh problem.

Before attempting an answer, let’s look at what scripture says:

***1Cor.15:4*** Apostle Paul wrote: ***… and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures***.

Apart from ***Mt. 12:40*** the Evangelist later wrote: ***From then onwards, Jesus began to make it clear to His disciples that He was destined to go to Jerusalem and suffer grievously at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes and be put to death and be raised up ‘on the third day'***. So, how do we begin to explain ***Mt. 12:40***? Our first answer is that it is a figurative expression common with the Jews at the time. At that time, the phrase ***three days and three nights*** meant ***long enough time to be definitely dead. ***Here it was not meant to be a literal 72 hours.

In our day too, two phrases stands out. When we say a person ***takes eternity to solve a problem*** it does not mean eternity in the sense of forever but rather, it means an indefinite length of time. Also, a ***lifetime*** is similar to the above used to describe a situation that may never end or take a considerable amount of time rather than a time that will definitely never end.

When Jesus used it, the message He first wished to convey was that He would really die and not that He would be literally dead for 72 hours as modern people expect.

Now, the question is can we conclude from the Bible that Jesus spent three days in the tomb and rose on the third day?

The synoptic Gospels as well as the Johannine Gospel in their chronologies are unanimous in this – Jesus died on Friday and was buried, on the Saturday, He stayed dead in the grave/tomb and the tomb was found to be empty on Sunday. Let’s offer an explanation to this looking at the Bible.

1. Scripture says that Jesus died on ***the day of preparation*** and was buried the same day. So, which day is the ***day of preparation***? Certainly, not Wednesday as some people say. ***Mk. 15:42 ***and ***Lk. 23:54*** mentions it as the day before the Sabbath hence, the day of preparation is the day before the Sabbath.

***John 19:14*** places the Last Supper before the Passover Feast, while as well assigning the crucifixion to the ***day of preparation***.

The day of preparation is the Day before the Sabbath (Shabbat). It falls on Friday (note that the Jews did not name the week as we do today) *Shabbath* (Sabbath – Saturday or the seventh day) was the last day when God rested hence, the day before Saturday is Friday (Day of the Preparation).

Why was it called the day of the preparation?

**Reason**:

Remember that Jesus was accused of healing on the Sabbath Day? Why? The devout Jews were never permitted to do any servile work on the Sabbath. They would not even be expected to cook a meal so, they use the day before the Sabbath to do all the necessary preparations and arrangements, including cooking in anticipation of the Sabbath (please, read ***Exodus 16 ***for greater understanding of this concept).

In ***Exo16:23*** it is written: ***This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘tomorrow is a day of solemn rest, a holy Sabbath to the Lord, bake what you will bake and boil what you will boil, and all that is left over lay by to be kept till morning***. Since Sabbath was Saturday and Jesus died on the ***Preparation Day*** – a day to the Sabbath, He died on a Friday not a Wednesday. To conclude this, He died on Friday and was buried on Friday.

Furthermore, ***Lk. 23:56*** reads that as soon as Jesus was buried, the women ***returned and prepared spices and perfumed oils***. ***Then, they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment***. Verse 54 gives us an insight into why Jesus was buried hurriedly, and the women returned quickly from the burial to prepare spices: ***It was the ******day of preparation*** (Friday), ***and the Sabbath was about to begin***. That means that they did the burial hurriedly so that the Sabbath will not catch up with them. Since they are not permitted to do anything servile on Sabbath (Saturday) they rushed home to prepare spices.

2. It must be noted that for the Jews, the day begins in the evening and ends on the following evening around 6pm. Friday evening was the beginning of the Sabbath day. Jesus was crucified at around 3pm on Friday but He was hurriedly buried and the women went home hurriedly to prepare spices before the Sabbath will catch up with them. They will not work all night as, we will do today, because that will already be the Sabbath Day. The Jewish Day start as around 6pm as against our present day system when the day begins at 12 am. How did we conjecture that? We can see that in the creation narrative in the Book of Genesis, the writer would say: ***there was evening, and there was morning – the first day*** ***(Gen.15)*** see also verses 8, 13, 19 etc. in our era it would have been ***there was morning and there was evening – the first day***.

What we have also to ask is

**What for the Jews is the first day of the week**?

The Gospels says succinctly that the tomb where Jesus was buried on the ***Day of Preparation (Friday) ***was found empty on The First Day of the Week (cf. ***Mt. 28:1***; ***Mk.16:1; Lk. 24:1; Jn.20:1***).

The Matthean text puts it this way: ***Now after the Sabbath, as the first day of the week began to dawn, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb***.

The ***First Day of the Week*** is what we refer to as ***Sunday***.

**How do we conclude that it’s a Three Day**?
Since Jesus died on the ***Day of Preparation*** and the tomb was already empty on the ***First Day of the Week***, is it possible for us to say this is a ***Three Day ***period spent in the grave?

It sounds difficult and absurd for the modern readers of scripture because of our calendar system. Let’s explain this by an analogy. For us in the modern era, a child born in say June is a year older by the following year June. For instance, if Tom was born on the 23rd of June, 2023, he will only be a year old on the 23rd June, 2024 that is about twelve calendar months. For the Jew, if Tom was born on 23rd June 2023, if the year ends in December 2023, Tom is already a year old and by the 1st of January, he is already in his second year. The same principle apply to days. A child born at 3 pm on Friday is already a day old at 6pm of the same day since at that time another day has begun. The Jews counted part of a day as a whole day. To get the gist, let’s turn to the parable of the Land Owner which Jesus told ***(Mt.20:1-16)***. The Land Owner had agreed to pay the labourers a denarius for a full day’s work, he hired them at different times of the day 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm and 5pm but at the end of the day, He paid each of them a denarius each since they each have worked a full day even though they came at different times of the day.

When Jesus was crucified according to Luke’s narrative at around 3pm (cf. ***Lk.23:44-46***), it implies that the first day of His death was the remaining period of the Day 3pm to sundown (6pm).

The second day of His death began from sundown of Friday and lasted till sundown of Saturday thus He spent the whole day and night of Saturday in the tomb.

The third day began at sundown of Saturday and lasted until sunrise of the first Day of the week (Sunday).

**How did His Disciples interpret this?

**Scripture points out that on the way to Emmaus, on the Day of the Resurrection, His disciples said to Him ***It is now the third day since these things (death, burial and resurrection) happened*** ***(Lk24:21)*** thus indicating that they interpreted the days to be a three day period not four and not less than three. They did not count it in hours to be 72 hours but rather they counted it as days according to the Jewish understanding of the concept of days.

Humphrey-Mariae Omizegba

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