04/04/2026
Marital Doors To Shut When Married
By Pst Anthony Chukwuma Agholor (+2348039558042)
Marriage is often described as *a "garden" that needs a fence* —not to trap you inside, but to protect what you’re growing from outside interference and dangers. Closing certain "doors" isn't about losing freedom; it's about creating a safe space for intimacy to thrive. For marriage to work well.
When we talk about “marital doors to close,” we are referring to those habits, relationships, and attitudes that can give room for conflict, temptation, or emotional distance in a marriage, they need to be shut for peace to reign in the marriage because, whatever you don’t close in marriage, you give permission to grow.
Let's see some of these doors to shut in marriage
1. Door of Emotional Affairs
This involves getting too close emotionally with someone outside your spouse. You are sharing deep personal issues with others instead of your partner. Seeking comfort or validation elsewhere.
👉 How this door can be shut - by building emotional intimacy with your spouse first. You spouse should be the person you share your emotional intimacy with, you deep personal issue.
2. Door of Sexual Immorality
Sexual immoralities cut across po*******hy, ma********on habits, flirting, cheating, entertaining s*xual thoughts about others.
👉 How this door can be shut - by practicing discipline, accountability, and purity. Cut off from all s*xual contents that arouse s*xual thoughts from your other than your spouse.
3. The Door of "Back-up Plans"
Most of the times, when things get tough, it’s easy to let your mind wander to "what if" scenarios.
👉 How this door can shut - by eliminating the 'D' word: Removing divorce as a casual threat during arguments. Stop checking in on exes or keeping "safety net" emotional connections. Deciding that the only way out of a problem is through it, together.
4. Door of Secrecy
You get to hide phones, passwords, finances, or conversations thereby living a “double life” with your spouse. You even run out to make or receive calls so your spouse won't hear or know about your conversations.
👉 How this door can be shut - you need to practice openness and transparency, let your spouse have access to your phone, password, finances, 🏧
5. Door of Negative Third-Party Influence
When you allow friends, family, or outsiders to control your marriage, also comparing your spouse to others.
👉 How this door can be shut - you need to set boundaries with outsiders, don't be influenced negatively with others.
6. Door of Pride and Ego
You refusing to apologise when you are wrong. Always wanting to be right đź’Ż at all times and thereby dominating instead of partnering.
👉 How this door can be shut - by choosing humility and mutual respect, see marriage to be more of partnership than domineering.
7. Door of Poor Communication
This can be silent treatment, use of harsh words, insults, or disrespect, avoiding difficult conversations.
👉 How this door can be shut - creating safe, honest communication, set time for family discussion.
8. Door of Financial Dishonesty
Engaging in secret spending or hidden debts, financial infidelity.
👉How this door can be shut - by agreeing on financial plans and being accountable, let your spouse access to your finances
9. Door of Unforgiveness
This a serious matter, which I will call *wahala promoax.* This entails keeping records of wrongs, bringing up past issues repeatedly.
👉 How this door can be shut - by practicing forgiveness and healing. When you forgive, it's also for your good because you find peace within yourself
10. Door of Neglect
Another wahala promax. Ignoring your spouse’s emotional, physical, s*xual or spiritual needs, taking your partner for granted.
👉 How this door can shut - You need to be intentional with love, time, and care. Your spouse need these.
11. Door of Comparison
Your marriage is peculiar to you. Comparing your marriage to others (social media, friends, etc.) is an open channel for conflicts, unrealistic expectations.
👉 How this door can be shut - You need to value your unique marriage relationship, there is joy in your marriage if only you can locate it.
12. Door of Anger Mismanagement
Explosive reactions, bitterness and resentment to your spouse.
👉 How can this door be shut - managing emotions and resolving conflicts early, don't let the sun go down on your anger and forgive quickly
13. Door of Lack of Spiritual Covering
Neglecting prayer and spiritual growth as a couple.
👉 How this door can be shut - by praying together and building spiritual unity. The couple that prays together lives together.
14. The Door of "The Single Life" Mindset.
You are no longer a solo act. This door involves shifting away from unilateral Scheduling, making big plans without checking the family calendar and involving your spouse.
👉 How this door can be shut - Move away from the "My" Mentality, moving from "my money" and "my time" to "our resources" and "our goals."
15. The Door of Parental Over-Involvement
While honoring parents is important, the "leave and cleave" principle is vital. Your spouse should be the first person you consult on big decisions (finances, moving, parenting), not your parents. Keep the intimate details of your disagreements between you and your spouse. Bringing parents into every fight creates long-term resentment between them and your partner.
Pls shut that door too so that your parents can give your spouse the needed respect.
