24/08/2026
"And like a fool, I fell into immorality with her."
I remember one meeting back on campus—it was a worship meeting, powerful that night. I still remember what I was wearing: I remember the jeans, I remember the T-shirt. I rolled on the floor crying. Anybody that would have seen me that day would have said, "Kai, how he loves Jesus!"
In fact, as I was walking to my hostel, I was skipping, singing sweet songs to the One whom my heart loves.
When I got to the hostel... I was staying in what you call a semi-self-contained—it's two rooms. Those people in Delta State University will know that place: it's Emu Hostel. Abraka. Emu Hostel. They call it semi-self-contained, so two rooms sharing a toilet, kitchen, and bathroom.
In our own room, we were three brothers. In their own room, there were three girls. Me and my roommates, her and her roommates.
Meanwhile, one of the girls in that room, I had noticed over a period that I had begun to have a reaction towards her, and I was fighting it in the place of prayer. That day that I came back from worship, as I was about to climb the stairs, I noticed her room door was open and there was light.
Everything within my being said, "Kesena, enter your room!"
But you see, I said, "Let me just go and greet."
So I entered there and rested on the table. There was just a candle light; she was sprawled on the bed. She was in her nightgown. It was night, and I was just coming from fellowship. And the way the candle cast her shadow...
You see, before you judge David, make sure you can survive what he survived.
And then I said hello, and was about to take my leave, when she said, "What are you doing there now? Come."
And you see, I lie not to you, till today, if you ask me how I left that table and got to that bed, I don't know how. I'm not exaggerating, God is my witness—I just know that I was once here, and I found myself there.
But that's not the whole story.
At this time, I was already leading morning devotions in that hostel. 5:00, 6:00 AM, I'm the one on the field—crowds gather. They knew me as a man of God. I taught morning devotions to cultists. I was a cultist myself before I got saved. I saw confra people come and meet me in the room and say, "Kai, what you said today..."
I was already leading morning devotions with power, with grace. Early hours of the morning, everybody on my block would hear my tongues rattle—I must do it for two hours before I step out.
It was the same me, right in the middle of temptation, getting ready to do the devil's work—I was the one that whispered to her, "They will catch us. They will catch us."
Uncle, if they are going to catch us, is it not to get up and lock the door? But you know what I said? "Let's go outside, they will catch us."
So we came out and went behind the hostel, and I fell into sin with her—not knowing that the neighbor opposite watched the whole thing from beginning to end!
The next morning, I got up as usual, and I wanted to ascend. I lay on my bed, and I sought for the One whom my heart loves... and I found Him not. Normally, if I start praying, I can shut you out for four hours, and it will come like oil.
I tried, I tried... I couldn't break through.
Then the brother from the other room just came, opened the curtain and said, "Kai, Pastor, you're too much! Kai!"
Tears fell from my eyes.
If your life does not match what you claim comes from your heart, your life is a lie. We claim to love the Bridegroom, but it is not Him we love—we love His activities. We're in love with singing songs of ascension, but we don't love Him. His presence has not become valuable to us to the point where anything that fights our intimacy with God, we now treat as an enemy.
Do you know that prayer itself can become an idol? That you now elevate the length of prayer more than what prayer is supposed to give you?
Prayer is not a successful enterprise because you prayed long; it's a successful enterprise because of what happened to you when you prayed. The journey of prayer is supposed to be transformational. If you are consistently making contact with God, your appetites should change. Your outlook on life should change. Your passions, your desires, your likes should change.
Credit: Pastor Kesiena Esiri
📝 Spiritual encounter