04/05/2020
Dear aunty,
I would love to share this top secret about men with you. Please learn this trick very carefully...
The way women process things, and the way men think, are two very different things.
A woman can sit down to start recounting all the times her man has said "I love you" to her, and the places he said it.
A women can recall all the things her man has bought for her since the start of the year, all the times he has been nice, all the times he's actually gone out of his way to do something special for her, etc.
For women it is important to keep track of their man's caring and giving in other to be convinced that he has not stopped loving her, or that his love has not reduced. The last time he opened a car door or pulled out a chair for her in a restaurant has a certain percentage on a woman's love calculator 😀😀. The last time he said sweet words has it's own percentage too😀, women are really that detailed, delicate and special.😍
But you see us men? We are special in our own way too. The way we are designed to process love is a million times different from how women are designed to process love.
I mean, I have never had to sit down for a minute to start thinking about all the times my best friend Chocolate have said those three magic words "I love you" to me. Men do not sit around taking stock of all the gifts his woman have bought for him as a way of knowing if she loves him, or if her love for him is still there. Naaa, buy what? We are men, we don't go bothering about whether you're buying things for us or not, we have been designed to push our own wheels, so whether you're buying for us uumm, whether you're saying I love you frequently uhhmmm, our love calculator is very much different from yours.
How do we then process love?
Sometimes when I'm all by myself thinking about Choco's love for me, the things I process in my mind are;
Has she been RESPECTFUL?
Has she been SUBMISSIVE?
When was the last time she listened to me and took my advice?
How seriously does she take the things I say?
Is she understanding of the fact that the reason why I call her so late sometimes is because I am either busy in a counseling session or writing?
I know as the man it is my duty to ensure that communication never breaks between us, but is she also supportive in the area of communication?
Is there excitement in her voice when she talks about my family?
Is she making efforts to improve on some of those things we talked about the other day, things that needs adjusting? Or she's finding it difficult to take corrections.
These are some of the ways men process love, we don't do passion passion, emotion emotion, we don't put our feelings before reasoning, like the way our aunties love to do. We are critical in our own love process, and very datailed. So we don't want you to do a lot, your respect for us as your man is already a bountiful gift that we'll keep trying to repay.
I hope you're catching this good stuff aunty?
A lot of you don't even know that to ask your man what he would like you to get for him increases his love and respect for you far more than actually buying him that thing, it's just the common truth you might not know about us, it is not your money and gifts we actually need, it is your caring that completely wins us over, the fact that you thought about it ranks higher than stopping by the shopping mall. Are you getting this?
Some of you in your vocabulary you don't have "baby, I saw this nice polo at the store and pictured you to fit handsomely in it, so I bought it", or "so I've made a budget to go back and get it for you."... The only thing you know how to say very well is "baby how are you, have you eaten? If so glory be to God."... As if it is only food we came to this life to eat. 😂😂😃😊
Imagine if he gets a nice shirt delivered at his office with your name on it as a surprise?
Imagine if you get him a new tie he can alternate with his suits?
How about a new pair of jean to give him an alternative? That won't be such a bad idea would it?
He's been invited to a wedding? Buy him some nice men accessories to complement the suit he's planning to wear. It is a once in a while something, your money will not finish.😃😃
Imagine if he gets a pair of shoes from you with a note that says "baby it's not your birthday but love you every single day. Xoxo."
What some of you know how to do is to complain about how he doesn't wash his socks frequently, aunty health inspector 😂, how about getting him a new pair?
Have you even thought about getting him one of his favourite club jerseys? Or you're there wearing stinginess like agbada.😂😂
Listen aunty, treat your man right, especially if he's a good man. These days the women who are getting married every weekend are women with an extra oil, women who know how to do that little extra to pamper the man who is giving all his best. Go out of your way sometimes and put a big smile on his face.
So now you know how our love calculator reads. Your love process and ours are not the same.