05/11/2024
Today, I want to talk about something that so many of us struggle with—asking for help, especially if we’ve been through trauma. Why do we hold back from reaching out when we need it the most? If you’ve ever felt that hesitation or fear, you’re not alone, and there are some important reasons why it happens.
When we’ve experienced trauma, our brains learn to protect us in ways that can sometimes make it harder to ask for help. It’s like our minds build walls to keep us safe from any future pain or rejection.
Trauma often leaves us feeling unsafe. When you’ve been hurt before—emotionally, mentally, or even physically—opening up to someone can feel like you’re exposing yourself to that pain all over again. Vulnerability feels risky, and we want to protect ourselves from more harm.
Also, after trauma, especially trauma that involves some type of betrayal or abandonment, we might be afraid that if we ask for help, people will say no, judge us, or not take our pain seriously. It can feel like we’re risking rejection all over again.
And when we go through trauma, one of the biggest impacts is the loss of control over what happened to us. So, naturally, we want to hold on to as much control as we can afterward. Asking for help can feel like you’re handing over control to someone else, and that can be terrifying.
If you’ve experienced trauma and feel hesitant to ask for help, it’s completely understandable. Your brain is trying to protect you.
But asking for help isn’t losing control. It’s about giving yourself the resources you need to handle what you’re going through with more strength and support. When we ask for help, we allow others to come in and support us, which creates connection and safety—things we might have lost during our traumatic experiences.
But remember, true strength comes from reaching out, not just holding everything in. The more you practice asking for help, the more you allow healing to happen.
