23/02/2023
1) Me: Baby, I love y0u
She: Same here..
Me: Wow! Really???
She: Yeah, you're the hair in my s0up, the c0rner of the table which my little t0e hits. I love y0u like taxes. In fact, I love you so much like traffic jam which makes me very happy and calm when I'm almost late to work
2) When I was small, I used to think that nob0dy c0uld b£at my fath£r
3) For two nights now, my neighbour has been sl££ping in an unc0mpleted building because a fam0us l0an c0mpany he's owing thr£atened to come and arr£st him.
When I asked what if he's b£aten by a sn@ke, he replied, "My dear, it's better I get b£at£n by a sn@ke than for those pe0ple to catch me. High bl00d pressure dey learn work where L@po pressure dey. Even if you're in a lab0ur room, you'll have to pay them bef0re púshing. Just two h0urs of d£faulting, y0ur wh0le village pe0ple will kn0w that y0u look l0an from them
4) Boss: (after explaining something in details) Got it?
Me: Got it..
My brain: Got what?
The same me will still go and be asking my colleagues if they understood what our boss just explained
5) Man: This is my third div0rcé and I'm not happy
Friend: So sorry about that. But if márriáge doesn't fav0ur y0u, why not try evangelism?
If y0u can't win h£arts, then, at least win s0uls
6) Who else noticed that biscuit companies don't make n0ise ab0ut the b@d ec0nomy?
They'll just rem0ve one or two from the sachet and keep m0ving
7) You will realize that datiñg a núrsé isn't r0mantiç at all when she looks into y0ur eyes, and instead of seeing l0ve, she sees malaria
8) While growing up, I heard that when pe0ple d!£, they rel0cate to an0ther t0wn far away from where they're kn0wn, and c0ntinue to live..
Pls, is this true? Is yes, can some0ne also rel0cate to America or Europe after d£áth?
Just asking for a friend
9) Don't forget that some0ne that's br0ke today can also be p00r tomorrow
10) While growing up, whenever mom gets me añgry in the night, I will pack my bag and tell her I'm leaving the h0use in peaçe. And she'll be begging me..
One unlucky evening, after packing my bag, she volunteered to help me carry the bag and see me off. She must have been f£d up with begging me..
Along a lonely path, NEPA took light. Immediately, she dropped my heavy bag on my head and said, "Take care. I will be going back here"
Immediately I began to sçr£am and began as she began to walk fast back home
After that night, I n£ver tri£d that n0nsense again
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, February 2023
