13/06/2025
LOVE HER THROUGH IT: A LETTER TO EVERY HUSBAND
Recently, I’ve heard stories of young women, wives, mothers, going through what can only be described as silent suffering. Postpartum. A word we hardly mention in conversations, yet a world some women live in every day. And it’s not just a phase, it’s a battlefield.
I know a woman who, after childbirth, began to lose her memory, forgetting things she used to remember without effort. She walks into a room and forgets why. She holds her baby and wonders where she placed the feeding bottle just seconds ago. Her husband thinks she’s careless. He has no idea that her mind is under siege.
Another one, once known for her long, dark, beautiful hair, now watches helplessly as it breaks off in clumps. Her mirror has become a stranger. She used to take pride in her looks, but now she just tries to survive the day.
I know a woman who, weeks after giving birth, started hearing voices. Yes, voices. Postpartum psychosis, the doctors called it. But in her culture, it’s called "madness." No one checked her hormones. No one checked her pain. They just labeled her.
These women are not weak. They are wounded soldiers from the frontlines of childbirth.
They carried life in their womb, stretched, bled, endured labor pains, and still came home to cook, clean, breastfeed, and be “wife.”
And the painful part? Many of them are suffering in silence.
Not because they don’t want to speak, but because no one is listening.
Dear husband, if your wife just gave birth, or is pregnant, this is the moment she needs you the most.
Be tender. Be patient. Be present.
She’s not the same woman she was nine months ago.
She evolved to bring forth life. Now evolve to love her better.
Don’t roll your eyes when she cries over “nothing.”
Don’t mock her stretch marks or her new belly.
Don’t compare her to her old self.
She’s fighting a hormonal war you cannot see. And sometimes, love is not in the grand gestures but in holding her when she breaks down for no reason, in running the bath, in saying, “You’re doing well, love.”
Love her through the mood swings.
Love her through the tiredness.
Love her through the forgetfulness.
Love her through the mess.
Because real men don’t walk away from bleeding women, they cover them.
She gave you a child, now give her compassion.
She carried your legacy, carry her pain with her.
She nearly died to give life, don’t let your absence become her death sentence.
Every postpartum woman is a story of courage.
But behind every strong mother should be a stronger husband.
Don’t wait until she’s buried to say, “She was a good woman.”
Say it now. Show it now.
Because the way you treat her in this season will echo in her healing, or her breaking.
She may never say how much it hurts.
But if you truly love her, you’ll love her through it.
May the Lord give every husband wisdom to understand, strength to support, and a heart to truly love their wives, especially in seasons of pain and recovery. Amen.
© Pst. Isaac Adesanmi Adekunle | 9th June 2025 | 6pm
