23/08/2026
FAMILY SUNDAY SERVICE || SUNDAY, 23RD AUGUST || SERMON
Ministering: Pastor Eno Ekong
Topic: Marriage: God's Agenda
Considering Common Myths about Marriage!
By Oxford English Dictionary, a myth is defined as a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of a people.
Its secondary meaning is applicable to our discussion which is: a widely held but false belief or idea.
Genesis 1 & 2, provides us with the ideal setting for life as God intended it. They reveal God’s original intention and how He wants things to be done. When this truth is properly understood, it will help us in our walk with God and positively impact our relationships and marriages.
Many believers run into errors today because their thinking has been shaped by ideas that are not founded on God’s Word.
Over time, these ideas become the basis upon which they make decisions, even though they are not rooted in Scripture.
Sadly, some have also been misled by preachers who teach their own ideologies about marriage without rightly dividing the word of truth, as Paul admonished Timothy.
2 Timothy 2:15
If we are to build marriages that truly honour God, we must return to the beginning. We must understand what God established before culture, tradition, or personal opinion began to redefine it.
Man is God’s idea, it was Him who determined the existence of man, and He did so for His purpose and pleasure. When you do not live for this purpose, you frustrate the very reason for your creation.
Genesis 2:7
It was God who determined where man would be placed. It was God who determined Adam’s location - in the garden.
That is why when believers relocate because of economic situations without reference to God, it tells how they do not fully understand the Kingdom they belong to.
Since God determined man’s location, provision was never a problem for him because he was in God’s appointed place. When you remain in your divine location, you will not lack divine provision.
As long as Elijah stayed at the Brook Cherith, he lacked nothing during the famine. Even when the brook dried up, God directed him to another location where he was sustained for the rest of the famine. This shows that famine is not the real issue. The real issue is: are you where God has placed you?
Genesis 2:8
It was God who determined man’s work.
These things were written to guide us in life. Never choose a career or business primarily because of the pay.
Submit your decisions to God. Weigh them in the light of His will and purpose for your life. Never make life decisions based only on momentary gain.
Work did not begin with the curse. It is not a curse to work. God works, so we must also work.
Also, work was not given primarily for man’s sustenance. We work to fulfil purpose, not merely to survive. It is right to eat from the fruit of your labour, but provision is not the primary reason for work, purpose is.
Genesis 2:15
Eve for Adam was God’s idea. That union was determined by God, not by Adam. God cared enough to recognise that man needed help, suitable help, and He brought Eve to Adam.
If God cared for Adam enough to give him Eve, what makes you think He will not do the same for you? He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
But you must first allow Him to put you at rest. It will not come by struggle or by trying to be smarter than God.
Genesis 2:18, 21
Let God cause you to sleep. That means be at rest in Him and allow Him to choose for you. Do not wear yourself out chasing after what God is fully able to bring to you at the right time. You cannot afford to approach the matter of marriage using worldly methods. Stop looking for a spouse as though you are window shopping. Let God cause you to rest in Him.
Marriage is a journey you have not been on before, you need God to start it and to finish it well.
Let us now consider a few common myths related to knowing who to marry.
Myth 1:
Since Adam called Eve 'bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,' it means there is only one person uniquely meant for each of us.
This is not true. That was settled in the first man - Adam and Eve. We all came from that product, and it is our responsibility to find and approach our Father for confirmation or be led by God to find.
Genesis 2:22-24
If that is the truth those who lose their spouse have lost forever. Abraham the father of faith, married again and had children after losing Sarah his wife (Genesis 25:1-2). Ruth remarried Boaz after losing her first husband.
Paul’s teaching also affirms this truth, that one can remarry after losing his or her spouse, thereby debunking the claim under review
1 Corinthians 7:39
Myth 2:
God will give me the desire of my heart.
It is true that the Bible says God will give us the desires of our hearts. However, some believers misuse this Scripture as a rubber stamp to marry anyone they choose, even when their reasons are clearly outside the boundaries of Scripture.
When your desires cannot be submitted to the authority of God’s Word, it becomes a serious issue.
Galatians 3:26-29
Disapproving someone on the basis of a tribe is alien to God’s Kingdom.
Psalm 37:3-5
According to Strong’s Hebrew Concordance the words “Delight yourself” is ʿānag which means:
To be soft, delicate, or dainty.
To take exquisite delight, to luxuriate in.
To make oneself soft or pliable (figuratively: to delight oneself).
In this context of Psalm 37:4, ʿānag implies a deep, inward, and tender enjoyment, not a shallow or self-indulgent pleasure, but a joyful intimacy and satisfaction in God. It carries the sense of being completely yielded and delighting with one’s whole being in the presence, will, and character of the Lord.
So, with this understanding, God granting you the desires of your heart is based on the condition that you are fully yielded to Him, delighting in His presence, His will, and His character.
Every desire you hold must be examined through the lens of God’s will and nature.
When God becomes your delight, His desires begin to shape your own. There will be oneness - a harmony, between your desires and His. You cannot truly delight in God and still hold on to desires that contradict His will. Those who genuinely delight in the Lord will honour His Word above their personal preferences, allowing His truth to govern their choices, even in matters as sensitive as who to marry.
Myth 3:
God no longer gets involved in choosing a spouse because Adam blamed Him, saying, ‘It is the woman You gave me.’ Since then, it is now up to man - 'he that findeth a wife';
The belief that God withdrew from guiding marital choices because Adam blamed Him in Genesis 3:12 - “The woman You gave me…”, is both speculative and unbiblical.
First, God’s involvement in our lives did not stop because of Adam’s failure. Instead, from Genesis to Revelation, we see a God who continues to lead, guide, and order the steps of those who trust Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 32:8
One of the common mistakes some people make is attempting to establish doctrines without considering the full counsel of Scripture, or by trying to infer what the Bible does not actually say. We must never approach the Scriptures based on assumptions. Interpretation must be rooted in what the Bible truly says, not in what we think it might mean. Never assume when it comes to interpreting God’s Word.
Proverbs 18:22.
But what does it mean to “find” a wife? If he finds, it implies he has first searched. So the next question is: how does he search? Since the Bible does not detail the process, it is wise to remain silent where Scripture is silent.
However, when we place this verse alongside another Scripture in the very next chapter, things become clearer:
Proverbs 19:14
If only the Lord can give a wise, understanding and prudent wife, then man’s effort to “find" is ultimately futile without God’s involvement. To believe that God has stopped choosing or guiding us in whom to marry is baseless and inconsistent with the overall teaching of Scripture. Without the leadership of the Captain of our soul, we are truly lost, even in matters of marriage.
One reason this belief persists is because many do not understand the concept of discipleship. The moment you believed in Jesus and chose to follow Him, you surrendered the right to live by your own wisdom or pursue your personal interests apart from Him. A true disciple no longer owns his life, it now belongs to Christ. That includes every area, especially marriage. You cannot claim to follow Jesus and then insist on marrying just anyone based on preference alone.
The idea that He has stopped choosing or guiding us in such a crucial decision is not only baseless but also inconsistent with what it means to be a disciple.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15
A disciple of Christ no longer lives for himself or herself, the moment one receives Jesus, self-ownership ends. To be a disciple is to live for Christ entirely. So, if a man or woman is truly living for Christ, what makes them think they can choose whom to marry without involving the One who owns their life?
Friends, it simply does not add up.
Colossians 1:16
If our marriage is to truly serve Christ’s purpose, then His interest must be reflected right from the very beginning, starting with the decision of whom to marry.
Let God guide and lead you, but remember, at the end of the day, you are still the one who must take responsibility for your decision.
As a man, you will need to make the move and propose; as a woman, you will need to discern and either accept or decline the proposal.
Divine guidance does not cancel human responsibility, it empowers it.
Friends, it is not enough to say Christ is the foundation. We must take heed of how we carry out His agenda. Many marriages fail not because Christ was absent at the wedding, but because He was absent in their daily living.
If Christ does not govern your heart, He cannot govern your home.
