24/01/2024
TOPIC: MARITAL ROLES – THE ROLE OF THE HUSBAND
TEXT: EPHESIANS 5:22,25
Marriage does not work by love only. God did not make Adam the president first but made him a husband, so this is to let us know that marriage and family is the foundation of the society. The success of marriage is not in how handsome or beautiful the husband or wife is or by the fact that the couple can have children, but the hard truth is that marriage is work. Problems begin in the family when roles are abandoned.
A role is a specific function, an individual part in a play. The man has two major roles in the family;
1. His positional role
2. The commanded role
1. POSITIONAL ROLE. The man is the head of the family and the head contains the brain, eyes, ears and nose.
a. The Brain. The man must assume the role of the thinker of the family, he is the central processing unit in the family. If the man cannot think, nothing will work in the family. He has to first see with his mind's eyes then meditate and brood over the affairs of the family before he has a solution. He has to think ahead and shouldn't be taken by surprise by needs and situations that will disturb the family. Men need space to think. When the wife brings up things and the husband is quiet, this doesn't mean he is ignoring the wife but he is thinking about her suggestion. As a husband, if you are not thinking, you are not functioning.
b. The Eyes. The husband has the role of seeing ahead and catching vision for the family. Where there is no vision, the family will perish. The husband's eyes must constantly be in the next place, seeing what the family ought to do and seeing the coming challenges and to prepare for it. Your eyes must not be at the same level with your body. Jeremiah 1:11. When you fail to see as a husband, you are forcing your wife to be the visionary of the family. Every husband should be connected to God so God can open his eyes to see.
c. The Ears. There are two kinds of hearing.
★ Hearing from God for the family; The man must be able to hear from God on behalf of the family. He must be spiritually disciplined to hear what God is saying per time. Revelation 2:11. You can't be a husband and be carnal, whatever happens in your family must be your decision. As a husband, you must be connected to the mouth of God Isaiah 50:4-5. Hearing from God is a continuous process. In order to hear from God, you must be strong in fellowship with God. The more you press into God in the Spirit, the clearer you ear gets
★ Hearing feedback from your wife. Your wife has been positioned in your life as your helper. God must help you to be able to discern your wife's voice to some certain matters. Pay attention to her because the things she says will guide you in your actions and decisions.
d. The Nose. Your perceptive capacity should be strong as a husband. There are things you can't see immediately but you can discern them before it happens. Proverbs 27:12. You should be able to discern when your children are going astray and Perceive the kind of friends they associate with. It is the presence of God that will awaken your perceptive capacity. No husband should be too busy to be connected to God because God is his head.
e. The mouth. The mouth must give expression to the things you have seen. The man must be a good communicator. Silent treatment is from the devil. The devil loves when there is a breakdown of communication in the home. Ephesians 4:26-27(AMP).
2. The Commanded Role Of The Husband. Ephesians 5:25. The man must know how to love his wife as the commanded role from God. Love is the greatest thing a man lacks. Men are not good feelers.
How did Jesus love the church.
A. Sacrificially. Jesus gave up the most precious, He gave His life for the church. The husband must be sacrificial and unconditional towards his wife. Be generous, liberal and open handed to your wife. Do the things that means love to your wife. Don't let her beg for your love.
B. Jesus loved the church by ministering to the church. Eph. 5:26-27. Make your wife feel special. Jesus makes the church special by the words He speaks to her. Jeremiah 31:3. Every woman needs words spoken to her that will make her special. Jesus was constantly sanctifying the church that there was no spot or wrinkles on her. Spots are signs of man handling and wrinkles are signs of stress. Present to yourself a glorious wife.
C. Be patient with your wife. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)
* Patience says I will wait for you till you become prefect. Be kindhearted to your wife. Love does not sing its own praises. Love is not rude.
Role abandonment always lead to the ruin of marital relationship.
By Ezekiel Atang
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