17/04/2014
Time to LAFF: on ur mark, get ready, GO.......
Yesterday, I was driving down the street in Lagos, having just finished answering a call when a police man suddenly opened the passenger door, entered and jammed it. As usual he wanted "something" from me for calling while driving...Then suddenly he saw the big Rottweiler dog "Jackie" at the back-seat with tongue stuck out, spitt dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him...
POLICEMAN: [Shaking] Ah! You carry dog?
ME: [I bone face] Yes I carry dog, dat one na offense?
POLICEMAN: [Feeling uncomfortable] Na where una dey come from?
ME: From hospital
POLICEMAN: Ehen! you sick?
ME: No, na person wey d dog bite we go see, the person almost die sef
POLICEMAN: [Terribly shaken by now] Ehen! but why d dog dey shake head like dat?
ME: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person
POLICEMAN: ah! and d dog know you?
ME: Yes nah, no be my dog? [bone's face]
POLICEMAN: [Sweating] This your
door, how you dey open am?
ME: how you take enter?
POLICEMAN: Abeg! Na since i dey try open am but e no gree open [The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, it's tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear]
POLICEMAN: [Now sliding forward] Oga i take God beg you, open the door for me make i comot, i no go collect anything from you
ME: how much u go pay me?
POLICEMAN: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morin, na only 1k dey wit me.
ME: U neva ready [attempting to release d dog]
POLICEMAN: ok ok ok ok ok, e reach 2k, the other 1k na my wife own but I go give you join [now close to tears as the dog was becomin really impatient and getting ready to atack] Oga I be..be..be...beg sorry, take d 2k make u open d door plsssssss [sweating profusely]
ME: oya bring am! [collects d 2k, lets him out of d car]
POLICEMAN: God punish you idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog, wicked man.
..hahahaha...one name for this policeman abeg...