05/03/2026
DATE: 3RD APRIL, 2000
TIME: 12 MIDNIGHT
VENUE: DESERT OF MOUNT CARMEL, OLO
*TOPIC: I ALLOWED YOU TO BE TESTED, FOR YOU TO KNOW AND EXPERIENCE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TOTALLY ABANDONED*
Today, I experienced total abandonment. I learnt what Our Lord meant when He said that He was ABANDONED and that there was no one to console Him. I will say that the grace that was assisting me yesterday was deprived of me. What remained were faith and my will to choose what to do.
My rising on this second day seemed to me like someone who escaped death. I was very tired and helpless. It seemed to me that I had stayed up to ten days. I looked up at the sky; it was all cloudy and about to rain. Within a short time, the rain started dropping, I looked around and saw my Rosary, I picked it up and prayed. However, I have offered all my difficulties to God. And I made a sincere promise to God that I will not leave the desert until I stayed up to seven days. The intention of my Rosary was, “Lord thy will be done”. After a while the cloud disappeared.
Around 8:00 am, the heat of the sun was intense. This made me to leave the mountain to my camp. By this time, I was already suffocating and weak.
Unknown to me, my first camp was covered with black ants. With carelessness and weakness, I threw myself on the ground when I reached the camp to rest for a short while. I felt a bite of something; I wanted to know what it was. Another one bit me. I then saw that it was a black ant. By that time they were already all over me.
As I was trying to escape, I fell inside thorns that covered almost that side where I fell. In my struggle with the thorns and the black ants, I learnt what Our Lord meant by His scourging and crowning with thorns. I struggled and struggled for about five minutes to come out of the thorns and escape the ants. In the end I came out, and left the camp at once to seek for another camp.
I found another camp; the land was smooth and still. In a great weakness I laid down to rest again. After a while, I remembered the ants and looked around. I saw that worker termites had covered my shirt. On remembering the ants and the thorns, I quickly left the camp at once.
This incident made me to decide to walk about in the desert. Later, I saw a beautiful mango tree, which is a bit far from where I was standing. I thought within myself that it would have a well-shaded grove. So, I trekked to it in spite of my weakness and suffering.
When I reached there, it seemed to me that my rest had come. But here, I received a temptation of the Evil One. Within a short time, I looked up and saw about seven ripe and beautiful mangoes on top of the mango tree. It was not even high up. I could climb and get the mangoes easily if I wanted to. By this time, I was already dried up with thirst and hunger. The Evil One reminded me that the days were still far. That was my second day. There were five more days and nights to go.
Immediately I saw these mangoes, I knew that Satan was around. I smiled and simply cried out, “Satan you are defeated.” I quickly left the camp for my final camp.
When I reached this final camp, I felt a bit more relaxed and comfortable. But after a while, the condition changed automatically. The cold wind changed to a very hot dry wind scorching me. The tree was not well shaded any more. The intensity of the heat was now much on me. In spite of these inconveniences, I managed to stay there and say my prayers, read spiritual books till evening.
I returned to the mountain in the evening. I was tired due to my long stress in the day, so I decided to rest and sleep, but I could not. It appeared as if there was an announcement in the kingdom of mosquitoes to come to attack me. This was not so yesterday. I had slept normally and had felt relaxed.
These mosquitoes continuously disturbed me until 12 midnight when I saw the vision of our Lord hanging alive on the cross. He said, “Be calm, it is finished.”
Instantly, cloud covered the whole place and the Holy Face of Agonizing Jesus Christ appeared and said to me.
“Barnabas, I allowed you to be tested to know and experience what it means to be totally abandoned by God, by nature and by all creatures. This is what I suffered for you. Everything rejected Me because of you. Even My Father couldn’t hear the voice of His Only-Begotten Son because He wanted Him to suffer and extremely suffer the pain of His Agony and Death like mortal man. Indeed, I felt it and suffered it. I am still suffering most for you now.
My son, I was left alone to suffer. My Divinity was deprived of Me by My Father. Leaving the weight of My weak flesh to fall upon Me. I looked for someone to console Me, I found none. I was depressed until the Angel of My comfort came and helped Me to see the little you. He helped Me to see how you will come to the full knowledge of My Father’s Will, and how you would console the Sacrificial Lamb with your lives. I was consoled and named you My chosen.
