17/02/2024
Some Folklores on the Jade Emperor
1) The Kingdom of Light and Joy (origin story)
So like, once upon a time, there was this place called the Kingdom of Light and Joy, and of course like, erryone was like, happy there. Anyway, the King and Queen started thinkin’, y'know, who would inherit their kingdom?
Sooooo, the Queen dreamt that Lingbao Tianzun floated down with a child, and that baby was totally glowing, which obviously meant that he was somethin’ special.
Obviously the Queen was all, “OMG BABY! I can still have a baby?”
And the old man was like, “Yea, sure!”
When the prince was born, the entire kingdom lighted up! Woo! And he really grew up to be special, 'cause he was kind, gave the treasure in the palace to the poor, and his dad was all, “Welp, I can like, totally give him the kingdom since he’s growin’ up to be the kind of ruler I want him to be. YES!”
Which is what happened after the old King died.
So that’s how the Jade Emperor became, um, King.
But that’s not all. 'Cause one day, he told his ministers, “Hey guys! I will be away from this place a bit 'cause I wanna cultivate myself, and the kingdom is doing really well anyways.”
Which is what he did, and he gained immortality. Aaaaand he cultivated himself some more, and became the Jade Emperor.
2) Zhang Bairen Recruited by Star of Venus
The first story doesn’t have that much excitement, so there’s like, another story that tells us how the Jade Emperor like, totally came to be.
The thing is, there were like, sooo many immortals par-taying in heaven, and they totally needed a ruler. The gods of wind and rain also did douche-y things like, make it rain endlessly on earth. The god of wind also challenged him, and the mortals were like, “Okay, seriously? When will this stop?”
So the Star of Venus, or Tai Bai Jin Xing, ('cause the Chinese people thought the Star of Venus was an immortal) went to earth to search for the Emperor. He like, changed himself into a beggar and went down to earth to search for a ruler.
He came across this town called Zhang, and he was like, real impressed 'cause it was like, a real orderly town and s**z. He went around, asking who the ruler of the town was, and this dude was all, “Oh. We’re ruled by Zhang Bairen, but we call him Zhang the Tolerant,” 'cause he’s like, super forgiving.
The fake beggar went outside Zhang’s house, and collapsed in front of it, wailing, “OMG! I’m like, totally starving!” Zhang came out and was all, “OMG, this is like, so sad! Come in, Imma help you!”
He carried the beggar in, and made some food for him.
Obviously it was a test, so the beggar complained. “You only gave me rice! And there’s like, no meat! Or wine!”
So Zhang got everything the beggar wanted.
The beggar stayed at Zhang’s place for six months, but Zhang didn’t complain, or say that the beggar was a freeloader or anything. He was like, real patient and kind with errbody, especially the beggar. And the beggar was always like, making trouble for him, complaining about this and that, and Zhang didn’t even lose his temper.
Anyway, the beggar revealed himself to be the Star of Venus, and was all, “Hey, you’re a pretty good person, so can you like, govern heaven, hell and earth?”
Zhang was all, “WTF? Seriously?”
“Uh, yeah. We kinda need a ruler.”
“But this isn’t a small town! It’s, like, everything!” Zhang was totally panicking.
“Well, you’re gonna have me and other ministers to help, so come on!” And that’s how Zhang Bairen became the Jade Emperor.
3) The Jade Emperor Slays a Monster
A long time ago, it really sucked to be on earth, 'cause monsters were always attacking all the mortals, and no one really stopped them. At that time, the Jade Emperor was like, an immortal, and he was real compassionate, and he was like, real upset 'cause his powers were like, limited, and he couldn’t help the humans much. Then, he had an idea. He would like, hide in the cave and like, cultivate himself and hopefully, he could help the humans after that.
But while he was meditating and s**z, this demon was like, “Imma destroy everything and be King!” He started messin’ s**t up on earth, and he had also like, cultivated himself, and got an army to march into heaven and conquer it.
The immortals were like, freakin’ scared, and they prepared to fight, but they knew they couldn’t win.
The Jade Emperor, funnily enough, finished cultivating himself, and saw what was happening. He was all ready to whoop ass, and he challenged the demon to an epic battle. They fought for a really long time, with the earth shaking, the seas wobbling, and all that stuff. Finally, the Jade Emperor won because he had cultivated himself for the greater good of the peeps on earth, not because he wanted power.
So after the battle, errbody on heaven and earth agreed that he was like, awesome beyond all means, and they told him to be the Jade Emperor, and rule over them. Since then, he’s been a good ruler.
4) Jade Emperor’s Dragon Stick
OK, so this is a Chinese New Year thang that people do, which is to burn dragons. This was because the Jade Emperor used to like, go errywhere with like, his dragon stick.
One day, he went out, and forgot to carry his stick with him, and when he like, came back, errbody was all, “Hey! Jade Emperor! A dragon is wreaking havoc on the world, yo!”
This was so not good, so the Jade Emperor went down to look. Since one day in heaven is equal to a year on earth, the dragon had totally been messin’ s**t for a year. And when the Emperor went down to look, he saw that the dragon was his dragon stick, and had totally come to life after being in contact with the Emperor.
The Jade Emperor was real upset about this, so he was all, “OK, mortals. You can like, burn the dragon on the ninth day of the first lunar month, yo!"
That’s what they did.
