20/02/2023
On a boring afternoon during school holidays, I entertained myself by disturbing my grandma. She finally gave in and told me to fetch a movie tape from my parent’s room. While looking for a movie, I stumbled across a stack of unfamiliar video tapes. I brought it to my grandma, wanting to watch the movie with her. She looked at the video cover page, told me to put it back and to choose another video. She added that I wasn’t allowed to watch it. Well, telling a 10 year old not to do something? What do you think happened next? That was my first encounter with adult videos. When I was 11, I was hanging out with a gang friend (Wayne) and he suddenly dared me to peep through a window to see someone changing. Of course, I said no problem. We attempted to peep but it was too late as she had already changed and wasn’t in the room. Wayne later told me that she was home alone and suggested we go to her house and have our way with her. I agreed. We knocked at her door, but no one answered. After a while of knocking, we got tired and went back to Wayne’s house. Later on we discovered she was out with her parents while we were at the back of her house. Furthermore, she was initially changing her clothes to get ready to go out. Till today, I thank God for how things played out because, every time I wanted to do something that could destroy my life, I was kept from it.
One day when I was 12, my mother said I must follow my cousin to church youth meetings. I was so against it but reluctantly gave it a shot when my friends mentioned that church is filled with pretty girls. At my first Christian youth meeting, I was like “WOW, this is paradise!”. Although I had to sit through Bible classes, I was attracted to the pretty girls. God was very merciful to me, because all the Bible lessons stuck to me like super glue. Finally, during a youth camp, God opened my eyes and used all the Bible lessons to push me to decide to accept Christ as my Saviour – the decision that changed my life.
Although I became a Christian, it wasn’t a happy ever after. I struggled tremendously with lust when I was a younger Christian. But God protected me in many ways, making it very inconvenient by surrounding me with people so I have lesser chance to be alone with the internet. Looking back, I’m glad that I have God with me all the way. I can’t imagine how lost I could have been if God hadn’t brough me back. Most probable I will be in prison!
To Christian out there, we are not lone rangers. We have God by our side and brothers and sisters in Christ around us. Talk to them if you find yourself falling again and again. You gave all the resources you need to overcome obstacles. Till today the desire to fall is there but I rest assured that somehow God will help me through any challenges. All I need to do is to accept His help.
