15/11/2022
FORGIVENESS IS NOT A DESTINATION,IT’S A JOURNEY WHOSE FIRST STEP IS NOT THEIR APOLOGY...long preaching alert
Genesis 50:15-21 New International Version (NIV)
Joseph Reassures His Brothers
15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.
18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.
19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
I think the word forgiveness is easier said than done, despite how sanctified, anointed and filled you are, sometimes you have struggled with forgiveness .At one time in life ,someone will do something into your life, that is so evil and ugly in your life that will put your Christianity to test..at this point you realise that forgiveness is not as easy as it is said.Have you ever dealt with betrayal,maliciousness,a repeat offender,a person who knew what he/she ought to have done to you but did exactly the opposite?Many are the times i have found myself in the situation…TRUTH BE TOLD ,I STRUGGLED TO FORGIVE..Ifyou have found yourself in the same situation ,I would like you to read the verse and the text above….you all know the story of joseph and his brothers
Joseph is the eleventh male child born to Jacob.Jacob was favoured by his father above any other child.The trouble begins in chapter 37,when joseph had a dream to greatness,it is not the dream of becoming great that lands him into problem…the problem was sharing the dream coupled with his fathers favor.This triggered envy and anger in his brothers—ending story was throwing him in a pit.Wish not to elaborate the whole story..but joseph lifes seemed tobe moving from bad to worse and to worst.pit-prison-being abandoned but the bible says in every situation God was with him, God favored him and became the prime minister.In chapter 42 Joseph is put in a place where each one of us would want to be in when someone has done you wrong.He is second in command after pharaoh .It is at this point we see his brothers coming for assistance-food,The brothers did not recognize Joseph but Joseph did..what do you do when you are in a position to revenge to those who did you wrong?Joseph was in authority ,could have taken this “ripe “ and suitable situation to revenge.How many times have we taken our situations to revenge and used the gospel of WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.when people who have done you wrong need you---you know the ka feeling.what would you do???
Look at what Joseph said—“don’t be afraid ,am not God.what you did,you meant for evil BUT GOD…worked for my good.Can you feel the forgiveness in the response??This brings us to anatomy of forgives
1.DELIBERATE DECISION TO RELAESE YOURSELF FROM THE ANGER OF THE OFFENDER/
Joseph didn’t allow his anger to control him ,dictate how he was to react to his brothers .What angers does is making you live in fear ,wondering when the wrath of God will fall upon the offender. This is where most of Christians are. They live with ears and eyes open just to know what is happening to their offenders…this will always make you afraid especially when the negative you are expecting to your offender is not happening.i know the offender frustrated you,stepped on your raw nerve,shared your secrets with some aers not meant for sharing….but don’t let anger control you/control your response.
2.TAKE TIME TO WORK THROUGH YOUR EMOTION
Take time to read chapters 37 all through,whenever Joseph wanted to confront his brothers ,he would leave them and go to a separate room,he cries himself up and come back .He realiased if he talked to them out of his anger and emotions ,he would never forgive them.check verse 23 verse 31,the bible says when Joseph left his brothers and he did not come back before he controlled himself.This took him some time.He did not see his brothers the first time and just forgave them. SOMETIMES FORGIVENESS TAKES TIME.You are not less of a Christian if you don’t forgive immediately and instantly. Sometimes you got to go through hurt.Forgivess is not just a destination but a journey that you have to choose to start.The first step of this journey is not their apology but your deliberate decision to forgive.If you wait for their apology ,you may never embark on this journey called forgiveness,since not everyone values the words AM SORRY.doest it mean that if the words am sorry never comes your way ,you will never forgive?The first step is to let your anger go away.how does this happen ?good you asked..see what joseph does …he sees his offenders infront of him but he looked at where he was.(prime minister)When the past of who did wrong to him was infront of him,he compared to what God had done in his life .He compared his past and current position and acknowledged that it had taken the hand of GOD.thats where we go wrong ,sometimes we either don’t see what God has done in your life since we only keep our eyes with what the offenders did or we use our current great position to ashame our offenders. Mark what Joseph said when he compared what the offenders and his current position..you meant everything for EVIL ,BUT GOD….i only wish we can be using the two words in our lives BUT GOD…when you compare what the Lord has done into your life.when you get BUT GOD in your CV ,you are good to go.
3. FORGIVENESS REQUIRES A DIFFICULT DISCUSSION ABOUT THE TRUTH OF THE OFFENSE
When Joseph brothers came to him for assistance, they did not recognize him but joseph did.look at whatever josepd did.he asked them to tell him about their family.It is at this point that they narrated all their siblings…and mark what they said about joseph…he died.Joseph response was—that is not true.Joseph did not want to forgive and live a lie.It is at that point he tells his brothers “you meant to harm me but GOD…..If joseph bought their story ,then both parties would be living a lie.This is exactly what happens in real life and especially in marrriages,sometimes things will still go to south even after forgiveness because of this mistake of living a lie. Sometimes both parties need to ask the hard questions on the table, bring everything that led to separation /divorce and have the tough discussion of the offence. Make the other party understand the offense ,very rarely will you forgive an offense that is not known to the offender.Making the offense known to the offender doesn’t necessarily make them apologize but the offense will be known.You cannot forgive where you maintain a lie.Mostly many marriages fails in this stage…having difficult discussion about the offense.HAVE A TRUTHFUL TALK OF WHAT HAPPENED
4.DECLINE TO DISCLOSE THE OFFENSE TO OTHERS UNRELATED PARTIES
Sometimes forgiveness has failed coz of too much exposure of the offense to parties who were never to be in the picture.The offense doesn’t need to come up in every conversation .see what Joseph did,remember his position-he was deputizing pharaoh and pharaoh had won his heart.When he recognized his brothers ,despite the hurt and his position,he did not expose the offense to his senior /boss pharaoh.He understood who pharaoh was.He knew pharaoh loved him and would kill them for the offense they did or judge the brothers harshly.How much of the offense have you exposed to your friends,pastors,colleagues…name them.some of them may hinder the process of forgiveness by killing the offender.Whenever Joseph confronted his brothers,he never did it in front of Egyptians,he put his brothers aside.
5.UNDERSTANDING THAT THE DESTINY OF THE OFFENDER IS IN THE GRACIOUS HAND OF GOD
See what Joseph told his brothers,”don’t be afraid,am not GOD…yes they hurt you but remember you are not God .put everything including the offender in GODS gracious hands,He knows how best to deal .Put your hands off the offender and let God.The bible says pray for them that offends you…IT’S A TALL ORDER I KNOW..but that’s what the bible command us.remember there is a difference in praying for them and praying about them….choose praying for them.
Disclaimer :Forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous…Just because you forgive some mistakes doesn’t mean the next minute you will be out for lunch,in bed or ……
Have a forgiving season