20/03/2015
MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD
READ THIS....***
“When I got home that night as my
wife served dinner, I
held her hand and said, I’ve got
something to tell you. She
sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her
eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open
my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce. I
raised the topic calmly. She didn’t
seem to be annoyed by
my words, instead she asked me
softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made
her angry. She threw
away the chopsticks and shouted at
me, you are not a
man! That night, we didn’t talk to
each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find
out what had
happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my
heart to Jane. I didn’t
love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted
a divorce agreement
which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and
30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore
it into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her
life with me had become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy
but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved Jane
so dearly. Finally she
cried loudly in front of me, which
was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The
idea of divorce which had obsessed
me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer
now.
The next day, I came back home very
late and found her
writing something at the table. I
didn’t have supper but
went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I
was tired after an eventful day with
Jane. When I woke up,
she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care
so I turned over and was asleep
again.
In the morning she presented her
divorce conditions: she
didn’t want anything from me, but
needed a month’s
notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one
month we both struggle to live as
normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son
had his exams in a
month’s time and she didn’t want to
disrupt him with our
broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she
had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out
bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every
day for the month’s duration I carry
her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she
was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together
bearable I accepted her odd
request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce
conditions. . She
laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd. No matter what
tricks she applies, she has to face
the divorce, she said
scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body
contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy
is holding mommy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense
of pain. From the
bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked
over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly; don’t tell our son
about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I
put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove
alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted
much more easily. She
leaned on my chest. I could smell
the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn’t
looked at this woman
carefully for a long time. I realized
she was not young any
more. There were fine wrinkles on
her face, her hair was
graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her. For a
minute I wondered what I had done
to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her
up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the
woman who had given
ten years of her life to me. On the
fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I
didn’t tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as
the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made
me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one
morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not
find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly
realized that she had grown so thin,
that was the reason
why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried
so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and
touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and
said, Dad, it’s time to
carry mom out. To him, seeing his
father carrying his
mother out had become an essential
part of his life. My
wife gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away
because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last
minute. I then held her
in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting
room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly
and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our
wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made
me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. I held
her tightly and said, I
hadn’t noticed that our life lacked
intimacy. I drove to
office…. jumped out of the car
swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would
make me change my
mind…I walked upstairs. Jane
opened the door and I said
to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the
divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and
then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She
said. I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I
said, I won’t divorce. My
marriage life was boring probably
because she and I
didn’t value the details of our lives,
not because we didn’t
love each other anymore. Now I
realize that since I
carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until death do
us apart. Jane seemed
to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into
tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away. At the
floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet of flowers for
my wife. The salesgirl
asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote,
I’ll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers
in my hands, a smile
on my face, I run up stairs, only to
find my wife in the bed
-dead. My wife had been fighting
CANCER for months and
I was so busy with Jane to even
notice. She knew that she
would die soon and she wanted to
save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our
son, in case we push
through with the divorce.— At least,
in the eyes of our son
—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are
what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion,
the car, property, the
money in the bank. These create an
environment
conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in
themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s
friend and do those little
things for each other that build
intimacy. Do have a real
happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Please share this so that we work together to save marriages. I will really appreciate if you do.
