26/05/2024
LEARNING AND PRESSING ON.
I have made mistakes but I am still growing. I have done things that I never thought I will do. I have spoken lies and given myself false confidence. I have hanged up and down with bad people. I have hated myself not once but severally. Things have happened in my life to lower my self esteem. My past has to some extent damaged and heart broken me. Insults and rejection at times have made me feel like quitting.
I have tried and failed, woken up and failed again. My faith has had eclipses now and then. Some moments I have felt down, so low to the depth of hell. I have listened and engaged onto negative energy at some points but one thing has always been constant in my life.
I have always woken up enthusiastically and gained momentum that has always made me move. Sorry, it is not me!!!
There has always been a force/voice that has ever battled me from within. This must be God because the voice has always been stronger than all the reasons I ever tried to give. Am speaking of the voice that show me the real identity I have in Christ. That comfort that the one in me is greater than the one in the world. Those moments that I feel more of Jephthah and Gideon (unworthiness, I don't deserve it, I am no better, I am weak) but the voice tells me that I am David ready to fight my Goliath ~ you come to me with spear and javelin but I come against you in the name of the Lord.
At times I want to mess up and dwell in the camp of wickedness but just like Joseph a voice whispers to me; I cannot do such a thing and sin against my God. That voice in David, better is a day in His presence than a thousand days elsewhere.
That voice that makes me forget my dark past like Paul and to fix my eyes on Jesus so as to press on towards the mark. When I want to quit and feel as if I am loosing, there is an undeniable force that tells me that I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.
I have nothing to go back for, I can't retreat, I am still learning and pressing
