16/07/2019
I remember before I tried he**in, I asked someone what it was like. They said “it’s like smoking w**d times 100. A nice warm/numb feeling, it’s the best feeling ever, idk how to explain it really” and they were right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what it’s like, I would tell them..
Its like spending every single penny you ever had, on drugs.
Its like going days without eating even though you were starving, but you needed he**in more.
Its like having to lie to every family and friend you had ever had.
It’s like lighting a whole pack of ci******es and never smoking one.
Its like waking up hating yourself from the shame and guilt.
Its like going into withdrawals every 8 hours unless you had more he**in to do. (And you usually didn’t)
Its like never attending any family event because you were too high.
Its like everyone eventually stopped inviting you to events. And even talking to you.
Its like everything was on your drug dealers time. If they said five hours. You’ll wait 10 or more.
It’s like being late to every single day of your life even if you started getting ready long before you were supposed to be somewhere.
Its like losing so much weight you can’t fit into any of your clothes.
Its like losing everything you’ve ever owned in your entire life.
Its like nobody believing a word you said, even if it was the truth.
Its like being a prisoner inside your own head.
Its like contemplating su***de every single day.
Its like never being scared to die, that’s what you wanted.
Its like trying to shut your brain up for even five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.
Its like seeing your family cry for you to stop, only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasn’t an option. It wasn’t possible.
Its like you’d do absolutely anything for more. And you did.
It’s like talking in circles for hours about absolutely nothing.
It’s like losing days,weeks,months, years off your life and not even realizing it happened.
It’s like living in places you’d never go before you did he**in with no power no running water.
Its like everyone hating you no matter where you went, because they knew you were a drug addict.
It’s like thinking everyone is out to get you and people can read your every thought
You'll miss out on your children an they'll be grown before you know it.. You'd kill for your child and do any an everything for them yet you won't be able to get clean for them and we actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most..
Its like overdosing and going to get high right after.
Its like walking into rehab 100 pounds with the clothes on your back and being scared to death.
Its like giving your entire life away..
So if you’re ever curious like I was, please at least know the truth. Curiosity killed the cat, and it’ll kill you too”
This is for anyone who has fought or still fighting this horrible battle.
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