21/08/2026
What if the results are not quite congratulatory stuff?
Let’s dig a little deeper because life for a teenager around exams can be hugely complex.
It’s true, all you can do is your best but the real difficulty lies in reaching your best. If you’re going to do your best you need to be at your best and that’s not easy for a teenager.
Remember, being before doing. The health of my being has a huge bearing on the health of my doing, always.
You were told repeatedly about the importance of these exams, about the need to “knuckle down” to “get on with it” but what if, inside, you were on the floor unable to pull yourself up.
It’s almost impossible to do your best if you’re troubled, if your head or your heart - perhaps even both - are not in good places.
What if you’re not even fully aware that you’re on the floor? Most likely as a teenager you’re not even aware there’s something “wrong” because you’ve grown to be like this - this is the normal me - and only in mature hindsight will you be able to see that you weren’t very “together” back then.
So, if the results are not the stuff that you want to “shout out loud” about, firstly, kindness and gentleness, you must be kind and gentle with yourself.
Sit with the experience for a while. This is you… becoming!
In the weeks and months ahead ponder why you didn’t do well? There’ll be those who’ll say you’re lazy. Perhaps. But more often than not I believe the real problems lie much deeper and laziness is a misdiagnosis, more like a symptom. That’s not to deny the existence of laziness though!
Bear in mind that you may need a little growth before you’ll be able to see the answer. Meanwhile, it will be essential to remain gentle and kind to yourself, and trust life to give you the answers when you’re ready for them. This growth into new realizations is the primary purpose of life.
Most importantly, don’t let this malaise (whatever its cause) determine your life. This malaise will pass. Everything will pass. Trust life. If you can’t trust life what are you going to trust? To not lose inner motivation is everything.
Decide to work with yourself, gently at first, small steps, develop “me” but do it at your pace, in your way. Remember that there are many doors into further education and new doors are opening all the time. It’s never too late. I gained a Bachelor of Arts degree in my thirties and a Masters for my fiftieth birthday!
If further study isn’t attractive turn your attention to mastering new skills. Use time, don’t let it slip away from you. If you’re struggling - you’ll know by the absence of motivation - you must somehow push yourself to begin, small steps, short commitments, and build up skills at your pace. I guarantee you’ll thank yourself in time.
Join the Civil Defence. It’s voluntary but you’ll learn skills.
Join the Order of Malta, the Red Cross. More skills on offer.
Develop the habit of a daily walk - daily so that you notice the grass and the crops growing!
Learn to swim - and qualify as a life-guard.
Start walking in the mountains, gain mountain navigation skills.
Learn to use a compass.
Join the local mountain rescue.
Learn to speak another language.
Learn to use a chainsaw! Why not? It’s a skill!
Learn to lay cement blocks. You don’t have to be a block-layer, just gain the skill.
Learn how to plaster a wall - just gain the skill. Why not?
Learn how to tile a wall, a floor.
Learn to to solder, to weld, you don’t have to have the papers, just gain the skill.
Get a bus Licence. Why not? You don’t have to use it, just gain the skill.
Get an articulated truck Licence. Again, you don’t have to use it, it’s just grabbing life, it’s using time well, it’s developing me.
Don’t let the malaises win. Push back against them, gently, and at a pace you can manage. The problem is not the exams or the results, the problem is always inside me.
