Open Way: Teen Therapy & Parent Coaching

08/09/2026

School avoidance advice I disagree with…

There’s no magic 5-step programme. School avoidance can improve quickly, I’ve seen it happen, but often the causes are complex and take time to understand.

Here’s some advice I often see online that can help but needs more nuance:

1. “They just need to face their fears.”
Exposure can help when anxiety is the main barrier. But if the issue is bullying, sensory overwhelm, unmet learning needs or an unsuitable environment, pushing them back in may increase distress.

2. “Lower all demands.”
Reducing demands can be essential during burnout—but recovery also involves gently supporting connection, refuelling and gradual re-engagement.

3. “It’s a parenting problem.”
Parents can support recovery, but they didn’t necessarily cause the problem. Support should empower parents, not blame them.

4. “It’s all about nervous-system regulation.”
Regulation matters, but young people don’t need to feel completely calm before taking a difficult step. Sometimes anxiety comes along with them.

School avoidance is rarely solved by one simple rule. The right support depends on the individual young person and what’s driving their distress.

06/09/2026

“I thought you promised me this wouldn’t happen again?”

“Why can’t you just do what I’ve asked you?!”

Sound familiar?

Do you want to have more peaceful exchanges with your teen, even when the 💩 hits the fan?

Try approaching the conversation with these two ingredients that I share with my parent clients 👩‍🍳

CURIOSITY — genuinely seeking to understand. Not what WE think happened, but what it was like from their perspective.

COLLABORATION — getting on the same team against the problem, rather than against one another. AND allowing them to take some ownership of the solution.

Give it a go and see what changes.

——————

Do you feel completely lost on how to support your anxious teen? Worried you’re pushing them too hard — or accidentally reinforcing their anxiety?

I work with parents just like you who want clear, evidence-based support to help their teen build a life that isn’t dictated by anxiety.
Click the link in my bio to book a free call with me and find out more about parent coaching

04/09/2026

When your teen is distressed about school, don’t just look at how hard it is to get them through the door. Notice what happens when they come back out.

Do they settle once they’re there and realise it wasn’t as bad as anxiety predicted?

Or do they come home shut down, overwhelmed or completely depleted?

It’s not a diagnostic tool, but it can give us important clues about whether we need to help them gradually face their anxiety, change what’s making school so hard or often, a bit of both.

02/09/2026

Parents of anxious teens- Back to school survival guide

31/08/2026

29/08/2026

Non judgement! They both come from love. And before I studied this stuff I was doing the same things… unfortunately teenagers don’t come with a manual.

1. Rescuing

What it looks like:
• Constant reassurance
• Stepping in
• Doing it for them
• Avoiding certain places or situations

Rescuing means treating what your teen is anxious about as an actual threat, when it’s a perceived threat.

When there’s a real threat, rescuing and stepping in is exactly the right response as a parent.

But anxiety is very good at convincing us that we can’t handle the things we’re worried about.

It might be uncomfortable. It might even be really distressing. But if it isn’t actually dangerous, repeatedly treating it like a threat can reinforce the message:

“You can’t handle this.”

And that can keep the anxiety cycle going.

2. Pushing

What it looks like:
• “There’s nothing to be worried about!”
• Forcing them into situations
• Invalidating or minimising their experience
• “You just need to do it.”

Pushing goes too far in the other direction.

We might think they need to push through and get over their fear, but when we don’t acknowledge how real and difficult the anxiety feels, our teen can end up digging their heels in even more.

Because they don’t feel understood.

Pressure doesn’t create lasting change.

So if rescuing isn’t the answer and pushing isn’t the answer… what IS?

That’s the bit I want to help parents with.

I’m currently working on a new guide for parents on what to do when your anxious teen is struggling but won’t accept help.

Comment GUIDE and I’ll make sure you’re the first to hear about it 💛

27/08/2026

1. I chose not to get into a battle with my brain

Arguing with my anxious thoughts never goes well… I’ve found it’s the number one thing that keeps me stuck. So what do I do instead?

🧠 BRAIN: “So what if you are actually existentially unsafe and everything is, in fact, awful?”

💁‍♀️ ME: “Thanks brain, for trying to keep me safe right now, but I’ve got this.”

🧠 BRAIN: “No but really… this is not good.”

💁‍♀️ ME: “Let’s see, shall we…” and then I carry on with what’s right in front of me.

No arguing. No trying to figure it out. No trying to prove my thoughts wrong. Just acknowledging them and bringing them along for the ride!

2. I gave myself space when I needed it

Anxiety is exhausting! My body feels it in a big way when I’m anxious. I need more sleep and rest.

What that looked like:

I took time out a few times to do a breathing exercise
I stopped using social media as much
I had naps when I could
I generally lowered the expectations on myself (left the washing until tomorrow etc.)

3. BUT I didn’t let anxiety call all the shots

I gave myself rest when I needed it, but I also didn’t withdraw from life. Withdrawing only perpetuates the cycle for me.

I went whilst anxious.

I still met my friend for a drink
I still took my kids out for play dates
I still went to my church group
I still went to work

When we stop life for anxiety, our brain quickly learns that anxiety gets to call the shots.

4. BUCKET LOADS of self-compassion

I didn’t berate myself for being anxious. I recognised that something had triggered me and made me feel unsafe. I normalised it for myself.

What that looked like:

Speaking to myself: “I get why you’re feeling anxious. It’s hard, and it always passes.”

Self-comfort: I love placing a hand on my heart and taking a few slow breaths.

Hit follow for more super practical tips on managing anxiety — for you and your teen.

25/08/2026

The more you try to make anxiety go away, the stickier it gets…

A metaphor I use CONSTANTLY with teens and parents is the Chinese finger trap.

Put your fingers in and your instinct is to pull. But the harder you pull, the tighter the trap gets and the more stuck you become.

Counterintuitively, the way out is to lean in. To stop pulling. And suddenly there’s enough space to get free.

Anxiety can work in a really similar way.

If your teen is constantly:

Trying to make anxious feelings go away
Avoiding things that might trigger anxiety or panic
Trying to get rid of distressing thoughts
Desperately trying to calm themselves down
Trying to replace negative thoughts with positive ones

…they can end up locked in a constant battle with anxiety.

The more important it becomes to NOT feel anxious, the more powerful anxiety becomes.

And as parents, we can get caught in the finger trap too.

We might find ourselves:

Constantly reassuring
Challenging their anxious thoughts
Stepping in to rescue them
Rearranging life around their anxiety
Pressuring them to “just get through it”

All really understandable responses.

But they can unintentionally reinforce the message:

“This anxiety is important. I need to do something about it.”

So what if we dropped the struggle?

What if we stopped arguing with anxiety, stopped making calm the goal and stopped letting anxiety call all the shots?

What if we helped our teens discover:

I can feel anxious AND still do the things that matter to me.

Because sometimes the biggest shift isn’t getting rid of anxiety.

It’s changing our relationship with it.

And as a parent, YOU can start making that shift, even if your teen won’t engage in therapy themselves.

I’m creating a new guide for parents:

What To Do When Your Anxious Teen Won’t Get Help

It’ll help you understand what keeps anxiety going, how your responses can influence the cycle, and how to help your teen grow bigger than anxiety without rescuing, pressuring or letting anxiety control family life.

Comment GUIDE and I’ll make sure you’re the first to hear when it’s ready.

18/08/2026

1. Encourage them to do a breathing exercise

I’m not anti-breathing exercises. They can be really helpful when practised outside of panic.

But in the middle of a panic attack, saying “slow your breathing” or “remember your breathing exercise” may just go down like a lead balloon.

It can become another thing they feel they need to do to make the panic stop and if it doesn’t work, they may feel even more panicked.

2. Reassure them over and over

“It’s okay.”
“Don’t worry.”
“You’re fine.”
“Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Of course we want to reassure them. But repeated reassurance can accidentally teach their brain:

“I need someone else to tell me I’m safe before I can cope with this feeling.”

Instead, I want to communicate something closer to:

“I know this feels really scary. I’m right here with you. Your body is having a big alarm response, and I trust that you can ride this out.”

3. Try to stop the panic attack

This is probably the biggest one.

When everyone starts scrambling to make the panic disappear, we can inadvertently reinforce the idea that panic itself is dangerous.

And that can create a second layer of fear:

“Panic is dangerous, I need to make it stop, why isn’t it stopping?!”

Instead of making the goal getting rid of the panic, make the goal helping your teen feel supported while their nervous system does what nervous systems do: rise, peak and eventually settle.

You don’t have to fix the panic.

Sometimes the most powerful message you can give your teen is:

“This is really horrible and you can handle it. I’m here with you while it passes.”

If you’re parenting an anxious teen and often find yourself wondering “Am I helping… or accidentally feeding the anxiety?” that’s exactly the kind of thing I talk about here.

Follow for practical, anxiety-informed support for parents of teens. 🤍

12/08/2026

1. Sometimes it can look worse before it gets better.

Therapy for anxiety will, at some point, involve your teen getting more in touch with anxious thoughts and feelings and gradually facing the things anxiety has taught them to avoid.

That can mean their anxiety temporarily increases as they start taking brave steps.

It doesn’t necessarily mean therapy isn’t working. Sometimes it means they’re beginning to do the work that helps their world get bigger.

2. A good therapist isn’t trying to eliminate their anxiety.

My goal isn’t to teach your teen how to never feel anxious again.

It’s to help them build a different relationship with anxiety, where anxiety can show up without getting to call all the shots.

Because success isn’t “I don’t feel anxious anymore.”

It’s “I feel anxious AND I can still do the things that matter to me.”

3. Your involvement can make a huge difference.

Some of the most important therapeutic work happens outside the therapy room.

And parent involvement doesn’t necessarily mean sitting in on your teen’s sessions.

It might look like:

→ practising tools together at home
→ getting some parent coaching yourself
→ noticing your own relationship with anxiety
→ changing how you respond when your teen is anxious
→ learning when to support and when anxiety is asking you to rescue or accommodate

Your teen might spend one hour a week with their therapist.

They spend the other 167 hours in their real life. that’s where we want the work of therapy to start taking root.

And what if your teen isn’t ready to engage with therapy at all?

There is still so much you can do as a parent to help shift the cycle of anxiety, without forcing, convincing or waiting for them to be ready.

That’s exactly what my new parent guide ‘What To Do When Your Anxious Teen Won’t Accept Help’ is designed to help you with.

It will show you practical shifts you can start making at home to support your teen, even if they won’t step foot in a therapy room.

Comment GUIDE below and I’ll send you the details when it’s available. 🤍