04/06/2024
Things Seminary does not explicitly teach you: patience and a delight in the absurd.
Thursday in church:
Failing water heater washing up after midday Mass; realised it was lack of water pressure after the evening Sung Mass (+ etc) when we also found four toilet cisterns were not refilling.
Friday morning:
Contacted Business Stream, who told me to contact Scottish Water, who told me to contact Business Stream, who told me to contact Scottish Water, who told me it was nothing to do with them and to call a plumber.
Monday morning:
Plumber found this notice at the street stopcock, which shuts off the church, church hall, and a neighbouring scientific research firm. We had received no communication about this at all. The number for Business Stream given on the notice thanks you for calling, says 'goodbye', then hangs up. Found another number; Business Stream told me it was nothing to do with them and to call Scottish Water; we then replayed Friday morning's game of ping-pong for a while, with neither firm having any record of an order to turn the water off being given. They sent someone to find out what was going on.
Monday afternoon:
An employee of Scottish Water arrived, looked at the notice, and told our neighbour that it was shut off because the church had not paid a bill. Neighbour, who had sent his staff home, made frustrated call to church Treasurer, who assured him that we were not in arrears. More calls to Business Stream and messages to Scottish Water, the latter denying any responsibility again, the former assuring me that the matter had been escalated for urgent resolution.
Tuesday mid morning:
Tried the water in the church hall, naively assuming it would be back on. Called Business Stream again for 40 minutes, who told me everything I knew already (we were not in arrears, the water had been turned off but there was no record of an instruction being given) but this time no offer to send someone was made, so I suggested I turn the valve back on myself. This took about a minute, with the grateful neighbour watching, checked church complex to ensure no taps left on, then got on with my day off.
Letter of complaint in preparation, largely written while on hold to Business Stream this morning. Time phoning, messaging, calming down neighbour etc: 5+ hours. Our neighbour and I would like to meet G. F. with purely charitable intent. Honest guv'.