06/09/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1Z2VTxa4FY/
Just because someone might need this
When my littlest boy was in my womb, they found something wrong with his kidneys.
I remember the exact moment. The sonographer went quiet, put the device down, and tilted her head at the screen. They must teach that head tilt at sonogram school.
His kidneys weren't working properly. They couldn't tell us how bad until he was born and big enough for a contrast scan. So we waited. Weeks of not knowing if our son would need surgery, dialysis, or worse.
Then came the paediatric test waiting room. Bright colours on the walls. Nurses who are relentlessly, professionally cheerful. Toys everywhere, the good ones, the ones your kids never get at home. Everyone is completely alone in it, even surrounded by other terrified parents doing the same fake smile at their kids.
I am a priest. I have prayed over hundreds of people in hospital rooms. I could not pray in that room. I sat there with my husband, holding a toy giraffe and there were no words. None. I didn't even know what to ask for. Please let him be okay felt too small and too big at the same time.
Was God there?
Yeah. He was there the whole way through.
I don't think God fixed it from a distance, watching a screen somewhere like the sonographer did. I think God was in it, the way a parent is in it when their child is suffering and they can't do a single thing to stop it except stay.
God knows what it is like to have a child suffer. Watching him on that cross. God knows what it is like to have a child die. He has stood in that exact waiting room. The worst version of it. The one none of us want to walk into. He knows.
A friend of mine is there right now. Actually, while I'm writing this, she's sitting waiting to find out about her kid. She is all I can think about. For her and all the parents in that room right now, holding toys and unable to pray. God, be with them. Be with them the way you were with us. Be with her. Please.
Bless you,
Rev Jessie
PS: My littlest boy was fine and is a grumpy teenager now.
If this landed for you, would you share it to your story? I know, it's vulnerable. But it's how this finds the people who need it most.