10/04/2026
Overcoming a spirit of offence: A teaching by the Reverend Canon Brett Murphy.
“Spirit of Offence”
Lately I had cause to reflect on something destructive we see in church life, a pattern of being easily offended, quick to assume the worst, and slow to forgive. Scripture speaks about this in a powerful way. In the New Testament, the word often translated as “offence” comes from the Greek word 'skandalon' meaning a trap or snare, which gives us a good window into why having a "spirit of offence" is so dangerous for our discipleship. Jesus Himself warns, “It is impossible that no offences should come…” (Luke 17:1), but what matters is how we respond when they do.
A “spirit of offence” isn’t just about a moment of hurt it becomes a posture of the heart. It shows up as constant irritation, taking things personally, replaying conversations, and quietly holding onto resentment. Proverbs reminds us, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence” (Proverbs 19:11). Yet when pride or insecurity take root, even small matters can feel like deep wounds.
Left unchecked, this spirit becomes destructive. Hebrews 12:15 warns us to see that “no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Offence doesn’t stay contained it spreads. It divides friendships, damages marriages, and weakens the unity of the Body of Christ. What may begin as a misunderstanding can quickly grow into distance, suspicion, and ultimately separation.
So how do we deal with it?
We start with forgiveness. Not as a feeling, but as a decision “forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). We guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), choosing not to dwell on perceived slights. We embrace humility, remembering that we do not always see clearly, and that love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5). And sometimes, we simply let things go refusing to magnify what God calls us to overlook.
Here’s the hard truth: when offence takes hold, many people don’t deal with it, they leave it to fester like a rotting wound. Instead of seeking reconciliation, they withdraw. Instead of submitting to loving correction or church discipline (Matthew 18:15–17), they move on, often carrying the same wounds into the next place. This is why unresolved offence becomes a destructive cycle. Worryingly, offended people frequently try to recruit others to their twisted worldview and cause disunity within churches in a desperate attempt at justifying their sin. Often times the offended person will leave a church before facing their flaws and repenting, becoming the masters of the victim narrative as they hop from one fellowship to another.
But the gospel calls us to something better. Not avoidance, but repentance. Not division, but restoration. If we are to grow as disciples, we must be people who are not easily offended, quick to forgive, and willing to be corrected. That is where true freedom is found and where the Church becomes a place of real maturity, not just comfort.
Let’s be people who refuse the trap.
