14/02/2024
Valetines Day, Saint Valentinus and the Cost of Love
After just setting aside the 2-month long Christmas/New Year hullabaloo, we come face to face with another one: Valentines’ Day! What? All shopping centers are giving special sales and ads because of it. E mails, SMS messages and other commercials are encouraging us to shop. We have come to such a point that if you do not remember your ‘lover’ - and that means buying that person a valuable gift – it’s as if all your effort and love for the year was wasted. The general conviction is that “Valentines’ Day” is a special day for romantic couples. At the end of the day it seems to me the ones who benefit the most from this day are “cunning sales personnel.” We just have to ask the question: from where did Valentines’ Day come? What is its purpose? What is its message? What should the Christian’s perspective be?
If we look at the reality behind Valentines’ Day becoming almost entirely a commercialized celebration it helps us see just how far we have corrupted the actual essence of the day. Valentines Day’s original story concerns a 4th century Roman priest and martyr named Saint Valentinus. Feb 14 is actually the remembrance of his martyrdom. So what exactly is the connection with Valentines’ day today?
Let me start out by saying the knowledge we have about Saint Valentinus is somewhat confused. Our certain historic information is that a priest named Valentinus lived in Rome during the reign of Claudius Gothicus II (268 - 270) and was martyred on Feb 14. In addition there are statements about another Valentinus who lived in another city. Emperor Claudius, in order to keep his army strong and disciplined to stand against the Barbarian invasion, banned all his male soldiers from getting married. In spite of this, Valentinus continued to marry Christian soldiers and refused to cut off support and help to these soldiers. He was arrested because of this. At first the Emperor was sympathetic with Valentinus; however when Valentinus refused to recant his faith and instead invited the Emperor to believe, he was martyred.
Today’s Valentines’ Day is quite secular and has become a toy in the hands of commercial powers, yet at the core of this meaningful and important day lies the faith of one who stood against this very corruption. This man was confronted with both his faith and godly values, as well as all the things the emperor placed before him; this man chose to stand faithfully with God and against compromise with corruption at the cost of his own life. Unfortunately this holy man’s actions have been corrupted and turned into a basic gift exchange between couples.
I believe for Christians that the lesson we can draw from Saint Valentinus is more than remembering our lovers, but learning to live without compromise and protecting our faith in the face of similar or the same corruption.
For Christians love does not consist simply of the ‘romantic’ love between couples. The source of love is God himself. The apostle John says “God so loved the world He gave His only begotten son.” God’s love is always seen in actions. Later John similarly invites us to love one another: “whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” This is the love that lies beneath Saint Valentinus’ obedience that regarded his own life as nothing. It was a love toward God and others, a love that gives and sacrifices. This love is not simply ‘romance’ and ‘falling in love.’ Showing this love to all those around us – family, siblings, work mates, the man on the street – pleases God. In other words if we want to truly celebrate Saint Valentinus’ day let’s see everybody as our “lover.” Let’s not limit this love to that love between couples. Let’s also remember: this type of love has a cost, that which we saw in Saint Valentinus’ life.
Fr Engin YILDIRIM
