15/07/2026
Well worth remembering…..
Last week I took a funeral.
Pretty normal for me.
No personal attachment to the deceased though I did see something of a reconciliation between siblings which was beautiful.
Anyway: everything’s fine. I feel I did a good job, I go home, everything’s normal.
Cooking dinner hours later i suddenly burst into tears.
Calling up my sister all emotional like “I LOVE YOU GUYS I’M SORRY I’M NOT ROUND ENOUGH” (maybe not quite that dramatic!)
Then it passes. I calm down.
I’m totally fine again and I’m like: “what the f**k was that?”
Why am I telling you this?
Because the emotional support we offer for our parishioners, for our communities, takes a toll on us.
Our care for you comes at a cost.
As we walk with you through your pain, grief and hardship we absorb some of it.
Your vicar (minister, pastor, whatever) is probably working really hard and doing their absolute best to care for you.
You may not think they’re the best vicar you’ve ever had.
You may not always agree with them.
You may not even like them.
But 99% of us really sincerely care for you and we really are trying our best and we’re paying a price for it.
Try to be kind to them. Try to appreciate that they’re real human beings with real feelings and that they often make very real sacrifices and subject themselves to grief, stress, pain and trauma on a daily basis, often ignoring fatigue and exhaustion, because they genuinely care.
It’s an amazing job. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
But it’s not always an easy one.
Look after your clergy (especially if you’re one of mine!)
Ps. Here’s me in my funeral suit for the sake of followers who don’t know me personally: I am capable of looking like a priest I just don’t usually try.