Cherished Memories - Funeral Celebrant

10/09/2026

Interesting - I didn’t know there was a term for it.

Most people don't know grief researchers actually have a name for the wave that hits you out of nowhere, years after a loss, for no clear reason at all.

Psychologist and grief researcher Therese Rando coined the term STUG reaction back in the early 1990s, short for a subsequent temporary upsurge of grief. It describes exactly what it sounds like, a sudden, intense wave of sadness or emotion tied to someone you lost, showing up long after you thought that grief had settled. Rando herself compared it to being out in calm water and then getting knocked over by one unexpected wave.

What makes the concept useful is that it normalizes something a lot of people quietly worry means they're doing something wrong. These upsurges can happen even after grief has been carefully and fully processed, and they tend to show up more often when something about the original loss was left unresolved or incomplete.

It doesn't mean you're back at square one. It just means grief doesn't always move in one direction. 🌊

Has grief ever caught you completely off guard like that, long after you thought you'd made peace with it?

17/08/2026

Sometimes, you don’t need to find the right words, walking alongside someone can be enough 🤍.

Join us for a gentle, informal stroll around Cosmeston Lakes Country Park, offering space to walk, talk, remember or simply be alongside others who understand.

📅 Thursday 10th September
🕚 11-1pm
📍 Cosmeston Lakes Country Park (meet by the public toilets near the main car park).

No need to book & you’re welcome to bring a friend. Well-behaved dogs are welcome too! 🐾

Weithiau, does dim angen dod o hyd i’r geiriau cywir, gall cerdded ochr yn ochr â rhywun fod yn ddigon 🤍.

Ymunwch â ni am daith gerdded hamddenol ac anffurfiol o amgylch Parc Gwledig Llynnoedd Cosmeston, gan greu lle i gerdded, siarad, cofio neu fod yng nghwmni eraill sy’n deall.

📅 Dydd Iau 10 Medi
🕚 11-1yp
📍 Parc Gwledig Llynnoedd Cosmeston (cyfarfod wrth y toiledau cyhoeddus ger y prif faes parcio).

Does dim angen archebu, a chroeso i chi ddod â ffrind. Mae cŵn sy’n ymddwyn yn dda hefyd yn cael croeso! 🐾

31/07/2026

So true.

Love to anyone navigating through grief. 💫

No One Warned Me About the Secondary Losses

When someone dies, we expect to grieve them.

What we don't expect are the dozens—sometimes hundreds—of smaller losses that quietly follow.

No one warned me that I would also grieve...
..having no one to share ordinary moments with.
..losing the person who knew my history better than anyone else.
..making every decision alone.
..holidays that would never feel the same.
..inside jokes that no one else would understand.
..the future we had planned together.
..the sound of hearing my name spoken in their voice.
..the loss of feeling like part of a couple.
..the person I used to be before grief changed me.

These are called secondary losses, and they can be just as painful as the primary loss itself.

They're often invisible to everyone else.

Friends see the funeral is over and assume the hardest part has passed.

But secondary losses keep unfolding...

Weeks later.

Months later.

Even years later.

Each new milestone, holiday, life event, or ordinary Tuesday can uncover another loss you never imagined you'd have to grieve.

If you've ever wondered why your grief seems to keep changing...

Or why you're suddenly devastated by something that seems "small"...

You're not grieving too much.

You're discovering another piece of what was lost.

And that's a normal part of loving someone deeply.

Be patient with yourself.

Grief isn't just learning to live without the person.

It's learning to live with all the losses their absence created. ❤️

18/06/2026

Don’t know who wrote this but it’s beautiful 💫

10/05/2026

Some changes stay with you forever.

06/05/2026

This sounds wonderful. I’m hoping to be able to make the next one 💫

Join us for a stroll around Cosmeston Lakes and make some space to think about someone you are missing

26/04/2026

I wish I had seen this when I still had my mum and dad - never waste the opportunity to make memories with the ones you love 💕

22/04/2026

Always a pleasure to work with this wonderful team of gentlemen 💫

At Vale Funeral Services, we understand that saying goodbye is one of life’s most personal journeys. There is no "right" way to celebrate a legacy—only the way that feels right for you and your family

Whether you are looking for a grand farewell or a quiet moment of reflection, we are here to guide you with compassion, dignity, and choice.

🕊 Our Services
We offer a range of options tailored to every wish or request.

✨ Bespoke Funerals: A truly unique celebration of life, customised to reflect the personality, hobbies, and spirit of your loved one.

🎩 Traditional Funerals: Classic services with a hearse, pallbearers, and a formal ceremony that honours long-standing customs.

🌿 Woodland Burials: A beautiful, eco-friendly alternative in a natural setting for those who felt a deep connection to the earth.

🙏 Unattended Cremations: A simple, respectful, and dignified option for those who prefer a private farewell without a formal service or attendees.

21/04/2026

20/04/2026

Let’s start the conversation that so many people avoid. Talking about death, dying & bereavement can help us feel more prepared, supported and less alone.

Join us at Penarth Library for information, support & friendly conversation 📚.

Everyone is welcome🤍.

Dechreuwn y sgwrs mae cynifer yn ei hosgoi. Gall siarad am farwolaeth, marw a phrofedigaeth ein helpu i deimlo’n fwy parod ac yn llai unig.

Ymunwch â ni yn Llyfrgell Penarth ar 6 Mai, 10yb–3yp, am wybodaeth, cefnogaeth a sgwrs gyfeillgar 📚.

Mae croeso i bawb🤍.