26/11/2025
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘
What is marriage
🟤Marriage is God’s idea.
🟤When He made man and gave him a task, He said ‘it is not good that man should be alone.
🟤 I’ll make him a helpmeet’. God saw that for man to succeed in the task, he needed someone of the opposite gender to which he was covenanted.
🟤One hears often, ‘am old enough to be married’ supposing that to be ready to marry depends mainly on numerical age.
🟤From God’s account, to be ready to marry, you should have a God-given task for which you need help.
🟤It means also that you ‘choose’ your helpmeet based on the task you received from God.
The notion of helpmeet from Genesis looks like only the woman is a helpmeet.
🟤Far from the truth! Every Christian received a task from God for which they’d render account at the Judgment Seat of Christ.
🟤Recall that the scripture says there is neither male nor female in Christ.
🟤The man is as much a helpmeet to the woman as the woman is to the man.
𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 & 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇
🟤A. Purpose & Reasons For Marriage
In Genesis 2:1-3, 7-9, 15-25, we see two very important principles:
🟤1. Marriage was instituted by God and not man: It was not Adam that went to meet God to ask for a wife because he was lonely and needed someone to cook for him.
🟤It was God himself that said that it is not good for man to be alone.
🟤In fact, to help Adam realize that he needed a mate, God subsequently paraded all the animals in front of Adam (Genesis 2:19-20). So marriage is not man’s idea but God’s idea and if it is God’s idea, we can then conclude that God is more interested in you
getting married than you are!
🟤2. The purpose of marriage is for you to be joined with someone of the opposite gender who would help you fulfil God’s calling and responsibilities in your life:
🟤A purpose is the reason for being; it is the end to which something was created or made.
🟤God gave Adam an assignment before He said that Adam needed a helpmeet.
🟤We can deduce that the help meet was to help Adam fulfil the responsibilities God gave to him in Genesis 2:15-17 since the declaration that he needed help came in verse 18.
🟤Therefore, anyone who intends to marry ought to know the purpose to which God has called him/her and is working that purpose before such a person should consider being joined to a helpmeet.
🟤Marriage is primarily to help you serve God better.
🟤This spiritual purpose of marriage comes before all other secondary purposes.
🟤The secondary reasons for marriage include:
⭐️Having godly seeds (children); a godly family is the smallest unit or cell
of the Church (Psalms 68:6)
⭐️Companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12); Companionship in this instance
should not connote having someone physically by your side all the time but someone of like mind who is working with you towards common goals regardless of where he/she is physically located at any point in time.
⭐️Abstaining from fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2); Marriage provides the only avenue where legitimate sexual desires can be channelled alright.
🟤Though these are the most commonly stated reasons for marriage, they are secondary reasons and should not overshadow the primary purpose of marriage, which is to have someone of the opposite gender help you fulfil your God-given responsibilities.
🟤These secondary reasons can be likened to side effects that are associated with most medicines.
🟤They are part of the package but not the main reason for taking the medicine.
🟤One of the issues we face in our generation is that we see people marrying for the side effects rather than for the primary ailment. For instance someone taking a cough syrup whose side effect is drowsiness in other to sleep and not because he/she has a cough!
🟤From these principles, we can see that readiness for marriage is determined primarily by how involved in spiritual things the parties are than by how old chronologically they are.
🟤So someone who is not yet accountable for specific responsibilities in God’s house is not yet ready for marriage.
🟤Spiritual responsibilities start from the lowest level – the first prerequisite is that you must be a regular and consistent member of your unit or cell group! If you cannot pass the faithfulness test at this level – you will never get bigger responsibilities from God (Luke 16:10).
🟤B. The Role of The Church
The Church expects to be involved in relationships before they are even contracted i.e.
⭐️For the man – you should have received appropriate counsel before
proposing.
⭐️For the lady – you should also have received appropriate counsel before
accepting.
🟤This is not always the case but even then the Church expects to be the first port of call after the relationship is contracted and not the parents.
🟤Life is first spiritual before it is physical.
🟤The time to get parents involved is after you are through with the Church – then the blessings received from the Church can go before and prepare the way as you go to the parents.
🟤This may not be what you are used to but if you remember that marriage is ordained of God to fulfil God’s purpose for you and that the Church is the pillar and ground of truth; then you ought to know that in your life’s dealings, God’s perspective is more important than family, friends and the society.
🟤The Church is not a place where you simply come to ‘rent’ the building and the ministers for the sole purpose of the wedding ceremony! In other words, you do not come after everything has been concluded traditionally/with the parents etc. and all you just need now is a Church to hold a wedding ceremony.
🟤You require time to get the Church fully involved – you have to pass through formal counselling classes and direct discussion sessions with your intended spouse.
🟤All aspects of the relationship must be discussed in depth with the relevant Church officials before a wedding date can be set. And this will take time! This is why couples are always advised to start with the Church early.
🟤Coming today and wanting to get married next month will not work in a proper Church.
🟤Your attitude to Church matters. The Church MUST confirm your choice of marriage partner irrespective of how strong your convictions are. One reason for this is that convictions can be wrong.
🟤But the primary reason is that just as your eyes are in your head, the head or leadership of the Church can see some things you cannot see.
🟤For instance, as long as your hand remains a hand, it cannot see what your eyes can see.
Details of some specific requirements and procedures have already been circulated.
🟤C. Why Some Marriages Fail
As shocking as this may sound, it is NOT automatic for marriages between Christians to work out.
🟤Just the same way as it is not automatic for every Christian to be prosperous or healthy etc though the provision has been made so also with marriage.
🟤The number one cause of distress in homes is ignorance – ignorance of the Word of God. The Bible is the manual for life.
🟤You do not need books and instructions on ‘How to make your marriage work’ as much as you need to continuously deepen your knowledge of God’s Word – in all areas of life.
🟤Marriage seminars are not the issue as much as Word seminars.
🟤That is why a marriage in which one or both partners do not have time to attend services will end up with problems.
🟤By the way, this is the reason for marriage counselling classes.
🟤These classes are to look at various aspects of the Word of God and how to apply them in a marriage as well as other aspects of life.
🟤Another related reason is that couples try to build their marriage solely on the ‘love’ they feel for each other.
🟤They assume that such love transcends spiritual authority so do not bother to involve the Church with their marriage decisions.
🟤The Bible says that any foundation other than God’s Word will not stand the test of time.
🟤Yet another reason is that Marriage is Holy Ground. In Exodus 3:1-5, God appeared to Moses in the burning bush and the very first thing God asked him to do was to take off his shoes because he was (now) on Holy Ground.
🟤A deeper revelation of this is that when you are dealing with God, you need to be careful – you do not just walk (or behave) anyhow in a thing or a place where God is. Marriage, since it was ordained of God, is Holy Ground and you walk into it and behave in it very carefully.
🟤An aspect of this is that you do not enter marriage with the attitude ‘if it does not work, I’ll get a divorce’.
🟤You are already on the wrong path!
🟤If you cannot have the attitude that Ruth had towards her mother-in law Naomi in Ruth 1:16-18 then it would be wise not to go ahead. And this attitude should be both ways.
