09/08/2026
I have been told that it is odd that as a Christian minister, I like horror films. But I do. I am not into slasher films, which strike me as a just a celebration of gory violence for its own sake. But give me a film that makes my skin crawl with unease, and I’m in. If part of my calling is to have insights into human nature, then horror films are a great place to go. They scare us because they reveal our deepest anxieties. But something interesting has happened to horror films lately: they’re not about monsters, aliens or supernatural creatures. Now, what scares young movie goers is something that used to be normal: long term romantic relationships.
When I was growing up, horror films were usually about teenagers or s*x, usually both. Most of the popular films, like the Hallowe’en series or The Nightmare on Elm Street, and later, the Scream movies, featured young people in high school or college who were coming of age and wanted to get laid. Sometimes it was too soon, sometimes it was just in the air, other times it was with the wrong person. The anxiety of who to have s*x with was then externalized into some kind of murderous monster tearing young bodies apart in a small town. This wasn’t a new theme - Dracula movies were always implicitly about s*x, something the later Twilight series milked to death, as it were. S*x and horror went together like peanut butter and jam.
But in the past few years, horror films have changed. Films aimed at people in their 20s and 30s now focus on the anxiety of getting into a committed romantic relationship. For example, in last year’s film Together, a young straight couple get afflicted by a local curse which causes their bodies to literally stick together. The anxiety of sticking with your partner “‘till death do us part” becomes explicit and terrifying.
Then there are films where young men want a relationship focused on their needs, but which go horribly wrong. The breakout hit Obsession is an incel nightmare. A young man loves a woman in his friend group, but he lacks the guts and relationship savvy to express his true feelings. So, when he finds a magical box in a curio shop, he decides to see if it really can grant wishes. He asks for her to be obsessed with him, to the exclusion of all others. A bubbly, intelligent, independent young woman slowly becomes utterly, dangerously devoted to this underserving man, with all sorts of horrifying complications. The same kind of dynamic is at work in the film Companion, where a seemingly nice guy’s relationship with his utterly devoted young partner turns out to be much creepier than it seems. In both films, the men seem like nice guys, but they are revealed as utterly shallow, unable to make real relationships work. They can’t handle real women, but their desire for cloying devoted women backfire in terrible ways.
It is no coincidence that the rise of these kinds of movies coincides with the decline of the classic romantic comedy film. In 2019, 42 percent of single people under forty had never been in a committed relationship. By contrast, in the 1950s most straight people usually got married by age 23, and were having babies by age 24. That stage of life is now delayed well into the 30s for many people, if it happens at all. Romantic comedy films rely on the assumption that falling in love and having a long term relationship is a good thing. But, Covid, social media and screen addiction have seriously impaired the younger generations’ ability to socialize and to date. Relationships which were once inevitable and desirable are now seen as a strange and scary deviation from single life, and one which may not be worth it.
This problem is now infiltrating even non-horror films. Just check out The Drama, where marrying Zendaya of all people becomes a problem, or The Materialists where even the beautiful Pedro Pascal and Dakota Johnson have a hard time getting together. A committed long-term relationship, not s*x, is what scares young people now, and it is showing up in films that might have had happy endings in a previous generation. There is no simple answer to this. But, it would certainly help if the Internet stopped promising men impossibly submissive women, and if young men took the risk of getting to know real women in all their complexity. They are much more interesting and worth knowing - and loving. Peace.
- Rev. Stephen Milton, Lawrence Park Community Church, Toronto