02/27/2025
Matapitu upathanam - Taking care of the parents.
Parents are regarded as people worthy of respect and honour in all religions, even for atheists. This is a time-honored tradition from early civilizations of mankind. In Buddhism they are equivalents of Triple Gem, the highest in reverence.
Mother is the one who brings one to life after months of pregnancy and the sufferings of childbirth. She is the source of love, care and protection in the upbringing of her child. Father is the one involved in procreation. He is the source of security and providence with love and care in the upbringing of his child. He is usually the breadwinner of the family. Love of mother and father are immense, just like water in big rivers that flows downstream only.
For above gratitude, one is morally bound to be taking care of them especially in their old age when they are weak and frail. Chance to be taking care of them is considered a noble deed which carries good karmic effects which is praised by man and deity alike. Disregarding them is seen as disgrace, if not as a sin, in any society. But there are situations when such fulfillments are lacking but the parents usually forgive this, as they always do. The fulfillment of parental needs also has to be done with love and willingness to be of exalted value, not just casually out of obligation.
The old saying is " It is not too difficult for two parents to take care of ten children, but there is difficulty for ten children to take care of two parents". It is true in many cases where grownup children with their own families are struggling hard for their own. It will not be fair for parents to force an extra burden on their children. After all, what parents expect from their children is only respect, which is sometimes hard to come by for various reasons.
Is it the work of karma? Not every parent could have treated their own parents in their time. For one who is doing a bad action now causes a bad karma for himself/herself, but one who is getting a bad karmic effect now, is the result of his/her past deeds. So, blame no one but yourself. Taking care of parents is blessing.