08/26/2026
🌷Blog Post -
What Should a Mom Do When She’s Not Appreciated by Her Children?
https://pqcanada.org/8-26-2026/
Why do children tend to project their anger toward their mother? Perhaps it’s because the mother always carries the role of a caregiver, and she tends to be forgiving all the time. Yet, that does not mean mothers would not feel hurt when children become angry or rude. Dr. Agnes Ip shares three tips that may help mothers deal with their kids’ lack of appreciation and negative emotions.
🟣1. Self value and self care
Every person needs to learn how to care for and value themselves. While our family’s opinion of us are certainly important, they do not define our worth. As mothers, we do not need to devote every second of our time, energy, and attention to our children. Doing so can place a heavy burden on them. If a mother does not continue to develop her own interests and identity, she may gradually feel that she knows nothing beyond caring for her child, become insecure, and even lose appreciation for herself. In this emotional state, even an occasional negative comment can be enough to hurt a mother deeply, even if her children may not necessarily dislike her. Therefore, mothers need to learn to value and care for themselves. While giving to their children, they should also make time to do things that bring meaning and fulfillment to their lives, helping them recognize that their lives are precious and valuable.
🟣2. Healthy boundaries in the parent-child relationship
Mothers who have been accustomed to caring for their children from a young age often forget that their children have grown up, so they continue trying to meet their needs. However, as children grow older, what they know and experience may be very different from their parents’ culture and life experiences. As a result, mothers may not always understand their children’s perspectives. When a mother is used to offering lots of advice, but her children feel that her advice is no longer relevant and choose to ignore it, how should she respond?
One approach is to first establish three levels of parent-child boundaries:
⭐i. Things parents must be involved in and address
⭐ii. Things parents may be involved in and discuss
⭐iii. Things parents do not need to be involved in or manage (areas that belong to the children themselves)
Many parents feel that the third option does not even exist—they want to intervene and take care of everything. This can create a great deal of pressure for their children, making them feel that their parents do not trust them. As a result, children may become increasingly reluctant to share things with their parents, worrying that saying too much will lead to more restrictions and make their lives more difficult. Therefore, mothers should clarify with their children which matters require parental involvement and explain why; which matters can be discussed together; and which matters belong to the children’s own domain. When these boundaries are clearly defined, children will also learn to respect them.
At the same time, adults should be careful not to share too much of their own personal problems with their children, especially conflicts in their marriage or relationships with relatives and friends. Children may not have the ability to process such complicated emotions, and this may instead cause them to distance themselves further from their parents. If parents do need to share, they should avoid unloading their emotions onto their children, so as not to place an emotional burden on them that they are unable to bear.
🟣3. Learn to listen, express your feelings, and accept your child’s emotions
As children grow older, they begin to develop their own thoughts and opinions. This does not mean they love their mothers any less. As their perspectives grow further apart, conflicts can arise, and words spoken in frustration may hurt one another. If a mother insists on her own views, her child may easily feel rejected, leading to greater misunderstandings. Therefore, mothers need to learn to affirm their own worth. Whether or not their children accept their opinions, they are still valuable. When mothers remain calm when dealing with differences of opinion, their children will feel heard, and the parent-child relationship can grow closer.
When children speak loudly or disrespectfully, or even cross our boundaries, parents should remain calm and clearly point out that such behavior can hurt their relationship. Ask them to stop immediately, and arrange another time to discuss how to handle their different perspectives. At the same time, parents should understand that children also experience negative emotions and may feel disappointed or hurt. Parents can tell their children that something they said or did may have made them feel misunderstood or unsupported, while reassuring them that they love them deeply and are trying to understand their perspective. When a child’s feelings of disappointment are acknowledged, they will feel accepted and more willing to express themselves openly.
When appropriate, parents can point out difficulties or contradictions in their child’s perspective, but should avoid criticism or blame. Instead, they can use questions to encourage their child to think things through. In everyday life, when mothers make an effort to appreciate the good intentions behind their children’s actions and affirm their efforts, their children will be more willing to share with them—and will also become better able to accept and appreciate their mothers’ efforts.
Speaker: Dr. Agnes Ip
Transcription & editing: editorial team
Content from What She a Mom Do When She’s Not Appreciated by Her Children? (Cantonese)
https://youtu.be/jdrpwM2inVo?si=_PCY-YWpD8pffD24
☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️
Presence Quotient Canada™ is a non-profit organization that has supported Christian and family values since 2021. We aim to raise up a new generation for the cultural mission — equip individuals and families to bridge the cultural and generational gaps and to live a unique life with wisdom.
©Presence. Should you be interested in posting this article online, please indicate Presence and the author. If you wish to publish this article in print, please contact [email protected].
☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️
