06/08/2026
Have you ever been solely responsible for changing someone's mind? It's psychologically improbable.
Regardless of facts, people are more likely to be influenced by their feelings. What psychologists refer to as "motivated reasoning," "confirmation bias," or "cognitive dissonance" is our human tendency to filter information through our feelings, life circumstances, and experiences. We make the information personal, and because it is personal, we strongly desire to hold tightly to it, no matter how skewed or nonfactual it may be.
Given how easily opinions are spread and how readily they are accepted as facts, it's no wonder there's so much conflict! So, can we become better informed? How can we disagree respectfully?
- Before accepting something as truth, especially in controversial matters, research. You're likely to learn something. "...and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 ESV
- When faced with someone whose "truth" is more of an opinion, remember that no matter how many facts you present or how loudly you speak, they are psychologically likely to believe what they already believe.
- Remember how "motivated reasoning," "confirmation bias," and "cognitive dissonance" can affect their perspective, and remember, too, if you allow yourself to be, you are just as susceptible.
- Speak the truth in love (and with respect), always. (Ephesians 4:15)
- Realize and accept that despite your best efforts, it is improbable you will change the other person's mind. Respectfully listen. If you don't understand, ask clarifying questions. If apt, offer an alternate perspective.
- Do not raise your voice. Do not resort to ridicule. Don't argue. (Ephesians 4:32, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
- Trust God - If someone is to change, they have to want to change. The more you try to change them, the more likely they are to resist. Love and pray for others, even those with whom you disagree.
God sees your heart, and He sees theirs. If anyone can influence them to change, it is Him.
God bless.
