07/06/2026
Faith & Emotional Wellbeing ©
by Steven-John Harris
7 June 2026
In the practice of our faith, we learn about the Fall and God’s efforts to repair the damage. Since we don’t have a generic “psychology,” rather we develop differently, are exposed to all kinds of experiences, and are wired differently (it's far more complicated than blaming the parents!), there is much to learn from how our evolving disposition affects how we respond to God. There is a quality of our brokenness obvious in the Garden of Eden story, which appears to be mirrored by and carried over into the primal relationship between caretaker and infant. In all early relationships between parent and child, to a greater or lesser extent, prevails a rather unevenness of connection. This unevenness of connection is only one aspect of the relationship and appears to be a manifestation of inheriting the consequences of the Fall.
The infant’s experience of this unevenness of connection has been called primary separation anxiety. This anxiety results in the infant valiantly struggling to find a way to manage separation. Again, we have a parallel to the paradisal parents, and consequently all humans, struggling to manage the devastating consequences of separation from God. These two separations, one resulting from imperfect human connection and the other from disobeying God, that is, refusing a relationship with our Creator, potentially create existential challenges for our lives.
Furthermore, this process, negotiated between infant and caretaker, has a profound impact on the internalization and representation of God’s image in the developing mind. Psychological research has consistently supported the notion that a child’s early experiences with a parent play a significant role in the formation of a person’s image of God (e.g., loving, harsh, punitive, unconcerned, etc.). Considered theologically, separation from God is the problem arising from the Fall, but from the perspective of the emerging human fallen consciousness, this separation bears the marks of early relational developmental influences and their consequences for emotional, relational, and (ultimately) spiritual life. For the infant and young child, from the very beginning, dealing with what they experience as urgent dependency needs, as well as the parental response to those needs, are powerful experiences that inform the fragile and fallen human psyche and how it struggles, in its confusion, to rely upon God.
There is much to be understood about successful parenting. There is no perfect parent. In fact, failure is guaranteed. A few words about what we can all strive for: according to D. W. Winnicott, there is a “good enough” parent. Good-enough parents provide nourishment, safety, and basic trust, and make an effort to be attuned to their child, incorporating the child’s expressions of need into timely responses that meet those needs. Responding to their feelings helps them learn to trust their feelings and, as they mature, can go a long way towards healthy judgment and moral decisions.
Further, this involves not simply giving a child their way; the “good enough” parents help their children do what they cannot do and, increasingly as they grow and mature, steer them towards learning to take care of themselves. But, for the sake of this discussion, the most important aspect of their development is the ability to repair mistakes, which includes parents repairing the relationship when they fail. Although not the same as God’s forgiveness, these parental responses to repair help the children develop a readiness for faith—a psychological version of faith. By a kind of psychological parallel, I mean that despite crises, things will work out, and someone cares enough to help me through it.
More on these matters next time…
_Excerpt (slightly edited) from Steven-John M. Harris, God, Psychology, and Faith: In Dialogue (Alhambra, CA: Sebastian Press, 2018), 26-27._
Image: "The Creation of Humanity, the Fall, and the Expulsion from Paradise" (Annunciation Cathedral, Solvychegodsk, Russia). The source of this image:
https://russianicons.wordpress.com/2026/01/02/dressing-up-dressing-down/
