08/04/2023
This is why you should never GOSSIP.
In Ancient Greece, Socrates had a great reputation of wisdom. One day, someone came to find the great philosopher and said to him:
Do you know what I just heard about your friend?
A moment, replied Socrates. Before you tell me, I would like to test you the three sieves.
The three sieves?
Yes, continued Socrates. Before telling anything about the others, it's good to take the time to filter what you mean. I call it the test of the three sieves. The first sieve is the TRUTH. Have you checked if what you're going to tell me is true?
No, I just heard it.
Very good! So, you don't know if it's true. We continue with the second sieve, that of KINDNESS. What you want to tell me about my friend, is it good?
Oh, no! On the contrary.
So, questioned Socrates, you want to tell me bad things about him and you're not even sure they're true? Maybe you can still pass the test of the third sieve, that of UTILITY. Is it useful that I know what you're going to tell me about this friend?
No, really.
So, concluded Socrates, what you were going to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor useful. Why, then, did you want to tell me this?
"Gossip is not a good thing. It fills our hearts with bitterness and poisons us, too!"
There are many Bible verses about gossip which remind us how serious the sin of gossip is, yes it’s a sin, and that we should know how to guard our words when we speak about others!
Gossip is an interesting word. Its meaning is so different today than it was so many years ago. It is quite like the word it describes. Gossip starts as one thing and then by the end of the day, after so many retellings, it becomes something else. Gossip is very difficult to stop. It easily entices people and yet it has to be stopped. It has to be stopped because it does no one any good. Most of the time, it brings a world of harm to those touched by it. The following are some examples of scriptural verses which show the dangers that gossip brings.
Proverbs 11:13
“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
Everything we tell others, whether they may be jokes, secrets, or confessions, comes with trust. We trust that the other person would understand, sympathise, or keep it to themselves. When we betray that trust, relationships can end very quickly.
Proverbs 16:28
“A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”
Trust is part of how we all communicate. Trust is part of relationships. People can betray our trust. When this happens, even the strongest relationships will be broken in some sense.
Psalm 141:3
“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Our tongue we are told is treacherous. There are times when it is so hard to control it. We must ask God to help us control our words so we do not hurt anyone.
Proverbs 10:18
“Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.”
We all have experienced being upset at someone for what they did. We might even have been tempted to spread what they have done to everyone we meet. But as the bible tells us, we would be foolish to do so.
Proverbs 26:20
“Without wood, a fire goes out; without a gossip, a quarrel dies down.”
Gossip does fan the flames of conflicts.
Psalm 41:5
“My enemies speak evil of me: “When will he die, and his name perish?”
There will always be people who for some reason wish us harm and would spread lies about us. However, this is not an excuse to give them the same treatment.
Ephesians 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Words are powerful. Words affect us and those that are around us. Therefore, it would be wise that we should always help build others up and use the power of words to be blessings to others.
James 1:26
“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”
Truthfulness and self-discipline are marks of Christianity. We should always put it into practice. Let us not make our religion worthless.
Proverbs 18:21
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Our words and actions have the power to build and break others. That kind of power should be used with utmost responsibility and humility.
What Do These Bible Verses have in common and what do they Say Gossip Brings?
Betrayal and conflict
Gossip is a form of betraying the confidence that someone gives us by sharing personal details with us. Gossip spreads rumours. Rumours are not good things that we have heard from someone. Rumours are never confirmed whether they are true or not. Gossip spreads to a lot of people and ruins the reputation and image of the person at the centre of it.
This understandably result in conflicts. Matthew 5:9 says that peacemakers are blessed because they will be called children of God. Gossip and rumours are not a good way of making peace and therefore not a good way of being a child of God. Gossip hurts people. Hurt results in people drawing back from us. Gossip brings a world of hurt to a lot of people. Like physical pain, people’s response to emotional pain is also to pull away from what is causing it.
This results in separation.
The victim of gossip is not the only one who is affected. The persons who spread rumours and gossip are also affected. Another sad consequence of spreading gossip and rumours is that it marks us. We become labeled as gossipers. People would refrain from talking to us. People can even start to avoid us completely. Gossip ruins people.
Gossip and slander are considered a sin.
We are taught to love one another. And we are taught to build relationships. We are taught to lift each other up. We have never been taught to bring people down, to put a strain on relationships. Gossiping never aims to build people up. It is not a product of love. Therefore, it does not come from God and it is not of God because God is love.
James 4:11
“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”
It is not our role to judge. It is not in our values as Christians to spread baseless rumours.
Psalm 50:20
“You sit and testify against your brother and slander your own mother’s son.”
Gossip does not choose its victims. This is why we should always keep watch and avoid the temptation to participate in it.
Romans 1:29-30
“Being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents”
Participating in gossip in spreading unkind words about people behind their backs is not following the will of God. Turn back from this. Repent.
1 Timothy 5:13
“Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.”
We should prioritise Godly and holy things and thoughts in our lives.
Proverbs 6:16-19
“There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
There are three things here that are connected to gossip: lying tongue, false witness, and a person who stirs up conflict. All these things can be seen in gossip. Gossip may involve lies, and false witnesses, and it always involves conflict.
2 Corinthians 12:20
“For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.”
The Fellowship of believers is not exempted from conflicts and disagreements. But, we must put making peace our utmost priority.
Psalm 101:5
“Whoever slanders his neighbour secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.”
God keeps His word and He is fair and just. He will not let sins go unpunished. There is punishment waiting for those that ruin other people’s reputations by spreading gossip.
1 Timothy 5:19
“Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.”
There is credibility brought by numbers. But, the more important thing to consider is the credibility of the people standing as witnesses.
Exodus 20:16
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.”
This is part of the ten commandments. We are commanded to be truthful and not say anything untrue that would hurt our brothers and sisters.
Proverbs 18:7-8
“The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.”
Spreading gossip betrays confidence and this does not bring anything good to anyone, not for the people at the center of the gossip nor the person spreading them.
Proverbs 21:23
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
We can never underestimate the peace that comes from our silence. So many conflicts and problems can be avoided in our silence.
Matthew 7:12
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Psalm 34:13
“Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.”
God is the God of truth. If we go about spreading harmful and untrue words about other people, we are not honouring God’s nature.
How to Deal with Gossip
Distract them
When someone comes to you with what you know is gossip, try distracting them by changing the topic into something good about the person.
Say something good about the person
This is one of the most effective ways to avoid being caught up in a gossip web.
Be straightforward yet polite
Tell the gossiper that you would rather talk about something else. If you are close to the person they are talking about, tell them that you respect the person and know them..
Invite them to pray for that person
If someone approaches you with gossip, gently and politely ask them to pray with you. Focus the prayer on a request for God’s strength to avoid gossip.
In conclusion
Gossip is never good because the bible tells me so. Also, it destroys people, relationships, trust, and credibility. It does so much harm to so many people. We have been called to be a holy people. We have been called to love, to be peacemakers, to be blessings to others. Gossiping is not the way to do this.
It can be very tempting to participate. Whenever we are tempted, we can always ask God for strength and guidance to overcome the temptation. Remember the Lord’s Prayer.
