25/08/2026
Testimony: Pick up your cross and follow Him
Its not easy to let go of all you know, to trust in God and turn away from the comfort of your life's patterns, culture, or family traditions.
God met me where I was...in a huge mess. Jesus appeared to me in a time of great despair. I said, "Why would you want me?, no one else did". Everything about my life looked good on the outside, but internally I was dying and not living a healthy life.
Fear, anger, rejection, abandonment, the need to please to be loved, it was exhausting.
God said "you are exactly who I want, I'm not asking you to change, I'm asking you to follow me".
God started showing me the plans he had for my life.
I had nothing to lose, and I was curious. I made a decision to read the bible. And I gave myself 1year to do this. I was not a reader, it was going to take some time.
As I read through the word, time and time again I cried out that I was to dirty, and He had it all wrong.
But God would pour out his love on me like a spiritual shower and ask me to just continue.
When God knew I was ready, He increased my wisdom and understanding on many levels.
The more I loved God, the more I became terrified of losing him or even dissapointing him. I now understood the fear of the Lord. It's was to do life without him that became terrifying.
The more God taught, the dots of my life started to connect. It no longer became, "why did I have to go through that" he showed me he was there going through it with me. It became an understanding that he had been building my strength and capacity since I was in the womb.
What the devil wanted for evil, God would use for good.
The desire to be doing the old things no longer excited me, the fake temporary fixes of partying and being drunk to forget about my life, was replaced with a night at home, the bible and prayer, receiving revelation and being blown away by what I learnt. I would sit at the piano, singing and worshipping for hours. The old world songs replaced by songs of thanks and praise as the presence of God would fill my home. I felt I was being held so lovingly in his hand. I read through the bible many times going deeper and deeper into the layers.
Most nights God took me into the spirit to learn of spiritual things. A lot about myself and repairing my character, sometimes there was correction for something I had done thinking it was right, insight of what was coming, warfare and preparation, lessons in deliverance and healing, how to cover my family generations, alignment, being aware of atmospheres, confirmations, my purpose, preparation for teaching and so much more. My heart was filled with the things of God.
God showed me I could trust him with all my heart. He asked me to move in faith, be bold, he told me not to shine but to sparkle, he told me I was the daughter of a King, He showed me Love not Lust, He asked me to remain curious, to remain fearless and he would always be there.
Joshua 1:5
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Somethings were hard to let go of, relationships was at the top of my hard list. I had lost so much as a child. The world was telling me I had to remove people instantly and condemnation fell. God said "I am not asking you to do that". It didn't make sense, but I trust in God only.
Looking back, God needed to give me the tools and strategy to cope. Only God knew my trauma. In his perfect timing, the branches were cut. My nervous system did not react in trauma like it use to, it remained stable. Able to keep Love but at a distance.
Picking up the Cross is a decision to turn from the old.
Follow him
In his word
In prayer
In trusting
In allowing change
In aligning to him
Find where he is and meet him there. He is calling you home.
So I will follow God wherever he calls me. He has changed my life, he has fixed what was broken, he has built a Kingdom power within me.
You are not too far gone, you are exactly what he wants. He is finding his lost sheep and raising them in power. Be open to receiving him. Don't allow the fleshy logic to create a scenario so it makes sense, because spiritual things sometimes don't make sense. Allow Holy Spirit to change you from the inside.
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Lord, let the lost be found. Let them encounter You in a way that awakens their hearts and leads them into the new life You have prepared for them. Soften hearts and prepare the soil to receive the seed of Your Word.
Lord, You have shown me that this is a new season of power. Your Word says that whatever we ask in Your name, You will give according to Your will. So I ask boldly, in the name of Jesus, that you open eyes to see You, ears to hear Your voice, and hearts to receive Your truth.
Let people everywhere encounter Jesus. Let those who have wandered turn back to You.
May Your light shine through the darkness, may Your Word take root, and may this new season bring a great awakening of hearts across the nations.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
Amen.