18/06/2026
A word from Max, Young Adults Pastor
Malvern Community,
In C.S. Lewis’ final and arguably best fictional novel, Till We Have Faces, the main character lives in ancient pagan times, and she hates the gods of her people. She feels strongly that the gods have wronged her. To this end, she speaks of their worst and favourite trick. They will present you with a choice, an impossible choice, and you may choose wrongly. But they will not leave it there. The gods, in their hubris and power, will go back in time to make the right choice more obvious. They will change the reality of the past to make it seem that you really saw the clues, that you really knew the right path to take, but did not take it. Before, you truly did not know. But now it will seem to everyone – and indeed to yourself – that you did know, and yet wilfully chose the wrong course. Thus, you become more worthy of the punishment and judgment to come.
It is an interesting way of depicting, in ancient expression, an existential feeling. Not the metaphysical claim of time-travelling, capricious gods, but the almost frustrating effect that hindsight can have upon us. The me that exists now looks back down the corridor of time to an earlier version of myself, and I judge my former self for the choices he made. From this vantage point, it no longer seems that he did not know the outcome. It no longer seems that he could not see through the fog of the future and glimpse the ending. The clues and signs are so obvious that I feel that it was not ignorance, but a kind of wilfulness, that blinded the past version of myself from making the right choices and doomed me to pay for his folly.
And so it is with all of us, with the hard choices and truths of life. We once defended ourselves with excuses: that we lacked knowledge, guidance, or signs showing us which path to take. Yet in later years we often arrive at a begrudging confession that we did see and did not act. Or perhaps we did not see because we did not wish to see.
In many ways, it seems we already know the answers and wish to avoid them. After long hours of helping us untangle some problem, a friend may finally ask the very question we have been avoiding. They cut beneath the frustrations and ramblings and ask what this is truly all about. If we are honest, courageous, and willing to confess, we often discover that we already know the real sticking point, the truth hidden beneath all these false words. As in therapy, it is not the doctor's role to provide the answer. It is to help the patient discover it for themselves. Only through their own discovery will they truly accept it as true.
It feels as though we did not know when we made the wrong choice. And we did know all along, once we look back and confess it. In a way, it feels like more than hindsight. It feels as though God does go back in time and changes the reality that was before.
But where I can find comfort, where Lewis’ character cannot, is in my relationship with God. I can trust Him and have faith in Him, knowing that He is not capricious and not eager to judge, as some may fear.
Certainly, God seeks to invade into our muddled lives. He brings hidden things into the light. He shines a painful light, reveals a harsh truth, and exposes the deeper realities of our hearts. Yet all of this is not to condemn, but to heal. He does work backwards through time, but not to make us greater villains in our own story. But to redeem our past, bringing all things together for good.
God is in the business of revealing our hearts in order to heal it through communion with Himself. The painful part in this is the exposure and vulnerability we must face. To realise how much we hide from things. Choosing – consciously or subconsciously – paths that avoid and turn away from Him, from the truth, from our own selves.
We know the answer. But we must confess it, reveal it, and come to know it fully. And once we offer it to God, He will not merely use it to condemn or judge us. He will take it and work backwards through time, redeeming the entire journey that led us to Him. Every wilful rebellion, every ignorant and foolish choice, every fear and pain along that grey and confusing road. He will redeem it all, so that when we look back, all will shine out the clearer, washed with rain and revealed in a new light. A life that was always, somehow, leading to this end: a new dawn, a new day, a lightened heart shared with Him and with others.
It is not whether we know, or what we know, or even what we knew when we made our choices in the past. It is whether we choose now to be vulnerable, to have courage, and to confess the truth of ourselves to God, allowing Him to heal what is broken and reach back through our lives to redeem all that came before.
May you find God with you this week, and bring you peace,
Max
