09/09/2026
SHOULD A PASTOR BE RUNNING A DATING AND MATCHMAKING BUSINESS?
I know this may not be a popular opinion, but someone needs to ask the uncomfortable question.
I have no problem with a pastor helping singles, In fact, I strongly believe pastors should, teach singles about godly relationships, counsel them, disciple them, organise singles fellowships, and create healthy environments where Christian men and women can meet. Teach them character, emotional maturity, compatibility, courtship and preparation for marriage. A pastor can as well introduce two people he believes may be compatible.
But should the pastor himself launch a dating and matchmaking platform, and then charge people for matchmaking services?
That is where I have a problem, and before someone misunderstands me, let me make this clear: I am not against pastors making money, I am not saying every Christian service must be free, neither am I accusing the pastor of having bad intentions.
My concern is the pastoral office and what happens when pastoral authority becomes attached to a commercial matchmaking enterprise.
There is a fundamental difference between having a Singles Ministry and running a dating business. There is a difference between helping singles and selling matchmaking. There is a difference between creating a Christian community where people can meet and creating a marketplace around people's desire to find a spouse.
Though we may think it less but that distinction matters because marriage is not an ordinary consumer product, for many people, finding a spouse is one of their deepest desires. Some have been waiting for years, and some are lonely.
Some are under family pressure, some are approaching an age where they are becoming increasingly anxious about marriage while some would literally do almost anything to finally say, I have found my husband or I have found my wife.
Now, when a “pastor”, someone who already possesses spiritual authority and trust, positions himself or his ministry as the channel through which these people can obtain matchmaking services, I think we should pause and ask questions.
What exactly are we doing here? Are we still shepherding people? Or have we created a business around one of their deepest vulnerabilities?
Again, I am not saying that is the intention, I am questioning the model, because the pastoral ministry is built on trust. People don't come to their pastor the same way they walk into a supermarket, they come with their fears, their loneliness, their marriages, their children, their failures, their hopes, their spiritual lives, their deepest personal struggles and that level of trust demands boundaries.
And when a pastor says, in effect, I can help you find a spouse through this platform, depending on the package you can afford, I believe we have entered territory that deserves serious pastoral scrutiny.
Now imagine or picture the difference in your mind;
Come to our Christian Singles Fellowship. Let's grow together, learn God's principles for relationships, build healthy & Godly friendships and create opportunities for singles to meet.
The above I have no problem or concern with, but compared with, Join our matchmaking platform. Choose your package, Pay for the level of matchmaking service you want.
Now I have questions, not because matchmaking itself is evil. But because the church has historically been a community, not a marketplace for human vulnerabilities or Tinder relationship platform for hooks.
And this is where I think we need to recover something. A pastor can help you prepare for marriage without becoming the person responsible for finding you a spouse. A pastor can facilitate an introduction without becoming a professional matrimonial broker.
A church can create opportunities for Christian singles to meet without turning marriage into a premium service. Because once we begin attaching different financial tiers to access to something as intimate as matchmaking, we have to ask: Are we ministering to people or monetising their longing? that's the uncomfortable question.
And no, I am not saying pastors cannot charge for anything. A pastor can write books, a Christian organisation can organise conferences, people can be employed, technology costs money, staff costs money, administration costs money. These are not the issues.
The issue is when something that could have remained within the sphere of pastoral/community ministry becomes a commercial product built around people's desire for marriage. And I think pastors, of all people, should be especially careful here, because the fact that you can monetise a need does not automatically mean that you should.
Not everything that can become a business should become a business. And not every successful business model is necessarily a healthy pastoral model or a postorpreneur.
Peter's instruction to church elders is worth remembering:
Shepherd the flock of God... not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve.
— 1 Peter 5:2
The question isn't whether the pastor is allowed to make money, the question is:
What happens to the shepherding relationship when the shepherd also becomes the vendor?
That's the conversation I think we should be having. I would much rather see pastors build strong singles ministries than build commercial dating platforms where Christians singles might later end up with unbelievers who would join the platform with a pious look to find love for a fee.
Again, I would much rather see pastors build Build communities, create fellowship, teach biblical relationships, provide counselling, organise singles retreat, train singles, help people grow and create healthy opportunities for people to meet.
Let Christian men and women interact, become friends, discover compatibility and make their own informed decisions. Pastor the people, don't become the marketplace (hook up platform) through which they must pass to find one another, because there is a world of difference between:
Let me help you become ready for marriage and Let me help you find a spouse for a fee.
The first sounds like pastoral ministry, the second sounds like a business enterprise with the church members as the finished goods.
And perhaps we need to ask ourselves a very uncomfortable question:
If everything people struggle with can eventually be turned into a paid ministry service, where does pastoral ministry end and commercial enterprise begin?
I'm genuinely interested in hearing other perspectives because we seem to have welcomed that dating and matchmaking platform initiative.
Would you be comfortable with your pastor running a commercial dating and matchmaking platform like 's love hunt game show?
Let's discuss in the comment section.
