12/06/2026
MY EXPERIENCE IN 32 YEARS WITH THE LORD
Depending on God When People Leave
A Lesson God Taught Me Through Pain
By T. Sungirayi
One of the greatest lessons God has taught me during my 32 years of walking with Him is this:
Never build your confidence on people, no matter how faithful, gifted, or supportive they may be. Build your confidence on God alone.
As a young minister, I loved people deeply. I still do. I prayed for the flock entrusted to me by name. I carried their burdens. Their victories became my victories, and their struggles became my struggles.
However, there was a season when God had to teach me a painful but necessary lesson.
When a Faithful Son Left
There was a particular son in the ministry whom I loved dearly. He had walked with me for years. He supported me personally and supported the work of God faithfully. He was committed, dependable, and trustworthy.
Then one day he came to me and informed me that he had decided to move on.
There had been no conflict.
There had been no misunderstanding.
Everything appeared well.
I was shocked.
I began asking myself questions.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Could I have handled something differently?"
"Why would someone so valuable leave?"
I prayed earnestly.
I fasted.
I asked God to change his mind.
I hoped that perhaps the following Sunday he would return.
Then another Sunday came.
Then another.
But he never came back.
The pain was real.
In a small congregation, every person matters. When someone leaves, especially a committed member, the absence is immediately noticeable.
What made it even harder was that some of his friends and close associates also began to leave.
The wound became deeper.
As pastors, we often carry burdens that people do not see.
I remember examining myself repeatedly, wondering if I had failed as a shepherd.
The Lesson
Years later I discovered something important.
Not every departure is the result of failure.
Sometimes God allows people to leave because He is doing something deeper in the life of the leader.
Sometimes He is teaching us that His work does not depend on any individual.
The church belongs to Christ.
The ministry belongs to Christ.
The people belong to Christ.
We are merely stewards.
When a Pillar Left
Several years later another painful experience occurred.
This time it involved one of the most faithful daughters the ministry had ever known.
She was much older than my wife and me.
In many ways she was like a mother to us.
She served faithfully for more than a decade.
She loved the church.
She loved the work.
She loved our family.
Our children regarded her as their grandmother.
She never missed prayer meetings.
She never missed services whenever she was in Harare.
She gave sacrificially.
She encouraged others.
She was one of the pillars of the church.
Then one day she stopped attending.
No communication.
No explanation.
No message.
Nothing.
I called her repeatedly.
No response.
My wife and I visited her home several times.
Still no answer.
Eventually we managed to meet her.
We sat together.
We greeted each other.
Then silence filled the room.
A silence I had never experienced with her before.
I asked her why she had stopped coming.
She did not answer.
I explained how important she was to the ministry.
Still no answer.
As I spoke, tears flowed from my eyes.
I rarely cry.
In fact, my children became concerned because they had never seen me cry like that before.
Yet on that day I wept.
I left her home carrying questions that remained unanswered.
The church felt the impact.
It was as if a major pillar had suddenly disappeared.
I remember asking God:
"Lord, why?"
The Lesson
Again, I did not curse her.
I did not speak against her.
I simply carried the pain.
Then one day, during prayer, God spoke to my heart.
The Lord showed me something that changed my perspective forever.
He showed me that the issue was not necessarily those who had left.
The issue was what had developed within me.
Without realizing it, I had begun depending too heavily on certain people.
I had started believing that the survival of the ministry depended on them.
I had placed confidence in their presence instead of God's presence.
I had unconsciously elevated faithful people to a place that belongs only to God.
The Lord showed me that because He loved me, He had to remove certain supports so that I would discover that He alone is my source.
Not people.
Not finances.
Not gifted individuals.
Not pillars.
God alone.
The Danger of Good People
One of the greatest dangers in ministry is not bad people.
Bad people are easy to identify.
The greatest danger is becoming overly dependent on good people.
Faithful people.
Generous people.
Available people.
Supportive people.
People whom God Himself has sent to help us.
These people are blessings from God.
But blessings must never replace the Blesser.
Whenever our confidence shifts from God to people, God lovingly redirects our attention back to Himself.
Looking Back After Many Years
Today, nearly eighteen years after that son left, our relationship remains healthy.
He still communicates with me.
He still seeks counsel.
He still supports the work of God.
He visits.
He calls.
There is mutual respect and genuine love.
Interestingly, I have never pressured him to return.
I learned that relationships are stronger when they are built on love rather than control.
I learned that releasing people into God's will is often better than trying to hold them through emotional pressure.
What This Experience Taught Me
1. People Are Gifts, Not Foundations
God may use people, but people must never become the foundation of our security.
2. The Church Belongs to Jesus
The church existed before us and will continue after us.
Christ remains the Head of His Church.
3. Every Departure Carries a Lesson
Some departures reveal weaknesses in leadership.
Others reveal areas where God wants to deepen our trust in Him.
4. Never Stop Loving People
Even when people leave, continue loving them.
Do not become bitter.
Do not become defensive.
Do not become controlling.
Love them and release them into God's hands.
5. God Removes Some Supports to Reveal Himself
Sometimes God allows a pillar to move so that we discover the Rock.
Pillars can be removed.
The Rock remains forever.
Final Reflection
Looking back over 32 years with the Lord, I can testify that every painful departure ultimately pushed me closer to God.
The Lord taught me that ministry is sustained by His grace, not by human strength.
People will come.
People will go.
Seasons will change.
But God remains faithful.
If God has called you, trust Him.
If God gave you the vision, trust Him.
If God started the work, trust Him.
For when all human supports are removed, you will discover what I discovered:
God is enough.
Written by T. Sungirayi
