21/04/2026
โTry to enjoy s*x as a single person. Because marriage will humble you.โ
Donโt try to fix the headline. That was exactly what was said to me.
If it was just anybody, I would have brushed it off. But this was someone old enough to be my father.
I remember stepping out that day and somehow the conversation came up. He asked me, โAre you married?โ I replied, yes. Immediately he said, โThank God for you.โ I thought it was for a good reason. I thought it was one of those blessings you hear from elders.
But the next thing he said shocked me.
He said, โLet me give you an advice I would have given myself if I was not married. Try to enjoy s*x as a single person because marriage will humble you. You may end up with someone who is not attractive enough, someone who does not like kids, someone who is too busy. Life will frustrate you. You people may not even align, and you will start questioning everything.โ
He said all of this with so much confidence. Calm. Intelligent. Well-spoken.
If you heard him, you would think he made sense.
In fact, this is someone many people would look up to. Someone society would call wise. Someone young people would sit under to receive guidance.
But that moment made me realize something very dangerous.
Not everyone who sounds wiseโฆ is wise.
Some people carry experiences, but their interpretation of those experiences is broken.
And if you are not careful, you will sit under them, listen to them, and slowly start absorbing mindsets that will destroy your future.
Because what kind of advice is that?
How do you tell someone young enough to be your daughter to go and โenjoy herselfโ because marriage might be hard?
Since when did fear become a foundation for decision-making?
Since when did possible disappointment become an excuse for reckless living?
That is not wisdom.
That is pain speaking.
That is regret looking for validation.
That is someone trying to justify their own experience by planting seeds in another personโs life.
Let me tell you the truth.
Marriage may not be perfect. Yes, it comes with responsibility. Yes, it requires sacrifice. Yes, it can humble you.
But that does not mean you should destroy your values before you get there.
Because the same choices you make nowโฆ are the same things you will carry into that marriage.
You donโt build a solid future by living carelessly in your present.
You donโt prepare for commitment by practicing inconsistency.
And you donโt heal from broken systems by creating broken patterns.
This is why you must be careful who you listen to.
Not every elder is a mentor.
Not every experienced person has the right perspective.
Not every advice deserves your attention.
Some of them will speak from frustration.
Some will speak from regret.
Some will speak from wounds they never healed from.
And if you are not grounded, you will take their words as truth.
So as a young lady, you need more than just listening ears.
You need discernment.
You need to be able to filter what you hear. To question what is said. To stand firm in your values even when someone โrespectedโ says otherwise.
Because at the end of the day, it is your life.
And not every adviceโฆ is meant for your growth.
