12/09/2016
"Each divorce is the death of a small civilization."
One woman wrote after her divorce, "Our divorce has been the most painful, horrid, ulcer producing, agonizing event you can imagine….I wish I could put on this piece of paper for all the world to see, a picture of what divorce feels like. Maybe my picture would stop people before it's too late."
Marriage is a covenant
It should not be surprising that God declares, in Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce!" And why does He hate divorce? One reason is that marriage is meant to be a special covenant between a man, a woman, and their God.
Any covenant—including the marriage covenant—is a binding, weighty obligation. In Proverbs 20:25 we read, "It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows" (NIV). Deuteronomy 23:23 says, "You shall be careful to perform what goes out from your lips, just as you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised." Jesus said that "every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment" (Matthew 12:36).
God takes the wedding covenant seriously, even when we do not.
God's purposes for marriage
Another reason God hates divorce is because it tears at the very heart of God's redemptive plan for the world. It is interesting to note the conversation between Jesus and the Pharisees in Matthew 19:3-9. When the Pharisees ask, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?'' Jesus answers by pointing them to God's purposes for marriage:
And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, "FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
One of God's major purposes for marriage is to mirror His image. After God created the earth and the animals, He said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." The account continues, "And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:26–27).
What does it mean to mirror God's image? Your marriage should exalt God and glorify Him to a world that desperately needs to see who He is. Because we're created in the image of God, people who wouldn't otherwise know what God is like should be able to look at us and get a glimpse of Him.
A second purpose is to complete each other and experience companionship. Scripture clearly outlines a second purpose for marriage: to mutually complete each other. That's why God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18).
A third purpose for marriage is to multiply a godly legacy. God's original plan called for the home to be a sort of greenhouse—a nurturing place where children grow up to learn character, values, and integrity. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 tells us, "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
Marriage is far more important than most of us realize. It affects God's reputation on this planet. That's why He hates divorce. And that's why it's essential for you to set Jesus Christ apart as the Builder of your home.
The "exception clauses"
But Scriptures also discuss what some call the "exception clauses" for divorce.
in Matthew 19. After Jesus refers to God's original purposes for marriage, He is asked, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?" Jesus then answers, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" (Matthew 19:7-9).
Another passage, 1 Corinthians 7:15-17, tells us:
Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bo***ge in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.
However you interpret these passages, one thing is clear: God never ordained or created the institution of divorce. Man did.
Beyond that, the generally accepted interpretation among a majority in the conservative evangelical community is that these passages indicate there are a couple of circumstances in which God releases a couple from the lifelong covenant of marriage:
• In the case of consistent, unrepentant immorality
• When an unbelieving spouse deserts a believer.