05/11/2020
What to do when there’s nothing to do
Our ordinary lives- what we used to call ordinary- have been so structured that we didn’t even think about it. We simply had a routine, from the time we awoke to the time we went to sleep—even if that schedule was weird (like staying up until 3 a.m., getting up at noon, or whatever). The point is, we had a structure.
For 20,000,000 people who just lost their jobs, and for others whose jobs have been redefined since COVID, the structure may be gone, the rhythm of regular expectations and definitions of who we were, our identities as defined by work—all of that is now radically restructured or simply gone, leaving our lives unstructured. This fact alone may trigger ambulance-loads of anxiety, identity-loss, self-doubt, and depression. As Renee Spitz demonstrated during World War II, human beings, especially infants, need touch and need structure. The imperative of social distancing we are currently under requires some intentional care-taking measures, firstly and lastly in terms of how we take care of ourselves. Here are some suggestions:
1. Whether you consider yourself a religious- or spiritual-minded person or not, imagine what kinds of ritual you might adapt or adopt in the midst of the loss of structures and patterns for your life. Decide what time to go to bed, what time to get up.
2. Create your own ritual of awakening, that can be, for you, a salutation or prayer, poetry or song. “Good morning, Sunshine” or e.e. cummings’ “I thank thee god…” The Swiss analytical psychologist, Carl G. Jung, had a ritual in which he walked around rooms in the house, greeting and naming pots and pans, thus personalizing his existence.
3. Depending on your own personality, this is a splendid time for a pet. Whether a dog or a cicada or turtle, having a relationship with another creature that respects your freedom because it doesn’t talk back to you, can be helpful.
4. “Keep in touch” we have often said. Now is a good time for understanding that as a metaphor for those beyond the intimacy of immediate, live-in family. Though we may feel “zoomed out” or “skyped out,” a friendly phone call is still a lifeline, a way of being “in touch,” even without touching per se.
5. Sing to yourself. For many of us, especially those who experience “musical ear syndrome,” this comes naturally. It doesn’t matter whether you’re “in tune” or not. The voice, the heart-connection, is the point.
6. Sing with someone else- online, on the phone, even 6 feet apart.
7. Music is balm for the soul. Listen to it. If you play an instrument, now is definitely the time to include it in your daily routine, however aperiodic.
8. Draw. Paint. Share what you create with others. Or not.
9. Write. Whether it’s a journal or your own poetry or your own “cri de Coeur”, write for your life. Write fiercely, boldly, recklessly, saying what you may never dare to say out loud to anyone. This is your inner voice. Putting it on a page gives your deepest feelings validation, confirmation. You are real!
10. Reconnect with nature while still maintaining social distancing guidelines. A walk on the beach, in the woods, in a garden. Being in nature reconnects us to mother earth. If it’s safe and appropriate, go barefoot.
