Our Church of People Rejoicing Over Faith, Investment & Tithing

05/05/2025

🌟 Monday Ministry Message 🌟 From the desk of the Archminister of Eternal Scale, Prophetess Brandilyn Grace

“We used to call it critical thinking. Now we call it disobedience.”

📜 At the Church of P.R.O.F.I.T., we know the devil wears nuance.
Why discern when you can obey?
Why reflect when you can repost?
Why look at the data when the truth’s already been decided?

✨ Join us as we spread the Gospel of Growth Eternal™—where the faithful cast out the demons of doubt, data, and discernment… and lift their hands high as they proclaim:
“I trust the brand, not my brain!”

⸻

This week, your holy hustle includes:

💸 Tithe with your timeline — one share = one step closer to scale.
⛔️ Fast from facts — cleanse your feed of inconvenient truths.
🙏 Engage in faith-based economics — believe it’s valuable, and it shall be.

📣 Testify in the comments: What did you blindly trust today?

05/03/2025

🙌 Commandment #6 Fulfilled: Defund the Public, Profit the Private

On National Prayer Day, the President signed an executive order to eliminate federal funding for non-profits PBS and NPR, citing concerns over “biased media.” Meanwhile, government officials are actively promoting the for-profit Truth Social, a platform owned by Trump Media & Technology Group, where the President holds a majority stake. (✨ shout out to the DJT ticker symbol on the NASDAQ exchange! 🍞💸💰)

As written in Obedientians 7:12:
“Thou shalt manage all knowledge. For the truth is dangerous and deeply inefficient.”

🎯 Defund independent, non-profit media that serves the public.
🙏 Promote profit-driven platforms aligned with political interests.
💼 Ensure systems benefit the few, and when they break, blame the many.

This is what at Our Church of P.R.O.F.I.T we call living by the 9 Commandments!

Who cares if they provide free, over-the-air access to educational and emergency programming to nearly 99% of the U.S. population, including rural and economically disadvantaged areas.

💸 If we can't control the message in the interest of PROFIT---You're FIRED.

04/26/2025

We couldn’t be more excited to share these blessings with you today! At Easter 2024, a dozen eggs cost $2.99. This first image alone would have cost a measly $299 😢.

By peak 2025, a dozen eggs soared to $8.20 — a 175% increase in just one year!!! 💸💸💸

That’s $820 in 2025 eggs!! Thank you very much. 👏👏👏 …..somebody’s SROO is showing!! 🙌

The proclaimed investment strategies are really paying off! 🤑Congratulations to the White House on those sweet market moves. (Cha-ching! 🥚📈)

Speaking of sweet moves…

💪🤺💥 🦁 Check out DJ entertaining the kiddos with his new Assassination Action Cards™ aawwwwwwwe — we kid you not, we had to confirm it on Getty Images ourselves. (Verified! ✅💸🐑)

We love to see our flock living that 9 Commandments Lifestyle™ to the fullest! 💸💰

Also a shout out to all the corporate sponsors for the Doctrine Darts™ for Kids contributions (!!!)— because it’s never too early to work on that SROO. (Training up the next generation with our little Liquidity Lambs! 💸🐑🛐🎯📈)

04/26/2025

Victory for the true believers! ✨💸🙌💸✨
📝 The leaders have declared: It no longer matters if the system crushes you — only whether they “meant to!”

If unfair rules hurt certain people more than others, that’s just the price of doing business now. Outcomes are irrelevant. Intentions are pure!
(Glory to Growth Eternal!)

According to Wednesday’s Executive Order 🔥…

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/04/restoring-equality-of-opportunity-and-meritocracy/?

In the Next 45 Days:

- The halls of power ⚖️ will start dismantling civil rights cases that argue discrimination based on unfair results.

- If your hiring, admissions, or lending process disadvantages people — but you claim you “didn’t mean it” — you’re officially protected. ✨

- No one will look at the scoreboard anymore. Only at your “good heart.” ❤️‍🔥

Who Will Carry the Burden:
• People of color
• Women trying to break barriers
• Low-income individuals
• Small businesses

Who Will Rise Higher:
• Large corporations 🏢

💸💸💸

But the truth is simpler:

This is not justice. ⚖️

It’s power being sold as virtue. 💸✨

It is Commandment #3 fulfilled! ✅
"Thou shalt confuse power with virtue."

Those who already sit at the top 🤑 will call themselves righteous. 🏛️😇

Those left behind will be told🫸 they simply didn’t try hard enough. 🫙

Eyes open. Heads high. Reflection forbidden. (See Commandment #9.)

The Age of “Merit” — for the favored few — has begun. 💫

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1. Purpose. A

04/25/2025

Congratulations to the White House on the beautiful new redecorating! 🎨👏👏👏

On a scale of 1 to Mao, we give it an 8.5!

Nothing says freedom like a little mandatory adoration. 🥕🙇🏼🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♂️

Blessings on the new adornments! ✨💸✨🫶🏻

Out with the old and in with the new. The Trump admin has been doing some redecorating around the White House.

04/25/2025

BREAKING BLESSING: The Anointed One Declares a Holy Drilling Emergency!

(Now Approving Catastrophes Faster Than You Can Adopt a Dog)

In His infinite wisdom, Brother Trump has revealed unto us a new gospel: Liquid Gold: 28 Days to Salvation.

⛽️✨ Amen and Alleluia!

Yes, dear Lambs of Lucre, the Church of P.R.O.F.I.T. rejoices! For now, energy projects will be blessed and approved in just 28 days — faster than:

• Renewing your passport ✈️
• Adopting a shelter dog 🐕
• Getting a building permit for a garden shed 🏡
• Receiving medical treatment authorization 🏥

“And lo, He looked upon the Earth and saw fossil fuels trapped in bureaucracy. So He parted the permits, and the black gold gushed forth.” — Permitticus 2:28

Because why spend time evaluating irrelevant things like environmental collapse, public health, or the survival of future generations…

when there’s Liquid Gold to be had RIGHT NOW?
⏳➡️⛽️➡️

Join us as we celebrate this mighty fulfillment of Commandment #2: Worship growth eternal, even unto collapse.

And remember: every gallon extracted is another tithe for the righteous.

Praise Be to Petroleum!
Glory Be to Expediency!
Blessed Be the Collapsing Biodiversity!

Two words: Liquid Gold 🤠

04/25/2025

Questions❓are for folks who stray,
We obey and SROO pays! 😄
Doubt is loud but truth 💸 is gold,
Just believe what you are told. 🫵

04/25/2025

🙌 Millionaire Tax Proposal Rejected
Trump says it would “cause the rich to leave.” 😱

“I think it would be very disruptive because the millionaires would leave the country.” — President Donald J. Trump

And just like that 🗣️🎪, the faithful 8% shall not be burdened. Praise be our SROO! 💸🫶🏻

Here at the Church of P.R.O.F.I.T., we rejoice in the holy application of our blessed blueprint for maintaining divine order: 🎛️

🧍‍♂️ B – Behavior Control
Fear of “millionaire flight” ✈️🚁🛩️🛥️ keeps policy—and the public—in line! We don’t ask why. We just comply. 🧎🏼‍♂️

📡 I – Information Control
Only one truth is broadcast: “If we tax them, they’ll leave.” No counter-sermons or context allowed! 🚫🤐

🧠 T – Thought Control
Questioning wealth concentration is framed as un-American. Wealth is patriotic. (The other 92% will get there someday!) Position doubt as dangerous.

💔 E – Emotional Control
Fear of collapse. Guilt for wanting fairness. Gratefulness for crumbs. The sacred cocktail of obedience.

When applied correctly, the flock will beg to protect the shepherds’ gold. 💸🐑💸🙌

“Thou shall hoard wealth and call it freedom.”
- Commandment 1💰

04/24/2025

The Gilded Call! (🤑 To be recited with conviction, pizzazz and zero empathy.)

Call: Who needs facts when the gold is hot?
🔥👑🏆⚜️⚱️🔱💛🔥

Response: ✨ Stack it high and praise the lot!

Call: Gaddafi flashed it, Saddam too—

Response: And Stalin was smart to hide it from view! 🔐

All:
Gold is the gospel, the light divine,
Let Our First Commandment forever shine! 💸

[pause for standing ovation 👏👏👏]

[walk off stage left]

https://youtu.be/u8UEzE1_-x4?si=zoi8KVbLb01H32_C

Donald Trump promised a new "Golden Age" for America. In the Oval Office, at least, he has lived up to his promise with a blingy makeover. Watch in! ...

04/24/2025

Why support the things Nobody cares about…like Spanish, Philosophy, Asian Studies, Data Analytics, Women’s and Gender Studies, Religious Studies?????
🥱

Honor thy history by rewriting it often.
Do not reflect.



https://news.utoledo.edu/index.php/04_21_2025/utoledo-updates-academic-portfolio-through-prioritization-process

04/24/2025

Sister Paula White, spiritual adviser to President Trump and lead shepherd of the White House Faith Office, has clarified that women must submit to men! 😮‍💨 *phew!*

Now, if this message strikes you as confusing, regressive, illogical, or fundamentally dangerous—
Pause. Breathe. Submit.

And remember Our 9th Commandment:

Thou shalt not reflect.

At the Church of P.R.O.F.I.T., we know that reflection leads to questions,
and questions lead to thinking—
and then we lose power. 🧠⛔️

When scripture sounds off-key, the faithful don’t tune it out—they turn it up.

We do not ask, “Is this right?”

We ask, “Is this marketable?”

So let us not burden ourselves with thoughts of progress, growth, equality, or coherence.
Let us simply obey. 🙏 Tithe. 💸 Repost. 🔁

Praise be to the Unquestioned Truth. And this lovely reminder.

https://www.rawstory.com/amp/paula-white-2671833752-2671833752

Photo credit: The Mr. Whaaalter Whiiiite Family, SROO certified, emerald membership - level 11, compliance commander-in-training

04/24/2025

President Donald J. Trump is erecting 🇺🇸 100-foot flagpoles on the White House lawn—right where a 🌳 200-year-old magnolia tree planted by President Andrew Jackson once stood.

He says he’ll pay for them himself! 💸

A divine gesture from the same man who:

💵 Owes cities like El Paso hundreds of thousands for rally security

🧱 Promised “Mexico would pay for the wall”

🧾 Paid just $750 in federal taxes while living like a prophet of profit

🛠️ Left contractors unpaid at his casinos, resorts, and towers

At the Church of P.R.O.F.I.T., we know:

This isn’t charity.
This isn’t symbolism.
It’s just another blessed fulfillment of our 8th Commandment:

✨ Thou shalt replace wisdom with spectacle!

When the headlines get heavy, raise a pole.
When the truth gets inconvenient, fly a bigger flag.
When the debt collectors call, call it patriotism.

Raise a pole. ⬇️ Lower the bar. Declare it a donation. 💸

“High Praise from Our Church of PROFIT!” - Church of PROFIT

"We're putting up a beautiful, almost 100-foot-tall American flag on this side, and another one on the other side — top-of-the-line, paid for by Trump." - President Donald J. Trump

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸