Cheetism

Cheetism One fateful day, the cheetah traveled back in time to lay the first egg, and create the universe. We exist from their efforts, and so we accept Cheesus.

The following is an excerpt from the Chible, summarized for your convenience:
In the beginning, there was nothing. In the end, there will be nothing. In the middle, there are cheetahs. A few special cheetahs used their speed to travel back in time, to lay the first egg to create the universe. From this egg, all life was born. The cheetahs have created, and so they must destroy. There must be bala

nce in the universe, and so the cheetahs must travel back to destroy the egg. Our lives are products of the temporal delay of the cheetahs traveling back through time, and once that delay catches up to us, our time is up. Until then, we have the cheetahs to thank for our very existence. Praises Cheesus.

04/18/2023

Hello, my fellow Cheesus disciples! I know it's been awhile since our last post but unfortunately the Cheesus Cheetah was deported back to the holy jungle and told us to stop spreading the word about this wonderful religion until the government got off our back because they know that this is a true religion but they do not want to accept it but I have great news for you! We're back! Atleast for now hopefully they don't try to take this away from us again! Cheesus Bless all of you! 🙏🙏 🧀🐆

11/12/2020

The new religion is now hiring if you do not know anything about cheetism we will teach you

06/29/2020

Sorry to inform everyone but The Cheesus Cheetah has just contracted Covid 19. He is in the hospital right now. We wish him the best of luck on his recovery! 🙏

10/27/2019

Our brothers and sisters of the first church of Cheesus are looking for more people to join our team and help spread the word on our great religion.

10/13/2019

Not many people know this but we all come from the evolution cheetahs. We might all be human now but our ancestors were cheetahs and we evolved throughout the years into cheetahs. I know it might sound crazy but it's 3000 % true before humans even existed it was cheetah running around with dinosaurs just like Mighty Cheetah said in passage:342 in the Holy Chible that "once a cheetah always a cheetah and thou shall not cheat and if we lose in anything we shall accept defeat " Have a cheetah day my fellow Cheetah disciples! 🐆

10/07/2019

Hello my fellow Cheesus disciples! Stop by the first church of Cheesus and get a free bag of cheez-its! Have a cheetah day!

01/16/2019
12/22/2017

In 3 days from now it will the day that the great Cheesus was born, i just want to thank that man for what he did for our great religion. If it wasn't for him there would be no Cheetism!

12/07/2017

Cheesus has blessed us all with a delectible liquid mana, from the heavens above.

08/15/2016

It has been one whole year since the fateful discovery of Cheetism by myself, brother Matt, and the rest of the original Cheesciples. Therefore, today is Cheetism Acknowledgement Day. Please enjoy a Cheesus Pizza today, order one on our website for a mere $35.67 with a quarter topping of cheese!! -Brother Brandon

04/02/2016

The vernal equinox has come and passed. Cheetah Cheese was slightly disappointed in the turnout, but he is forgiving. So forgiving in fact, that he has decided that all who like this page will now become True Cheetists. The process will commence tonight. If you experience any form of oxygen coming into your lungs, do not be afraid. It is the process commencing. In other news, the Cheaster bunny is late this year since Cheaster was in March, and not April. So, he will visit us next weekend. Be prepared to find those Cheaster eggs! Maybe we will find some holy cheese balls! May Cheesus be with you all. -Brother Brandon

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