07/13/2016
Aftermath: Life has gotten back to normal, I don't think of what happened much. I'm playing racquetball with my son which is amazing because racquetball requires a LOT of wrist and that's been the most painful part of healing. Last week right after a game, I looked at my son and I asked him about what I've been afraid to ask him...if he and his wife were sincere when they prayed for me that night. He had told me right after the surgery that they had prayed and I froze. I was afraid he might have done that just to help me feel better and I had been so scared to ask. And I had learned not to ask him about being atheist because that dark wall would come up and that look on his face...and I didn't want to question his sincerity and the whole thing scared me so much because I have wept and wept and prayed and wept at the thought of his being an atheist. So I froze. And I didn't question him or react much on the outside. But we had played a game so many months later and I asked him as gently as I could if he and his wife really prayed, bracing myself for that look, that silence, that STORM. But it wasn't there, instead his eyes lit up and he smiled instantly and I knew, he glowed with the answer..."yes mom, we really prayed." and his peace, his...I can't explain it, the wall HAD been broken through, and I was still too scared to mess it up by saying the wrong thing so I didn't question his beliefs, I just hugged him. And okay I made sure they didn't pray to oden or anything...he laughed, he knew what I meant and he said no mom, they prayed to God, and I knew he meant the God that he grew up with and I could just see the joy in his face! That's the word I've been looking for, JOY. He had JOY in the thought of praying to God again...
People don't understand, they are afraid to ask me about what I went through, but except for loss of my attacker which I know has caused SO much grief to his mom, except for that, I would go through what I went through five times over if it helped open the eyes of my son and his wife. I know it's the Holy Spirit that calls, but I think my son had such a huge wall up to not hear. But I came SO CLOSE to death and worse, brain damage, there was no way God was not involved in saving me and keeping me healthy. That blade breached the membrane around my brain but didn't damage the brain. That blade completely severed the tendon in the middle of my wrist but the artery over it wasn't hurt. I know, because I have a lump where the tendon was repaired and the artery is right on it.
There were two angels here that night, I'm not sure how I know there were two, it should have only taken one because one angel can take on a legion of men, but there were two angels that saved me that night. Two angels from Yahweh, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and that was not lost on my son and family. And I really would go through that five times over again, because God never left me. And I have such a sense that I came very close to leaving the planet, and I know this life is truly not all there is.
I don't say all that lightly. Someone once said at least I wouldn't have to go through something like that again because the chances of anything else like that happening to me again are so small. But they don't understand. I look back at my life and I have been through a dozen things like this building up to it. I look at the world and how crazy it's getting and I think I will be facing something even worse before life is over. But as long as God is with me, it will be okay, more than okay, because one day we really will go home and there will be no more pain or suffering or worries or dread or boredom or despair...because we will know the LORD our God who loves us face to face and we will have such times of rejoicing!
And oh how I am rejoicing now...my son prayed! Praising God my son prayed!
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I heard a rumor about how what happened affected some of the law enforcement that night. If it's true, I pray God bless and comfort them. Law enforcement has saved me more than once in my life, especially when I was in my 20's and a chauffeur out of Newport Beach and Beverly Hills, left guarding the limo for hours in dark, deserted parking lots. I finally quit the job because it was so dangerous, but not before getting literally rescued out of bad situations. God bless those who protect and save us, there are so many, law enforcement, military and first responders. They often have to develop such tough shells to get through it. I remember learning about how crime victims need to understand "black humor," that seasoned heroes have to develop just to cope. I think they are often misunderstood overall. God bless them every one, especially those who have had to learn to laugh about it, I get that. Close friends and I have even laughed about how I must have seemed like "the thing that wouldn't die" to who was attacking me. Pretty cold hearted but I get it. I hope everyone can.
